Breaking Bad! How did I not know how great this show is?? AMC was having a marathon of Breaking Bad beginning with the first episode, so Harry and I decided to watch and see if we liked it. And it’s awesome! It’s been all Breaking Bad all the time around here. I’m going to be sad when we catch up and we only get one a week. So, if you’re not watching, you should start, yo. -Michelle M.
A Conversation With My 12 Year Old Self: 20th Anniversary Edition. This is great. I love the condescension to himself. -Ryan
Frank Ocean‘s Bad Religion on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. I just discovered his music last week, and I’m excited to see him promote his new album with a performance of an unambiguously gay song. -Ryan
One of my favorite things this week was air conditioning! Especially in the bedroom where, coupled with a fan, I was pleasantly cool and comfortable during sleep while the world outside cooked in overnight temps in the high 80s! God bless the inventor of air conditioning! -Polt
The Rockie Mountains. They are as amazing in real life as in pictures. Granted, not as much wildlife as I’d hoped, but still an amazing sight everyone should see once in a lifetime. The 2000km round trip drive is worth it. -Tam
Earlier this week, I got something that brightened my entire week: A post card from Vancouver! I LOVE getting postcards from people when they’re on vacation and Tam is great at doing this. Just like this time. Although when she sent me one from San Francisco, it had a half-nekked guy on it. NOT that I’m complaining about this one being just a scenic landscape. nope, not at all. -Polt
And finally a video that has been making the rounds this week, it’s Paris-based electro new wave pop band The Aikiu, performing Pieces of Gold. I’ll let the (NSFW?) video speak for itself! -Adam
Craig’s Runners Up: Anticipation for the season premiere of Breaking Bad this Sunday, Tara’s sexy vamp outfit on True Blood, air conditioning, Lord of the Rings LEGOs, Amy Poehler, and Hardcore gay pornography.
Welcome to Cocky & Rude Fight Club! The rules to the game are simple. Each week we’ll introduce our fighters. We’ll do the leg work and help you analyze their strengths and weaknesses. Then we’ll put the results to vote. You’ll pick which combatant will decimate their opponent in the knock-down, drag-out brawl of Cocky & Rude Fight Club! Let’s meet this week’s fighters…
Members: Donnie Wahlberg, Danny Wood, Joey McIntyre, Jordan Knight, Jonathan Knight, Brian Littrell, Nick Carter, A. J. McLean, & Howie Dorough Current Location: Touring across the United States & Canada Relationship Status: Some of them are probably married
Occupation: boy band entertainers
Height & Weight: Varies
Hobbies: singing, dancing Major Cities on the current tour: Rosemont, Grand Rapids, Buffalo, Baltimore, Uncasville, Boston, Washington, D.C., Philly, Montreal, Toronto, East Rutherford, Pittsburg, Chicago, Memphis, Nashville, Atlanta, Houston, Dallas, San Antonio, Phoenix, L.A., San Jose, Vegas, Vancouver, Minneapolis, Kansas City, Tulsa, St. Louis, Orlando, Columbus, Cleveland, Atlantic City, Hershey, Ottawa, Hamilton, & London Hit Songs: “Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)“, “Quit Playing Games (With My Heart)“, “Hangin’ Tough“, “Please Don’t Go Girl“, etc. Hit Albums: New Kids on the Block (1986), Hangin’ Tough (1988), Step by Step (1990), Backstreet Boys (1996), Backstreet’s Back (1997), Millennium (1999), Unbreakable (2007), This Is Us (2009), etc. Official Website: http://www.nkotbsb.com/ Catch Phrase: One Night, One Stage, Once in a Lifetime.
NKOTBSB is the supergroup collaboration of the hit ’80s and ’90s boy-band groups New Kids On The Block and Backstreet Boys. The two groups first came together during an onstage performance of “I Want It That Way” at Radio City Music Hall in the summer of 2010. They are currently touring North America in hopes of reigniting the boy band fad in the United States. Secret weapons include: lots of hair gel, choreographed dance moves, stylized facial hair, entitled attitudes, a hoard of screaming middle-aged women and the sheer number of group members.
AKA / Alias: Isn’t VUBOQ enough? I mean, really …but if not, his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace
Date of Birth: the Best Day of the Year – St. Patrick’s Day!!! (What other holiday is solely about drinking?)
Place of Birth: Contrary to popular belief, I was not born in a manger. Current Residence: Silver Spring, MD Relationship Status: I am in a long-term open relationship with Seagram’s Gin (I’m free to drink other gins as long as I tell Mr. Seagram about it first. Currently, I’m having a little fling with a Beefeater). The great thing about gin is that you never have to worry about it disappearing for days, not returning text messages or phone calls or emails. It’s always there, in my freezer, waiting to be made into a yummy martini to make me happy. Yay! Occupation: Government/Military Contractor. GAH. That is so boring. Let’s make it “Government/Military Sparklefier” Height & Weight: Shorter than Craig. Heavier than Michelle M.
Hobbies: pottery (do you have a piece of my pottery? do you want one? so. much. pottery.), knitting, making infused vodkas Major Cities that you’ve visited: Internationally, London, Tokyo, Beijing, Taipei, Singapore, Bangkok, Berlin … Toronto in September. Yay for Canadia! Nationally, DeeCee, NYC, Dallas, San Diego, San Francisco, LA, Seattle, Las Vegas, DEEEEEEE-troit, Boston, Albuquerque (isn’t that a major city?), Atlanta, Philly … what exactly is a major city? Should these be all on the back of the VUBOQ World Tour t-shirt? Favorite Song: OMG. I have no idea. I am absolutely sure it is not a NKOTBSB song. And, while we’re on the subject, shouldn’t it be NKOTBBSB? Because otherwise it’s New Kids on the Back Street Boys -and while I’m sure that is fueling all sorts of fun m/m slash fiction- maybe they don’t Want it That Way? (Isn’t that one of their songs? Who knows?) Favorite Album: Ditto. I am really not all that into music. Well, not so into it that I can pick a favorite. Official Website: vuboq.blogspot.com Link it. Love it. Be it. Catch Phrase: None, that I know of. Favorite curse word: Fork
Everyone’s favorite acronym, VUBOQ (Vicious Unrepentant Bitter Old Queen), provided so much information that a bio is hardly necessary. Instead, here’s a list of his likes, dislikes and Secret Weapons, in his own words… Likes: martinis. pesto. dark chocolate. green. orange. Isabella. cute boys. my nook. Dislikes: beets. stupid people. people who stand on the left on the escalator. clueless tourists. people who walk too slow. metro cars with a/c that doesn’t work (hmm … can you tell what kind of commute home I had this evening? at least there were no beets involved). Secret Weapons: A few years ago, I fended off a mugger with my umbrella (Apparently, I was a 90-year-old grandmother in a former life). Also, back in the late 80s, one of my college friends was a NKOTB stalker, so she shared with me how to find the hotel they were staying in after concerts: The band always booked the entire top floor of a hotel. She would call every hotel in town and ask for a room on the top floor. If they were all booked, she would reserve a room on the floor below. HAHA! Take that (*hehe* Take That! *hehe*), NKOTB(B)SB! I know how to find your secret lair!
Who will win in the battle of NKOTBSB vs. VUBOQ? Both contestants have a whole lot of letters in their acronyms … but there can only be one winner. Will NKOTBSB’s member count be too much for VUBOQ to handle? Or will VUBOQ outsmart the boy band boys with his trusty old lady umbrella? We’re putting this no-holds-barred fight to a vote. The poll will be open for approximately 24 hours, and you may vote as many times as you want. That’s right — we’re not blocking repeat votes, so vote now and vote often for your favorite Cocky & Rude Fight Club opponent.
Check back on Sunday for the results!
Thanks to VUBOQ & Michelle M. for your assistance with this post!
Presidents are weird and magical creatures. That is why we have a federal holiday that celebrates and commemorates them. It was originally going to be called “Super Leader of the World Day,” but the superhero lobby successfully got Congress to pass the 1978 Hero Act, which limits the use of the word “super” to references of masked vigilantes and beings of extra-human capacity. This also lead to the renaming of “Super Vagina Birth Giver Day,” “Super Semen Supplier Day,” and “Super Man from Beyond the Grave.”
The very first president to be honor with this day was Boy George. His daring use of makeup, dreadlocks, and black hats inspired a generation of Americans to wear what they wanted to wear. His biggest impact was on Joan Cusack’s character in Working Girl. Ms. Cusack spent fifteen hours each day getting multiple layers of eye shadow applied to her eyes during the production of that movie. She has stated, “If not for Boy George’s invention of the rainbow brow, my character would have been done up like some old school marm.” Boy George’s enigmatic lyrics confound advanced scholars of pop music, but have undoubtedly inspired generations of poets like Maya Angelou and that other guy. Boy George also cut down a cherry tree to make a cherry pie when he was a child. History has shown that you don’t actually need to cut down the entire tree to make the pie, rather one needs only the fruit, but Boy George’s decision to tell the truth rather than lie to his mum, Queen Elizabeth II, is often lauded as a sign of integrity. Today we call that just plan stupid.
The other important presidents to honor on this day off are the ones with the weird names: Grover Cleveland, Millard Fillmore, and Bill Clinton. Grover Cleveland’s name is funny to say, but if repeated three times very quickly it will invoke a friendly spirit named Charlie. Charlie is very quick to point out that he has no relation to Grover Cleveland and he will ask you to contact the spiritual authorities to have his incantation changed to that of Rutherford B. Hayes, whom he feels has a more pleasant name for repetition. Millard Fillmore is of no relation to the music venue in San Francisco, because he is not now, nor has he ever been a homosexual. In fact, Fillmore is so non-homosexual he had regular heterosexual orgies on the front lawn of the White House a practice that was revived by our final honoree: William Jefferson Clinton. Clinton can’t help that he has such a bizarre name, but what he lost in name caché he did make up for in masculine prowess. Rumored to have a ten inch member, Clinton was a staunch supporter of a woman’s right to choose, even saying “if we don’t let women have abortions, I would have far more illegitimate kids than Henry VIII did.” Clinton is also said to have seduced thirty lesbians away from the homosexual lifestyle, which is a record for a man from Arkansas.
I hope you now know a little bit more about our presidents than you did yesterday, or the day before that, or the day before that even. You may now know far more about the presidents than they themselves actually know about themselves, but every word of this blog is verifiable. I had an extensive discussion with the homeless man who lives outside of my public library just last week and he told me all of these things were based upon books he stole from the library collection to use for toilet paper. If you don’t believe that he or I am telling the truth, you are turning your back on our growing problem of homelessness, which is not very presidential of you at all.
Today we will take a random walk down the rabbit hole of history. If you can pardon my mixed metaphor, I feel you might learn some interesting things about this particular day.
2006 United States population reaches 300 million people
1989 Earthquake in San Francisco (6.9) cancels 3rd game of World Series, kills 67
1988 31 reported dead as Ugandan jetliner crashes in fog near Rome
1982 U.S.S.R. performs nuclear test at Novaya Zemlya U.S.S.R.
1978 U.S.S.R. performs underground nuclear test
1973 5-mo oil embargo by Arab states against U.S. and Netherlands begins
1972 Chuck Berry’s “My Ding-a-ling,” is #1
1970 Anwar Sadat sworn in as president of Egypt
1967 “Hair” premieres on Broadway
1967 U.S.S.R. performs nuclear test at Semipalitinsk, Eastern Kazakhstan U.S.S.R.
1943 Liberators sink U-540 and U-631
1933 Albert Einstein arrives in U.S., a refugee from Nazi Germany
1919 Radio Corporation of America (RCA) created
1918 De Kooy airport in Netherlands opens
1918 Yugoslavia proclaims itself a republic
1877 Henry Morton Stanley reaches Boma during trip cross Africa
1876 Henry Morton Stanley’s reaches Lualaba River
1871 Great Britain annexes Griqualand South Africa
1829 Delaware River and Chesapeake Bay Canal formally opens
1808 Political rights of Jews suspended in Duchy of Warsaw
1707 German composer Johann S Bach marries his niece Maria Bach
1691 New royal charter for Massachusetts, now including Maine, Plymouth
1651 Future King Charles II flees from England
1492 Columbus sights isle of San Salvador (Watling Island, Bahamas)
1469 Crown prince Fernando of Aragon marries princess Isabella of Castilie
1415 Jewish autonomy in Palestine ends, as Raban Gamliel leaves office
1404 Cosma de’ Migliorati elected Pope Innocentius VII
1387 Swells convent Windesheim initiated
733 Battle at Poitiers: Charles Martel beats Abd al-Rachmans Omajjaden
532 Boniface II ends his reign as Catholic Pope