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Have You Ever … Gone Camping?!

National Camping Month was first observed in June of 2009, and helps to inspire Americans of all ages to go camping.  June is also the Obama Administration’s Great Outdoors Month, and on the 23rd of this month, families all over the United States will celebrate the Great American Backyard Campout.  Have you ever gone camping?  What have you done while camping?  Let’s find out!

The rules are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

Have You Ever?!

1. Have you ever gone camping?
2. Have you ever gone camping at a campground?
3. Have you ever gone camping in a backyard?
4. Have you ever gone camping in the wilderness?
5. Have you ever slept in a tent inside your home?
6. Have you ever slept outside under the stars?
7. Have you ever started a campfire?
8. Have you ever told scary stories around a campfire?
9. Have you ever sung camp songs around a campfire?
10. Have you ever cooked food over a campfire?
11. Have you ever made s’mores around a campfire?
12. Have you ever eaten beans right out of the can while camping?
13. Have you ever eaten fish you caught while camping?
14. Have you ever been awoken by wild animals outside your tent while camping?
15. Have you ever had to run away from wild animals while camping?
16. Have you ever pooped outside?
17. Have you ever had to use something other than toilet paper after pooping outside?
18. Have you ever camped outside during a thunderstorm?
19. Have you ever ended a camping trip early because you couldn’t handle it?
20. Have you ever been bitten by a snake while camping?
21. Have you ever drank alcohol while underage, while camping?
22. Have you ever smoked pot while camping?
23. Have you ever secretly masturbated while others were sleeping in your tent?
24. Have you ever participated in a circle jerk while camping?
25. Have you ever had sex in a tent?

Tell us your total in the comments!

Thanks to Craig for his help with this post!


Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3: Week 13

Our twelfth week is complete! Today our contestants celebrate twelve weeks into the cockiest and rudest weight loss competition evahhhh! It’s Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3!

BC&RL3 is almost over!  What are the contestants going to do after the contest ends?  Will they continue their diets or fall back into their old ways? Here’s what they had to say…


Mr. Sombrero
Ok I barely lost any weight but this contest opened my eyes and I realized how much I suck at it an need to take this whole weight-losing seriously. Since I always cram things last minute I hope that I can lose few more pounds by the end of this competition. I have few things lying around the house that can help me do that…


TwoPi
On the advice of my physician, I’ve quit caffeine completely. Next up: joining Weight Watchers online. Charles Barkley says I need to “learn to lose like a man”; I’m guessing he lost a bet or something, based on the photo above. Will WW push my weight loss past the 10% goal I set at the start of BC&RL3? Time will tell. I do know that I won’t end up looking like this photo though — Sir Charles has much better legs than I do.


Tam
Will I continue after this great contest is over? Yes. I’ve been a total slacker lately, but it’s always been there in the back of my mind, so it’s keeping me more honest than I might be otherwise. I have a trip to the UK in Sept. and losing some weight would be nice, so I think I’ll keep at it, even if I don’t have to check in every week. The way things were going before we started this, I would have been up as much as I’ve lost, so if nothing else, this brought my compulsive eating to a halt. I’ll keep slogging away. Congrats to Cupcake. Someday I shall be a cupcake, ’tis my fondest wish. (And I’m writing this before I know who wins, but I’m sure it’s Cupcake.)


Adam
Let’s face it, I’ve done horribly in this competition. But I’m going to change — I swear! Diet, exercise, willpower, and weight loss are all in my future! I hope…


Michelle M.
I’m about halfway to my goal, so I’m going to keep on dieting until I get there. Summer is coming and I want to fit into my shorts!


Ryan
I plan to continue after this, but I haven’t exactly been that diligent over the past few weeks. If I do my best to keep track of what I eat and make my exercise goals, I could hit my next weight goal sometime this summer. I don”t know if that will be the end because I’ve never been this lean in my life, so I have no idea where I want to end up. I think I might pick up running in the next couple of weeks. I’m at the point that walking longer doesn’t provide much of a challenge beyond finding the time.


Polt
This week, we’re to talk about Beyond BC&RL3. When this is over, I’ll not fall back into my old ways, cause I don’t want my doctor yelling at me. I got onto this diet I’m on because of her, and luckily it just happened to correspond with this competition. Weight loss, though, is only a secondary goal. My main goal is to get my sugar levels down. And that I’ll continue, hopefully, well after the contest. And in doing so, I’ll eventually end up all sleek, and svelte, and sexy-like. Just like this photo!


Mikey
The graph here is what I had hoped my weight loss would look like. It hasn’t yet, but I have started to lose weight again! Ty and I are continuing to two a few things to maximize our loss and minimize our waists: cooking healthier foods rather than doing the NYC thing of ordering in ALL THE TIME, substituting seltzer for tonic (don’t laugh…it works. I lost 5 lbs after making that small change), and trying to get more of the dreaded exercise.


And now the week’s results:

Stay tuned each Thursday for the stunning weight-loss success stories of our eight contestants. Who will win this year’s competition? Find out on May 31st … just in time for bikini season!

Who are you? FIND OUT!

Tam’s Twitter Adventures!

















Spring’s FINAL Piss Puddle Game!

It’s been quite a while since my last Piss Puddle game … and there’s actually a reason.  A month or so ago, Adam and I were shopping at our local fancy pet boutique (Walmart) and we decided that it was healthier for me and better for the environment to switch to a all-natural, corn-based kitty litter.  Sadly, my new litter does not leave very obvious piss puddles … so we assumed that the Piss Puddle game had run its course.  But then, Michelle M. kindly included my Piss Puddle on the Cocky & Rude bingo card.  What were we to do?  We couldn’t disappoint millions of Black Out Bingo players by never completing the card!

So together, we rooted around in the back of our supply cabinet and discovered that there was just enough of my old litter left over for one final puddle.  First Adam held me over my litter box and squeezed my hind-side.  As you would expect, I refused to piss.  Adam then shook me up and down until I scratched him and ran away.  Then he considered using his own urine … but he decided that it was “too uncivilized” — what a douche!  Finally I watched as he drew this final Piss Puddle with some water and a measuring cup.  What a stupid cheater!

You know the rules.  Tell me what you think this “Piss Puddle” looks like in the comments.  You better come up with something more creative than Adam was thinking when he drew that stupid dick-shaped puddle.

Bloggy Gift Exchange 2011!

This year’s Bloggy Gift Exchange featured 25 bloggy friends, 24 awesome gifts, 2 countries, lots of smiles, lots of sugar, a few tears, a pack of Magnum condoms, and tons and tons more. Thanks to everyone for making this year’s gift exchange a huge success! We’re truly a classy bunch, and here’s the proof:


To: Mush
From: Nathan

…here’s my awesome nerdy gifts from bassoonist Nathan! Yay! It’s a virulent rabies plush and a sciency Doctor Who disappearing TARDIS mug! This photo image came out just the way I wanted it. YES THAT’S RABIES ON MY HEAD AND I AM GLAD TO SEE YOU. COFFEE? SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM? RAAAAAAAAAAAABIEEEEEES!


To: Polt
From: Tam

Tam had my name and she sent me a book about the quirks and histories of comic books and also a Dallas Cowboys garden gnome. Only thing that coulda made the gift better was to have it delivered by a Speedo-clad Asian Twinkie with a hairthing. This is the photo of me enjoying them both. HUGS…


To: Adam
From: Polt

Santa Polt (and his award-winning ass) sent me a box full of the world’s two best things: plaid and purple. Thanks to Polt, I can be cozy and formal with this super-warm hat and fantastic tie. I plan to wear them both as I spend many hours each night drawing pictures of Craig getting peed on or amassing enormous lists of blog post tags. Maybe this tie will help me land a great new high-paying job in the new year? I’m totally going to wear them both on my lumberjack interview next week! Fingers crossed that it pays well!


To: Mikey
From: FDot

FDot sent me this amazing life size TARDIS. Along with my dancing monkey fez, I think I make a very convincing Doctor. I also think I should use my TARDIS to go back in time and prevent myself from eating whatever it is that made me look so fat in this photo. I honestly do not care if doing so destroys the fabric of time.


To: Ty
From: VUBOQ

VUBOQ made me a beautiful mug and bowl. He also got me TWO varieties of Reese’s. I could only assume he wanted me to use it all to make a nutritious holiday breakfast.


To: Craig
From: Ty


My gift from Ty was titled Craig’s Sex-Mas Adventure! It was a three step process. First I was told that the clothes make the man, so he gave me this shirt and told me to put it on, then peel it off sexily. then he told me to spritz myself with cologne and dream of Cumming (Alan, that is), and finally I was taught that chocolate is a well known aphrodisiac and to sample these delicious chocolates to get in the mood. Once I finished the chocolates I was met with a horrific sight too reprehensible for words and I lost my hard-on immediately. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get it up again. Merry Christmas to me, I guess.


To: Mel
From: Ryan


I got a phenomenally well-packed box from Ryan consisting of two types of cookies and a Christmas mix CD. The cookies were all painstakingly wrapped to arrive intact. I was singularly impressed, even though I’d have happily eaten crumbs.


To: Tam
From: Mr. Sombrero


My bloggy gift came from the wonderful Mr. Sombrero in “Jersey”. It was full of all kind of delightful things to eat from many different places. There was cherry jam from Croatia (which I ate on my bagel Christmas morning and it was delish), French cookies, British tea, chocolate from lots of place including some kind of potato chocolate thing from Idaho. 0_0 Chocolate poker chips and chocolate from Dylans, a gingerbread cookie that looks like a NYC cab, and a lolly with my initial on it. Now that I’ve taken the picture I’m looking forward to trying them all. Thanks so much for the fun foods, none of which I’ve tried before.


To: Kristen “The Kid”
From: Talita


So Talita was my secret Santa which was wonderful because everything she gave me was perfect! Included in my “care package” was two perfectly scented candles (cranberry pear Bellini and candied sugar plum), some nail polish, peppermint foot cream from Lush, spider man head phones (which I squealed over they were wonderful), some hot chocolate, tea, soap, some lip products and a cookie! It was wonderful, I love everything so much 😀


To: Jere
From: David P.


Here are photos of my gifts from David P. I would post pictures of myself enjoying the gifts like the booze and condoms (and I did enjoy them – I’ve been a naughty boy this holiday), but I’m afraid that you would use it as often as you use that picture of Polt’s ass. Sorry. The comic book magnet has a wonder woman costume malfunction joke that’s lost on me, but the chocolate covered stuff was yummy.

Note: the post-its in the photo are – alcohol: “because you like BOOZE”; chocolate: “because you like things covered in CHOCOLATE”; magnet – “because you are a comic book GEEK”; condoms – “because you have big FEET”


To: Michelle M.
From: Mikey


My gift came from Mikey. He sent two BIG bags of cookies, and a whole bunch of Hershey’s kisses. They were delicious and didn’t last long. And I should get major points for sharing with Harry. I also received these amazing Wonder Woman socks (complete with capes), perfect for fighting crime, reading in bed, attending a live action Wonder Woman movie, etc. I love(d) all my gifts – Thank you Mikey!!


To: John
From: Craig

I received my gifts from none other than Mr. Puntabulous himself: Craig! Here you can see the Christmas bunnies looking at the gifts Craig sent (and eyeing the Alfa-carrots). Craig sent me a card of bunnies avoiding the ark; which is part of a series on bunny deaths; it totally made me laugh! He sent me a cd of new Craig Christmas music. And piece de résistance: a dancing monkey t-shirt and pants.

I believe that this is Craig’s way of marking me as king of the dancing monkeys. Do not fear, I will be a benevolent ruler…All shall love me and DISPAIR!!!

Thanks Craig! I love my gifts! The carrots were tasty, the music fun and the pjs comfortable.


To: Ryan
From: Mush

I got this awesome package from Mush. It included two CDs (buddha-bar VIII by Sam Popat and Live in Las Vegas by Santa Fe and The Fat City Horns), Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood, and the Animatrix DVD. I haven’t had much of a chance to listen to the CDs because I’ve been inundated with new music and been busy with non-music listening activities, but what I’ve heard so far has me excited. It’s outside my usual genres, which is the hardest to find good new music. I’m also looking forward to reading the book. I really enjoyed Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale and was intending to explore her other work. I’m also looking forward to watching the collection of shorts exploring the time before the Matrix movies.


To: TwoPi
From: Jere

My Bloggy Gift giver was Jere. He gave me an Elvis beanie baby (from the Elvis Museum in Las Vegas!), and set me up with the ultimate in New Year’s Eve eye-wear for Times Square, or the local equivalent, a gathering of friends assessing Dick Clark’s ability to count backwards. Cajun chefs have their holy trinity of bell peppers, onions, and celery — for TwoPi, the holy trinity is Elvis, Vegas, and Purple — and no day can match their over-the-top glories better than New Year’s Eve! Fantastic!


To: Heather (Xi)
From: Justin

I got the most fabulous present from Justin: a replica of one of the original Education Monkey multiplication tools, invented in 1916 and named after Consul the performing monkey. You move the feet so that they point to two numbers at the bottom, and then the hands [yes, hands — stop giggling] point to the product. I’ve never heard of this before, or seen anything like it, which makes it especially exciting. Thank you thank you thank you!


To: Chris D.
From: Michelle M.


Michelle M. gave me an amazing assortment of gifts! She gave me a candy cane, Charlie Brown Christmas CD, Peppermint Bark, a vintage Christmas postcard (from 1911, it is like a perfect little time capsule from a bygone era!), a Marcel the Shell with Shoes on book (I LOVE IT!), AND…… a Marcel the Shell with Shoes on figure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This made me smile a whole lot! Michelle M. is an amazing gift giver! 🙂


To: Nathan
From: Chris D.

For my present I received, not one, but two beginner Japanese books! This was an amazing present for me because I’m hoping to actually go to Japan next year. Thanks so much to Chris for my fantastic gift. He even made me a little homemade ornament for the Christmas tree at home! An excellent gift.


To: Mr. Sombrero
From: Kristen “The Kid”

My gift from Santa “The Kid” Kristen was amaaaahzing and layered to satisfy all the senses!  Not only did it include the best thing the Western civilization came up with – a box of Holiday edition Smarties (the Canadian ones, not the US kind; think M&M’s in a harder shell) – but also, and this is the even more awesome, a donation of a mango tree for school kids in Rwanda. Now that’s a global gift that keeps on giving. And to signify the donation, my gift also included a box of dried mangoes, yummmmmm… So Kristen, all I gotta say is… Urakooooze (that’s thank you in Rwandan.

Tam and Kristen also included a tin of delicious homemade vegan gingerbread cookies for me to share with Adam!  Here are a few of our favorites:


To: VUBOQ
From: Adam


Photo One. This is me enjoying one of my many gifts from Adam – a book! Hot Guys and Baby Animals. Hot! Cute! Fun!

Photo Two. This is me …um… enjoying another gift from Adam – vegan beef jerky (tequila lime flavor). Delicious! (OK. Not really delicious. In fact, it was kind of gross).

Unfortunately, I don’t have a photo of me getting the taste of tequila lime vegan beef jerky out of my mouth with some truly yummerz dark chocolate! MMmmmm. Chocolate. I also don’t have photos of me taking a fun Unicorn Lavender Lotus Bubble Bath. Nor gleefully stamping “Who Cares” on all the crap my co-workers produce at work. But, those were other gifts from Adam that I totes *heart*.


To: David P.
From: Miley Cyrus & Enrico

I was the lucky recipient of a package hand-delivered by the amazingly talented Miley Cyrus, although what she was doing in Crown Heights is anyone’s guess. Oddly enough, inside the package were an assortment of gifts by the equally, if not more, amazing and talented but non-poll-dancing Enrico! As you can see, I was provided with two boxes of high-end macaroni and cheese mixes that I will be getting fat from shortly. Also among the loot were three Pulitzer prize-winning books (I’ve read one of them, but giving me something I can re-gift is a gift in and of itself) and I will definitely enjoy reading the other two over the next few months. And lastly, the pièce de résistance is the pack of nude male playing cards that will add a certain something special to my future games of solitaire. If you zoom into the photo, you can also make out the clever notes that were included with each present. Thank you so much, Miley! Oh, and you too, Enrico!


To: Enrico
From: John

My secret Santa got me two amazing presents! Knowing I’m a huge Miyazaki lover, he got me this Totoro thingy that I’m hanging on my wall as soon as I get a hammer. I’ve been meaning to read John Updike’s Rabbit, Run for years now, and now I can, since he also got me the novel and its first sequel, Rabbit Redux. I LOVE BOOKS AND TOTORO. Thanks John! After Michelle, you’re the best!!


To: Talita
From: Mel

I received amazing blueberry Jam, that was so delicious. A soy pine candle that smelled so good, I love soy candles they burn longer then regular candles. This candle added just the right amount of holidays to my house without being over whelming. My gift came packaged in awesome Christmas Tin!! Thanks for the great gifts Mel!!


To: FDot
From: Heather

I arrived home from my trip to Colorado to find a whole package of goodies awaiting me from Heather. Herein pictured are the goodies. 1 Post Office Priority Mail Box, no doubt chosen to hold everything else. 1 piece of Milk Chocolate, already eaten. 1 book of “Where Are They Buried?”, already perused and used to capture pictures for the next round of ‘Guess that Grave!”. 1 Electronic Rubik’s Cube Puzzle, opened and attempted. 1 packet of Punch Balloons, of which one has been inflated and punched repeatedly to relieve frustration from failing at the Rubik’s Cube puzzle. An extremely successful box of Christmas gifts, covering all I hoped for and making me very happy, as evidenced by the large smile I have on my face.


To: Justin
From: M Nico

If I’m looking a bit pouty it’s because Bloggy Santa left me empty handed this year. Don’t worry unduly I’m in intensive therapy for the *sniff* trauma *sob* No really I’ll be *chokes up* fine 😦


To: M Nico
From:TwoPi

M Nico has refused all attempts at communication and presumably did not send a gift to Justin.  Many thanks to TwoPi for generously sending a gift to M Nico!! M Nico, we hope that you’re okay!!!



Once again, thanks to everyone for your participation in the 2011 Bloggy Gift Exchange!


Can’t get enough of our gift exchanging? Jump over to Josh Is Trashy to see our exchanges from 2010 and 2009.