Time is running out to enter the 3rd Annual C&R Oscar Contest! Entries after Thursday, February 20th, 2013 at 11:59:59PM EST will not be accepted. If you haven’t entered yet … what are you waiting for?! Simply cast your ballot NOW and you’ll be entered to win this year’s prize: A Movie Watcher’s Prize Pack (valued at approx. $15!). The prize pack includes a Blu-Ray/DVD/Digital copy of M. Night Shyamalan’s hit film, The Last Airbender and an assortment of theater-inspired popcorn and candies! Tune in to watch the 85th Annual Academy Awards on February 24th, 2013.
How lazy are you? Let’s find out! You know the rules: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.
Have You Ever…
1. Have you ever worn your pajamas all day?
2. Have you ever waited in a long line at the drive-thru because you were too lazy to get out of the car and go inside?
3. Have you ever hit the snooze button more than 3 times?
4. Have you ever not voted because you were too lazy to read up on the candidates/issues?
5. Have you ever taken the elevator to the second floor?
6. Have you ever driven around looking for a close parking space when it would have been faster to just park farther away and walk?
7. Have you ever watched an infomercial because you were too lazy to turn the channel or turn off the TV?
8. Have you ever picked something up with your feet so you wouldn’t have to bend down?
9. Have you ever owned a Clapper?
10. Have you ever taken a whore’s bath because you were too lazy to shower?
11. Have you ever copied someone else’s homework?
12. Have you ever been too lazy to comment on C&R?
13. Have you ever eaten standing over the kitchen sink?
14. Have you ever asked for an extension on your income tax?
15. Have you ever thrown something away because you were too lazy to find a recycling bin? (Adam will never know).
16. Have you ever worn a baseball cap/hat because you were too lazy to wash/fix your hair?
17. Have you ever passed the vacuum over something several times instead of just bending down and picking it up?
18. Have you ever left just one swallow of juice/milk in the container and then put it back in the fridge for someone else to deal with?
19. Have you ever made a child fetch something for you?
20. Have you ever carried too many grocery bags because you were too lazy to make two trips?
21. Have you ever waited for the rain to wash your car?
22. Have you ever done the “sniff test” on your clothing because you were too lazy to do your laundry?
23. Have you ever gone more than 3 months without exercising?
24. Have you ever wasted an entire day surfing the Internet?
25. Have you ever had someone guest post or posted a YouTube video because you were too lazy to come up with a real post?
Now tell is your total in the comments!
Life is harsh. Sometimes the best thing to do is slip into a nice daydream. Here’s just some of the stuff I like to imagine while I’m stargazing, woolgathering or just plain avoiding reality.
My most frequent daydream is of winning the mega millions lottery.
But The Publisher’s Clearing House prize would do just fine. I’m not picky.
After I win my millions, Harry and I will travel. Some of the places I fantasize about going to are Fiji (or any tropical island, really), Santorini, Austria, Australia, The U.K., Copenhagen and Belgium (I hear they make a good french fry…).
I like to pretend that I’m a ballerina. And not just a ballerina, but a prima ballerina assoluta.
I also like to daydream that I’m a singer/songwriter with a multi-octave range.
Here I am performing at one of my sold out concerts.
One of my favorite sports is figure skating. I like to imagine what music I would skate to, what costumes I would wear and what it would feel like to win an Olympic gold medal (in my head I have also won the gold in equestrian events, diving, skiing and gymnastics).
Have you heard? I’m (supposed to be) writing a novel. Of course, I like to think it will be a #1 best selling book. It will, of course, be optioned for a movie. And I’ll have so much fun traveling around the country staying in 5 star hotels and doing book signings. Make sure you come out to see me when I come to a bookstore near you!
Naturally I’ll win a best screenplay Oscar when I adapt my book for film. I’ll receive a standing ovation for my humble and humorous, yet touching acceptance speech.
Once I win the Oscar, maybe they’ll give me a whack at writing that Wonder Woman movie I’ve been waiting for…
All my daydreams aren’t frivolous, though. Sometimes I pretend that I’ve come up with the cure for cancer, paralysis or any other number of illnesses/diseases. The Nobel prize, Time cover for Person of the Year, money and accolades will all be secondary to the knowledge that I am helping the human race.
Some of my daydreams are actually attainable. I often wish that my house was sparkling clean, my laundry and ironing is all done, the cupboards and refrigerator are filled with food, and I’m at my goal weight. Then I can completely relax while watching movies and reading a stack of books guilt-free.
So what do you like to daydream about? Flying to the moon? Scoring the game winning touchdown? Being the homecoming queen? Stealing Mr. Sombrero away from Adam? Let me know in comments!
There’s nothing wrong with being a dumbass (Adam). I have been a dumbass on several occasions. Why, I have done most of the things listed below – and several more to boot. Thankfully, the Have You Ever?! quizzes are only 25 items long. But enough about me – let’s find out who else will be brave enough to embrace their inner derp and share their dumbass score.
You know the rules: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.
1. Have you ever waited for the light to change at a stop sign?
2. Have you ever sent an email to the wrong person?
3. Have you ever forgotten someone’s name right after you were introduced to them?
4. Have you ever found out you were singing the wrong lyrics to a song?
5. Have you ever accidentally worn two different colored socks/shoes?
6. Have you ever locked yourself out of your home/car?
7. Have you ever forgotten to buy the one thing you went to the grocery store for?
8. Have you ever tripped over your own feet?
9. Have you ever rambled on and on on answering machine?
10. Have you ever typed “you’re” instead of “your” or “it’s” instead of “its” by mistake (even though you know the difference)?
11. Have you ever discovered your fly was open?
12. Have you ever discovered that you had food in your front teeth?
13. Have you ever forgotten why you walked into a room?
14. Have you ever left your tickets at home?
15. Have you ever clapped during a pause in a concert?
16. Have you ever thought something was broken, when really it wasn’t plugged in/turned on?
17. Have you ever forgotten your wallet/not had enough money to pay for your groceries?
18. Have you ever insisted you were right, only to find out later you were wrong?
19. Have you ever left your headlights on?
20. Have you ever set your alarm for pm instead of am?
21. Have you ever forgotten to go to an appointment?
22. Have you ever gotten up early/got ready for work/school on a day off?
23. Have you ever discovered you’ve been pronouncing a word incorrectly?
24. Have you ever forgotten that something was cooking in/on the stove?
25. Have you ever looked for glasses that were on top of your head?
Tell us you’re total in the comments!
A few weeks ago there were a few power transformer fires and failures in my area of New Jersey. As a result, myself and the residents of my neighborhood were faced with some time without our beloved electricity. These outages meant that we didn’t have TV, Internet, lights, refrigerators … any of the modern conveniences that civilized human beings have grown accustomed to. So what is there to do when the power goes out? Here’s 10 helpful suggestions…
1. Wait it out. The power is bound to come back soon. Try staring at a light bulb until it turns back on, repeatedly hitting the power button on your television’s remote control, or perhaps flipping a light switch up and down until to works.
2. Spend time with others. Instead of just waiting for the power to come back, why not spend time waiting with someone else? Have a conversation, play a game, tell stories … pay some face-time now so you don’t have to waste precious Internet time when the power comes back.
3. Read. Sick of all the together-time? Then how about some alone time? Grab that novel that you’ve always wanted to read, or that stack of magazines that you haven’t gotten to yet. Find a sunny window or bright candle and read.
4. Let the batteries run out. Sick of reading? Then power up your cell phone, laptop computer or iPod and enjoy your electronics until the batteries run out. You’ve probably got a few hours of juice left.
5. Organize and clean. This option is kind of a bummer, so you might as well just skip it.
6. Have Sex. Why clean when you can make a mess and squirt your bodily fluids all over a willing participant? You don’t need to have the lights on to have sex … sometimes it’s even better when you can’t see your partner.
7. Masturbate. If you’re not lucky enough to have sex with a mate or willing neighbor, then why not your hand? Granted, you’ll have to use your imagination or old-fashioned pornography (magazines) to get excited… Oh, and don’t forget — vibrators usually run on batteries.
8. Eat. When you’re done with sexitime (or self-sexitime), why not chow down on all that melting food in the fridge? Start with the junk food in the freezer (ice cream), and work your way through your cold storage. After all, it’s all just going to spoil anyway.
9. Get Drunk. Finished with the fridge? Head to the liquor cabinet next. The power has probably been out for hours now … so why not just drink the darkness away?
10. Go to sleep. You’re stuffed to the gills and completely drunk. Just go to sleep. Maybe the power will be back on when you wake up. If not? Then just repeat the process.