Tag Archives: warm

Biggest C&R Loser 2013

Biggest_CR_Loser_2013

Welcome to the 4th week of Biggest C&R Loser 2013! This year we’ll be keeping all of the results and placings secret until the end of the contest. We’ll also be pooling our cash to award the 2013 winner the largest prize we’ve ever awarded … a whopping $40!  This week’s theme is “EXERCISE” — How have our contestants changed their exercise habits?  What are they doing to stay in shape? Are any of them even trying? Here’s what they had to say:


Michelle M.

bcrld

Well, so far I haven’t been exercising at all. I have been thinking about getting Zumba. Someone was selling it fairly cheap on Craigslist, but it was snapped up before I could buy it. I’m still on the look-out for it. In the meantime I’ve been thinking about walking around the neighborhood lake…


Mikey

sleeping-tips

Have I exercised any differently since this started? Well I’m writing these blurbs each week…so that is different. Other than that I have not really changed what I’m doing exercise wise. I know this has to change, but if there is something I hate more than exercise I haven’t found it.


Mr. Sombrero

photo 2

I haven’t had much success with athletic activities recently. But in two weeks fitness classes start at work again. So I’m looking forward to squeeze in some calisthenics and yoga time. In the meantime, I’ll exercise by eye rolling every time Amanda Bynes does something stupid.

eye-roll


Nathan

lazy-man

I haven’t really been exercising at all. It’s ridiculously cold outside (below -40 tonight!) and I’ve mainly been changing my eating habits.


Polt

This week’s I’m to talk about my exercise…or lack thereof. I’m actually trying to get back to walking every 2-3 days instead of every 4-5 days like it has been. But really with as cold as it’s been, I don’t see myself walking much at all until it warms up. This will be me during the cold snap:

lazy_couch_potato

Now, if only I had a purple sofa to eat my popcorn on.


Tam

couch-potato-cat

Yeah. That pic pretty much sums it up. Today I will blame it on the frigid -40 temps, but that doesn’t explain last week when it was above freezing. Bah. It was a crappy week for me contest-wise. So let’s just move on people, nothing to see here. *beached whale*


TwoPi

twopi-jan23

Exercise? It is on my to-do list. I’m currently working on physical therapy, then will start on the exercise bike, and once I’ve built up some stamina the plan is to hit the Y. But I haven’t been a total slug, I’ve been going to the YMCA regularly! Mostly just to watch my kid’s swim class, though.


Adam

brown-chewing-gum-o

It’s effing cold outside and I haven’t exercised at all. Scratch that … I’ve been chewing a lot. Nom nom nom!


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Have You Ever … Had Bad Business Etiquette?!

OMG!  Did you know that we missed National Business Etiquette Week?  It was June 3rd – 9th.  DAMMIT!  That’s usually the only week a year that I behave myself at work.  I guess I’ll just have to wait until next year.  Do you have good business etiquette?  Let’s find out!

The rules are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

Have You Ever…

1. Have you ever farted loudly at work?
2. Have you ever burped loudly at work?
3. Have you ever pooped your pants at work?
4. Have you ever cursed at a coworker?
5. Have you ever been cursed at by a coworker?
6. Have you ever hung up the telephone on a coworker?
7. Have you ever hung up the telephone on a client/supplier/customer?
8. Have you ever stunk up the office with your nasty smelling food?
9. Have you ever eaten someone else’s food out of the office fridge?
10. Have you ever hogged the work microwave for 5 minutes warming up frozen food?
11. Have you ever borrowed office supplies off of a coworkers desk and not returned them?
12. Have you ever finished the office coffee and not made another pot?
13. Have you ever left the copier jammed after you jammed it?
14. Have you ever stolen office supplies from the office for home use?
15. Have you ever been reprimanded for not adhereing to the dress code at work?
16. Have you ever clogged the toilet at work and not tell anyone?
17. Have you ever snuck out of the office early and not tell anyone?
18. Have you ever used your lunch hour to interview for another job?
19. Have you ever complained about your job on facebook while at your job?
20. Have you ever physically struck a coworker?
21. Have you ever been physically struck by a coworker
22. Have you ever sexually harassed a coworker?
23. Have you ever been sexually harassed by a coworker?
24. Have you ever been sexually harassed by your boss?
25. Have you ever had sex with a coworker?

Tell us your total in the comments!


Where Should Nathan Go On Vacation?

Late last week, Nathan contacted me with a post idea. It seems that he has a week off in July and has no clue what to do and where to go on vacation. Here are my ten suggestions:

Stay in Canada! Canada is a beautiful wasteland of ice and snow. Who wouldn’t want to spend some free time exploring an iceberg, making snowmen, adding unnecessary u’s to words, and napping inside of an igloo! The temperature never goes above freezing in Canada!  Slap on your formal wear and have a ball!

Why not spend a week in wonderful Baghdad, Iraq! The largest city in Iraq is home to political unrest, massive troop withdrawals and startling civil rights violations. Who wouldn’t want to visit Baghdad? I hear that they have the best gay clubs in all of the Middle East!

How about a week in North Korea? Spend your time with the new supreme leader, Kim Jong-un! Try your hand at designing weapons of mass destruction, try on a huge selection of Kim Jong-il‘s high heeled shoes, and threaten to start World War III! And that’s all just in the first day!

How about a tour of Chernobyl, Ukraine? Tour the disintegrating nuclear sarcophagus, sample the local radioactive cuisine, and dance the night away with all the local mutants! You’ll leave Chernobyl with a “healthy” green glow that all your friends will be jealous of!

How about a lovely hike near Moab, Utah? While you’re there, make sure to get your arm stuck under a rock … and spend the next 127 hours practicing your survival skills!

Why not spend a week in sunny Afghanistan? Tour the expansive deserts (but watch out for IEDs!) or spend a few days hiding in a cave. For an extra few hundred bucks you can attend a actual terrorist training camp!

Spend a week exploring Antarctica! Antarctica, on average, is the coldest, driest, and windiest continent, and has the highest average elevation of all the continents. I can’t think of a better place to slap on some eyeliner and PAR-TAY!

What, you haven’t heard of Centralia, Pennsylvania? All properties in the borough were claimed under eminent domain by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania in 1992 (and all buildings therein were condemned), and Centralia’s ZIP code was revoked by the Post Office in 2002. Why? Because the mines below the surface are expected to be on fire for the next 250 years! Get yer tan on in Centralia!

None of those vacations are ticking your fancy? Then how about fabulous Somalia? Since the outbreak of the Somali Civil War in 1991 there has been no central government control over most of the country’s territory. But that can’t stop the bustling tourism business! Spend a day working as an actual Somali slumlord or reenact scenes Black Hawk Down!

If all else fails, you can always spend a week in the pink! Fat Betty’s anus is a warm and inviting … but be warned, when it’s poo-time, you’ll feel like you’re standing in the middle of the busiest highway in North America. She eats a lot, and yes, she poops a lot.

Those are my 10 best suggestions! Do you have a favorite, or maybe you have some ideas of your own? Help Nathan in the comments!

It’s The Friday Five!

C&R’s last crowdsourced Friday Five was such a hit that I’ve decided to do it again.  Here’s your Friday Five!

From Polt: What did I love about this week?  Freshly laundered bedsheets, still warm from the dryer.  Slapping these little slices of heaven right on the bed and then sliding between them, rolling onto your side, pulling the sheet up to your nose and making yourself a little cocoon of warm, comfy, lavender-scented awesomeness is one of life’s greatest pleasures!  Next to a night with three Asians with hairthings spent on those sheets.  Yeah, that would be better.

From Tam: My new favourite thing is PC Caramelized Red Onion Chutney. At our house we hate mustard and we hate mayonnaise, so sometimes sandwiches are a little dry, but since I discovered this product … *swoon*. The description: With a fusion of English-style malt vinegar and Italian balsamic vinegar of Modena, along with brown sugar, herbs, spices, and slow-cooked caramelized onions, our zesty chutney adds a dash of vibrancy to your dishes. Imported from United Kingdom.  Doesn’t that sound yummy? I guess the imported thing explains the price, a bit steep, but worth every cent to liven up my sandwich. I see they use butter in it so it’s not vegan. Sorry Adam.

From Craig: M&Ms – Growing up in my parents house, Mom always kept bowls of red and green M&Ms scattered around the house around Christmas. (For our Canadian readers, M&Ms are like your Smarties but a million and a half times better.) I carried the tradition over to my new place for my first Christmas on my own and it was fantastic. Easy access to M&Ms at all times with no one but myself to eat them? Yes please! Even after the Christmas season ended, and all the red and green M&Ms had made their way through my toilet and into your drinking water, I’ve kept the tradition alive by keeping original M&Ms on my coffee table at all times. Not only are they extremely delicious, but they add a splash of color to my drab earth toney living room!

From Mikey: So there was this thing called the Super Bowl on Sunday.  You might have heard of it.  Well anyway, before the game aired NBC ran a commercial/promo wishing everyone a Happy Super Bowl.  Sure this sounds like typical network TV fare for the most watched event of the year.  What made this one amazing was the fact that someone (most likely Tina Fey) got a bunch of the stars of NBC’s shows together to sing and dance to “Brotherhood of Man” from How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying.  The result…magic.  And GAY magic, which only happens during Madonna Super Bowls.

From Michelle M.: A federal appeals court ruled against California’s voter-approved ban on same-sex marriage (Prop 8) on Tuesday. Finally.

This week’s runners up: the state of Washington, The premier of Smash, slow cookers, painting bottles, Dance Moms (last weeks competition took place at East Islip High School!), Happy Endings, Archie Panjabi, The River, cat breading and hardcore gay pornography.

Science is Awesome!

After surviving days without power, I found a small pool of water where my ice cubes used to be.  Fearing a future warm beverage, I filled all 6 of my ice cube trays.  24 hours later, I opened the freezer and found something amazing: an ice spike protruding from one of my novelty ice cubes arrows!  How cool is this?!

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The short explanation is this: as the ice freezes fast under supercooled conditions, the surface can get covered except for a small hole. Water expands when it freezes. As freezing continues, the expanding ice under the surface forces the remaining water up through the hole and it freezes around the edge forming a hollow spike. Eventually, the whole thing freezes and the spike is left.

A slightly longer explanation: the form of the ice crystals depends on the cooling rate and hence on the degree of supercooling. Large supercooling favors sheets which rapidly cover the surface, with some sheets hanging down into the water like curtains. These crystalites tend to join at 60 degrees and leave triangular holes in the surface. Hence, spikes often have a triangular base. The sides of the spike are sometimes a continuation of pre-existing subsurface crystalites, and can extend from the surface at steep angles. [Source]

Oh my flying spaghetti monster!  Science is awesome!  Call me a nerd in the comments.

Have You Ever … In The Autumn?!

Autumn began last Friday, September 23rd. With its cool, crisp weather and stunning natural beauty, autumn is the perfect time of year to enjoy the great outdoors. From weekend trips to local recreation, opportunities for fall fun abound! What have you done in the autumn? Let’s find out.

The rules are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

Have you ever?!

1. Have you ever raked leaves?
2. Have you ever jumped into a pile of leaves?
3. Have you ever gone apple picking?
4. Have you ever consumed warm apple cider?
5. Have you ever made caramel apples?
6. Have you ever gone pumpkin picking?
7. Have you ever baked a pumpkin pie from scratch?
8. Have you ever planted mums in the autumn?
9. Have you ever purchased and decorated with gourds?
10. Have you ever hung Indian corn on your front door?
11. Have you ever made a scarecrow?
12. Have you ever decorated and filled a cornucopia?
13. Have you ever decorate the outside of your home with hay bales and/or corn stalks?
14. Have you ever driven more than an hour away just to see some beautiful fall foliage?
15. Have you ever gone for a hike in the autumn?
16. Have you ever gone camping in the autumn?
17. Have you ever warmed up next to a campfire in the autumn?
18. Have you ever posed for a photo in front of colorful fall foliage?
19. Have you ever gone to a haunted house?
20. Have you ever gone on a hayride?
21. Have you ever gone to a corn maze?
22. Have you ever gone to a harvest festival?
23. Have you ever dressed like a pilgrim?
24. Have you ever spent a Sunday watching football?
25. Have you ever debated whether or not “autumn” is a better word than “fall”?

Tell us your total and your exciting upcoming autumn plans in the comments.

Enlightening Adam: The Vagina

“Fear (of vaginas) always springs from ignorance.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Misunderstanding … arising from ignorance breeds fear, and fear remains the greatest enemy of peace (and vaginas). – Lester B. Pearson

Recently our very own Adam shared with us a mean, offensive and misguided post about everyone’s friend – the vagina. His obvious distaste and ignorance is distasteful and ignorant! Vaginas aren’t scary – I’m rather attached to mine. Why, the vagina is a miraculous body part which has been celebrated in fashion:

cinema:

the theater:

pop culture:

cuisine:

and art:

Without vaginas, none of us would even be here! Plus, they’re warm and
cozy and perfect to laze around in on a chilly day:

Also, the vagina is a hero! Not a zero.

So, while Adam is free (and encouraged!) to abstain from the ladyflower, I do hope that he will one day overcome his phobia. Or at least stop spewing intolerance and misinformation – such as the following:

1. They’re foreign! What is that thing? It looks like a mess of flappy skin with a hole in the middle. Ew!

They’re not foreign at all. Mine is a U.S. citizen who can vote, run up debt, make fun of Canada, become obese and start wars in the middle east. And Adam, you have a floppy thing with a hole in the middle, too. By the way, did you take biology? You’ve got a lot more than the vagina in your diagram.

2. What’s in there? Teeth? I saw that movie … it was quite eye-opening.

That’s just a myth. Like lightning never striking twice, gum hanging around in your stomach for seven years, Sasquatch or the Puntabuschlong (sorry Polt).

3. They’re smelly! I hear that they often smell of fish sticks and cabbage that has sat in the sun for a bit too long.

Uh, maybe if you never bathe. Mine smells like honeysuckle, cinnamon and baby unicorns.

4. Yeast infections! I’m not even sure what a yeast infection is … but ew! Wash that thing out once and a while!

Men get yeast infections too. I’ve never had one. But then, I don’t bake bread in my vagina.

5. Periods! Menstrual cycle? Yuck! Why is there blood dripping out of your vagina? If it’s bleeding, then maybe you should just let it die!

Oh, but periods are so much fun. Cramps, bloating, mood swings, fatigue…maybe you’re just jealous. Too bad they only last 38 years on average (more or less).

6. Babies come out of them! WTF! How does a freak’n baby fit through that hole? That’s disgusting!

It’s the circle of life Adam! Actually I’m surprised you don’t think babies come from storks or cabbage patches. And disgusting? Perhaps (and don’t forget painful).

7. The clitoris. Straight guys can’t find it … I don’t even know what it is! And upon research … is it just a tiny penis?

For some straight guys this is very true. And very sad. Tragic even.

8. Queefs? My dick never farts … why are there farts coming from your frontside?

Ask Oprah. She seems pretty excited about hers.

9. How do they work? Where does the penis go? Where does the pee come out of? Can Google Maps help me? Please?

Google Maps is not going to help. Try Wikipedia.

10. It’s not a penis! ‘Nuff said!

Can’t argue with that. But, like it or not, the vagina is here to stay. So perhaps we should stop looking at the vagina as an object of horror and instead, embrace this misunderstood bit of anatomy with open arms.

And who knows. Maybe someday Adam will learn to love pussy…