The entire C&Rmy has packed their bags and headed to Mars on an extended vacation.
We’ll see ya when we get back! Toodles!
Once again I tossed C&R’s Friday Five out to the C&Rmy, and here’s what threw back.
It’s your Friday Five!
Booze Cruise! The fourth annual family booze cruise is tonight! And since my family actually gets along really well it’s always a lot of fun! It combines all of lifes greatest pleasures. Food! Booze! Old people dancing to Lady Gaga! Here’s a picture from last year. It was raining and we were all soaked by the end of the night, but we still had a great time! –Craig
What made my week? Being mentioned TWICE in one C&R post: My name was uttered by a cute twinkie and my ass had a $100 bill sticking out of it. What could make ANY week better than that? –Polt
Scary Smash: The first episode of Written by a Kid. A kid’s monster story is brought to life by some people you might recognize. –Ryan
Watering my lawn. We came home from vacation and our front lawn is absolutely dead. We are in a drought situation here and the lawns are brown, brown, brown. Weirdly my fanatical neighbour (we share a tiny front lawn) has not been watering it. We have no water shortage so the city has actually started asking people to water their lawns so if there is fire there is less dry grass to go up. So last night I bought a new hose and today my landlord replaced my spigot in the garage and I watered my grass so if I keep it up every day I’ll have new green grass soon. I hope.
Honest to god, it looks like the grass on the left but with a smattering of green weeds. –Tam
Now that I’m all caught up with Breaking Bad (sadness), I need something new to fill the empty hours of my existence. Harry and I just started watching Dexter. We’re almost done with Season 1. So far it’s been entertaining. Here’s a quiz to find out which Dexter character you are. My results were Vince (which I don’t agree with – but, whatever). -Michelle
Here’s this week’s crowdsourced Friday Five!
Breaking Bad! How did I not know how great this show is?? AMC was having a marathon of Breaking Bad beginning with the first episode, so Harry and I decided to watch and see if we liked it. And it’s awesome! It’s been all Breaking Bad all the time around here. I’m going to be sad when we catch up and we only get one a week. So, if you’re not watching, you should start, yo. -Michelle M.
A Conversation With My 12 Year Old Self: 20th Anniversary Edition. This is great. I love the condescension to himself. -Ryan
Frank Ocean‘s Bad Religion on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. I just discovered his music last week, and I’m excited to see him promote his new album with a performance of an unambiguously gay song. -Ryan
Unfortunately WordPress doesn’t allow embedded video from the Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, so please watch the video here: http://www.latenightwithjimmyfallon.com/video/frank-ocean-bad-religion/1408858
One of my favorite things this week was air conditioning! Especially in the bedroom where, coupled with a fan, I was pleasantly cool and comfortable during sleep while the world outside cooked in overnight temps in the high 80s! God bless the inventor of air conditioning! -Polt
The Rockie Mountains. They are as amazing in real life as in pictures. Granted, not as much wildlife as I’d hoped, but still an amazing sight everyone should see once in a lifetime. The 2000km round trip drive is worth it. -Tam
Earlier this week, I got something that brightened my entire week: A post card from Vancouver! I LOVE getting postcards from people when they’re on vacation and Tam is great at doing this. Just like this time. Although when she sent me one from San Francisco, it had a half-nekked guy on it. NOT that I’m complaining about this one being just a scenic landscape. nope, not at all. -Polt
And finally a video that has been making the rounds this week, it’s Paris-based electro new wave pop band The Aikiu, performing Pieces of Gold. I’ll let the (NSFW?) video speak for itself! -Adam
Craig’s Runners Up: Anticipation for the season premiere of Breaking Bad this Sunday, Tara’s sexy vamp outfit on True Blood, air conditioning, Lord of the Rings LEGOs, Amy Poehler, and Hardcore gay pornography.
What’s Your Friday Five?
Last week Mr. Sombrero and I took a short vacation to Provincetown, Massachusetts.
Check out some of the photos and videos from our trip!
While innocently surfing the Internet, I stumbled upon some survey results from a few years ago. It seems that the reputable source, Condomania.com has determined a unique rankings of average penis size in the 50 states. Here’s Condomania’s results, ordered by largest to smallest penis:
By now you’ve scanned the list to see where you rank. Are you lucky enough to be living in well-endowed New Hampshire? Or maybe you’re living in Micropenisville, Wyoming? Most of the C&R frequent commenters living in the following 8 states … and here’s how we measure up:
The results turned out quite well for the presumably well-hung Mikey, Craig, Ty, Josh, Jere and the rest of our New York commenters. Unfortunately those of us in New Jersey (like myself) and Maine didn’t quite measure up. But as those of us who are a bit less than well endowed often claim: it’s not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean.
A final note … New Yorkers shouldn’t whip out their junk and celebrate too quickly. When Condomania.com ranked the 20 most populated U.S. cities by their average penis size, some new facts were revealed:
It’s good news for commenters like Harry, Ryan and VUBOQ, who live in or near San Diego and Washington D.C. It looks like they may out-measure a few of our New York City friends after all.
So how do you measure up? Are these lists accurate? And what city and state will you be visiting on your next vacation?
Late last week, Nathan contacted me with a post idea. It seems that he has a week off in July and has no clue what to do and where to go on vacation. Here are my ten suggestions:
Stay in Canada! Canada is a beautiful wasteland of ice and snow. Who wouldn’t want to spend some free time exploring an iceberg, making snowmen, adding unnecessary u’s to words, and napping inside of an igloo! The temperature never goes above freezing in Canada! Slap on your formal wear and have a ball!
Why not spend a week in wonderful Baghdad, Iraq! The largest city in Iraq is home to political unrest, massive troop withdrawals and startling civil rights violations. Who wouldn’t want to visit Baghdad? I hear that they have the best gay clubs in all of the Middle East!
How about a week in North Korea? Spend your time with the new supreme leader, Kim Jong-un! Try your hand at designing weapons of mass destruction, try on a huge selection of Kim Jong-il‘s high heeled shoes, and threaten to start World War III! And that’s all just in the first day!
How about a tour of Chernobyl, Ukraine? Tour the disintegrating nuclear sarcophagus, sample the local radioactive cuisine, and dance the night away with all the local mutants! You’ll leave Chernobyl with a “healthy” green glow that all your friends will be jealous of!
How about a lovely hike near Moab, Utah? While you’re there, make sure to get your arm stuck under a rock … and spend the next 127 hours practicing your survival skills!
Why not spend a week in sunny Afghanistan? Tour the expansive deserts (but watch out for IEDs!) or spend a few days hiding in a cave. For an extra few hundred bucks you can attend a actual terrorist training camp!
Spend a week exploring Antarctica! Antarctica, on average, is the coldest, driest, and windiest continent, and has the highest average elevation of all the continents. I can’t think of a better place to slap on some eyeliner and PAR-TAY!
What, you haven’t heard of Centralia, Pennsylvania? All properties in the borough were claimed under eminent domain by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania in 1992 (and all buildings therein were condemned), and Centralia’s ZIP code was revoked by the Post Office in 2002. Why? Because the mines below the surface are expected to be on fire for the next 250 years! Get yer tan on in Centralia!
None of those vacations are ticking your fancy? Then how about fabulous Somalia? Since the outbreak of the Somali Civil War in 1991 there has been no central government control over most of the country’s territory. But that can’t stop the bustling tourism business! Spend a day working as an actual Somali slumlord or reenact scenes Black Hawk Down!
If all else fails, you can always spend a week in the pink! Fat Betty’s anus is a warm and inviting … but be warned, when it’s poo-time, you’ll feel like you’re standing in the middle of the busiest highway in North America. She eats a lot, and yes, she poops a lot.
Those are my 10 best suggestions! Do you have a favorite, or maybe you have some ideas of your own? Help Nathan in the comments!
Here’s how we play: I’ll ask a question and someone will answer it in the comments section. Then they will ask the next question. The next person to comment will answer that question and then ask one of their own. And so on and so forth.
Me: Who is your favorite person?
Adam: Michelle M.!
What is your favorite food?
What is your favorite toy?
What is the last book you read?
Tam: Something M/M porny.
What is your favorite color?
Where was the last place you went on vacation?
If two people comment at the same time, the first commenter’s answer and question take precedence (and the slower commenter can always ask again later).
Also, feel free to answer any of the questions asked or have a discussions on the topic, but only the first person to reply gets to start a new thread with a follow up question. Make sense? God, I hope so. Here we go!