Tag Archives: Staples

Biggest C&R Loser 2013


Happy Valentine’s Day!  Welcome to the 7th week of Biggest C&R Loser 2013! This year we’ll be keeping all of the results and placings secret until the end of the contest. We’ll also be pooling our cash to award the 2013 winner the largest prize we’ve ever awarded … a whopping $40!  This week’s theme is always a Biggest C&R Loser favorite!  It’s time for: “What’s Inside Your Fridge?” Let’s see what our contestants are hiding behind the refrigerator door!  This week each of our contestants will show you a photo of their fridge and describe the contents. Here we go!



My fridge at home looks a lot like the one in this photo. Now that I’m leeching off my parents for practice teaching, they only have healthy things in the fridge. It should be good for me as long as I don’t splurge on my own! Which I won’t, because I’m broke.


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Ah yes, this week is the fridge picture. And here we go! Top shelf: OJ, milk, butter, Ginger ale; next shelf: eggs, carrots, celery, salsa; next shelf: Salad stuff, and meat (to make chili tonight); next shelf: Diet Coke, baking soda, two bottles of wine, one bottle of beer; In the lower drawer is an onion, for the chili; The door shelves contain condiments, then yogurt, the applesauce. Healthy, I know! But now I’m really looking forward to the chili tonight!



So. Our fridges. I tried to have it neater this time so Adam wouldn’t freak out. I only got groceries on Sunday so I’m surprised it’s not fuller (more full?). My freezer is stocked up and yes, that is two containers of Hagen Daas. But come one, it was $3 off, and it’s next to the box of Weight Watchers egg mcmuffins so I think that has a moderating effect on the ice-cream calories. I tend to fill up the freezer, then don’t buy anything until it empties out. Just restocked. Our top shelf is usually lunch stuff, pudding, juice, etc. There are some leftovers in there this time, I usually have an average number of fruits and veggies in the bottom and we have lots of juice and soda in the door along with various bottles of sauce, relish, whipped cream in a can, marinade, salad dressing, etc. Oh and that little drawer inside is chock full of cheese. (Sorry Michelle) So an average fridge? We take our lunch to work/school every day and we cook dinner at home 13 out of 14 days, so we usually have a lot of staples on hand to make it fast and easy.



Atop the fridge are several boxes of cereal, bottles of dishwasher detergent, and vitamins. Freezer is packed, mostly with frozen fruit, ice cube trays, and coffee. The main section of the fridge has waaaay too much stuff in it, with the bottom shelf dominated by a pot of broccoli-bean-and-lemon pasta, and various other containers of leftovers. Good luck finding what you’re looking for in there!


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In the freezer I have some frozen veggies and pitas. On the fridge door I have some condiments, seltzer, rice milk, canned fruit and water. In the fridge I have some Fresca, veggies, fake cheese, leftover taco “meat”, apples, hummus, peanut butter, tofu and tempeh. YUM! Now I want to go eat it all.

Michelle M.


We always have the following in the fridge: juice, salad dressings, condiments, fruits, veggies, Harry’s beer and my zinfandel (Beringer’s!), dill pickles (Adam’s favorite) and salsa. There are usually ingredients for a meal or leftovers from my cooking, but I didn’t cook this week (lazy!), so the fridge is a little bare. There are some leftover fajitas from the Mexican restaurant where we had dinner the other night. And the yogurt (yuck!) is Harry’s, he’s been making smoothies.


In the freezer: 1st drawer: frozen veggies. 2nd drawer: popsicles (Harry had a cold/sore throat), ice cream and vodka. I find when I freeze Thin Mints, the box will last longer than a day. That hummus is soooo garlicky – when Harry eats it, the house reeks of garlic. That’s why it was banished to the freezer (until I’m out of town or die). 3rd drawer: Lots of leftovers (in the back), some Lonely Man dinners and a big old bag of strawberries for Harry’s smoothies.



What’s in my fridge? Not a lot at all as you can see. There are a lot of condiments though…I’m on the all condiment diet you see. Lots of flavor…very little health.

Mr. Sombrero


Now that I look at this picture I realize how crammed, small, messy and badly-lit this fridge is. Maybe I should be on Food Hoarders, if there is a show like that. It does have good things in it. Lots of veggies and fruits, some protein and leftovers. Yummmmm!


Oh the jobs I’ve had…

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the average person will have very roughly 7-10 jobs in their lifetime.  So far I’ve held 8 jobs, and I’m only 30.  But as we’ve seen in the past, I tend to not really stick to the national averages.  Here’s my rundown:

Library (duration: approx. 3 years)
My first job was at my local county library.  I was a ‘Library Page’ which was a fancy way of saying that I was a book shelver.  For my first year I shelved books in the Adult Fiction section, and then I transferred into the Children’s Room.  The Children’s Room was the best section in the library — picture books were only alphabetized by the first letter of the last name, sometimes I got to help with story time crafts, and since our library also loaned on puzzles, I occasionally had an excuse to sit on my butt and count puzzle pieces.  It was actually a pretty great job, but at minimum wage and 10 hours a week, I wasn’t really raking in much dough.  Most exciting thing that ever happened: I helped the police identify a man that flashed his junk at a little girl.

Pet Store (duration: approx. 3 years)
My second job was at a pet store.  I did everything from scrape the algae off of fish tanks to running a cash register … and everything in between.  I made some great friends at the pet store, some which I still stay in touch with today.  I purchased and adopted quite a few pets while working there, and probably funneled quite a lot of the money that I earned right back into the store. Most exciting thing that ever happened: I called the cops when a man broke our front door because he was unhappy with our return policy.

Mail room (duration: 1 summer)
During my first summer break of college, my brother scored me a job at the company where he was working.  I worked as a mail room clerk, which meant that all I had to do was sign for packages, ship packages, and go on a few ‘mail runs’ around the building each day.  It was a super-easy job that allowed me plenty of time to goof off.  I remember that on one particularly slow day, I designed a gun that could shoot a ruler quite forcefully using only Styrofoam, rubber bands and a few binder clips.  Most exciting thing that ever happened: I used to look at porn on the office computer.

Front desk receptionist (duration: 1 summer)
I guess they liked me (and never checked my Internet browser history) because I was invited back to the same company the next summer.  But since they had hired full-time staff for the mail room, I took the only available job — as a front desk receptionist.  My only real job for eight hours a day was to check in visitors and say hello to employees as they passed my desk.  Booooring!  But the money was good, and I could spend most the day surfing the Internet (this time: not porn), so I didn’t mind too much. Most exciting thing that ever happened: I used to flirt with a hot (and completely oblivious) computer nerd.

Florist (duration: 1 day)
Yup, 1 day.  I was hired by a local florist to deliver flowers.  “You’ll never have to do anything but deliver flowers,” said the owner.  My first day I was tasked with sweeping, mopping, cleaning, dusting and throwing old, dead flowers into the dumpster.  And in addition to my nearly 8 hours of janitorial services, I was sent to deliver a single flower order — and the recipient wasn’t home.  I went home feeling exhausted and filthy.  That night I called the owner and told her that I wouldn’t be returning.  Needless to say that she wasn’t happy.  She still owes a paycheck for that single day of work.  (But she’s dead now, so I doubt I’ll ever collect it!) Most exciting thing that ever happened: I drove a van. (gimme a break, I was only there for a day!)

Toy Store (duration: approx. 9 months)
This was probably the most physical job I’ve ever had.  Aside from the usual tasks of running a register, stocking shelves, etc., I was also tasked with unloading trucks and constantly carrying stock up and down a flight of stairs.  After a summer of carrying heavy plastic swimming pools up and down stairs, I found myself with a few herniated discs in my back.  And after lots of medication and some physical therapy, I opted for back surgery early in December of that year.  Early the next January, I called to tell them that I had healed enough and could return to work, but was told “Oh, sorry, we must have forgotten to contact you.  All the part time employees were laid off on Christmas.”  Douche bags.  But I did walk away with gift wrapping and ribbon curling skills that will continue to prove my homosexuality to nonbelievers for years to come. Most exciting thing that ever happened: I worked there during September 11th.

Staples (approx. 3 years)
I worked at the Staples Copy Center during the end of my college tenure, and a bit beyond it.  I was awesome at the Copy Center — but that was never good enough for the asshole customers.  I was a supervisor when I finally quit that job, and left dozens of customers that were used to only letting me do their work.  No one else could do it right.  It didn’t help that all of my high school underlings were poorly paid idiots that would screw up every job that they touched.  Whenever I complain about my current job — I remember that it could be worse.  I could still be working at Staples. Most Exciting Thing That Ever Happened: Routinely getting sexually harassed by middle-aged women, who would argue over me amongst themselves.  “He’s my copy boy!” “No, he’s my copy boy!” Gross.

Newspaper (8+ years)
And finally, my current job as a graphic designer at a group of local newspapers.  It pays poorly and stresses me out too frequently, but I’ve learned a lot of skills that will hopefully find me a much better paying job in the future. Most Exciting Thing That Ever Happened: Hopefully it hasn’t happened yet.  Because so far it’s been a total snore.

Aside from those jobs, I also currently work as a freelance graphic artist and volunteer for four hours a week at a cat shelter.

So those are all my jobs … what have you done?  And can you top my total of 8?  And when is everything just going to be free like on Star Trek so I don’t have to work?!  I keep waiting … it’s not happening.