Tag Archives: Park

Have You Ever… Been Lazy?!

How lazy are you? Let’s find out!  You know the rules: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

Have You Ever…

1. Have you ever worn your pajamas all day?
2. Have you ever waited in a long line at the drive-thru because you were too lazy to get out of the car and go inside?
3. Have you ever hit the snooze button more than 3 times?
4. Have you ever not voted because you were too lazy to read up on the candidates/issues?
5. Have you ever taken the elevator to the second floor?
6. Have you ever driven around looking for a close parking space when it would have been faster to just park farther away and walk?
7. Have you ever watched an infomercial because you were too lazy to turn the channel or turn off the TV?
8. Have you ever picked something up with your feet so you wouldn’t have to bend down?
9. Have you ever owned a Clapper?
10. Have you ever taken a whore’s bath because you were too lazy to shower?
11. Have you ever copied someone else’s homework?
12. Have you ever been too lazy to comment on C&R?
13. Have you ever eaten standing over the kitchen sink?
14. Have you ever asked for an extension on your income tax?
15. Have you ever thrown something away because you were too lazy to find a recycling bin? (Adam will never know).
16. Have you ever worn a baseball cap/hat because you were too lazy to wash/fix your hair?
17. Have you ever passed the vacuum over something several times instead of just bending down and picking it up?
18. Have you ever left just one swallow of juice/milk in the container and then put it back in the fridge for someone else to deal with?
19. Have you ever made a child fetch something for you?
20. Have you ever carried too many grocery bags because you were too lazy to make two trips?
21. Have you ever waited for the rain to wash your car?
22. Have you ever done the “sniff test” on your clothing because you were too lazy to do your laundry?
23. Have you ever gone more than 3 months without exercising?
24. Have you ever wasted an entire day surfing the Internet?
25. Have you ever had someone guest post or posted a YouTube video because you were too lazy to come up with a real post?

Now tell is your total in the comments!


The Adventures of 8-bit Adam

Montreal Vacation: Part 2

Were you bored to shit after reading my Montreal Vacation: Part 1 post yesterday?  Then you’re crap outa luck!
Cuz here’s part 2.  Bam!  In the face!

Between Part 1 and Part 2, my arm grew back.  BUT NOT FOR LONG!  Because this paper tiger bit it the fuck off again.  Montreal was not a lucky place for arms, lemme tell ya.

Wondering where I managed to find a big paper tiger?  It was at the Montreal Botanical Gardens Chinese Lantern exhibit. This is the 19th edition of The Magic of Lanterns at the Chinese Garden. This year’s theme pays tribute to China’s first Emperor, Qin Shi Huangdi and his impressive cavalry.

The Chinese architecture is beeeeeeutiful!

This banzai tree (part of the banzai garden in the Japanese Garden) is 270 years old!
That’s almost twice as old as Polt!  Holy CRAP that’s old!

After the Botanical Gardens, Mr. Sombrero and I went to the Montreal Insectarium.
Here’s a photo of two beetles do’n it.

People eat that?  Eww! Gross!
… I was talking about the chocolate …
Cuz I’m an ultra vegetarian.  Right … I was talking about the chocolate.

The next day we took a day trip to Quebec City.  It’s a wonder we made it there, because I have no idea what the hell a white line next to a stop light means.

Old Quebec City is the only walled city in North America and is is the capital of the Canadian province of Quebec.

The city’s most famous landmark is the Château Frontenac, a hotel which dominates the skyline.

Here I am, standing in front of it and looking like a dumbass.

And here I am pretending that I’m looking at something exciting.

Here’s the two of us pretending that we’re cute.*

Here’s a sign that discourages Michael Jackson from tossing his baby over a ledge.

The next day we explored more of Montreal’s parks, tourist traps and strip clubs. Here’s a friendly white squirrel that I found at a La Fontaine Park.

Montreal is a very clean city — thanks to these amazing Gonzo-nosed golf cart vacuums.

Mr. Sombrero sampled some of the local artisan ice cream in a homemade cone.
Is this NOT the cutest photo you’ve EVER seen??

And then we went home to the boring United States of America.  Within 3 days, we both came down with upper respiratory infections.  Woohoo!

*We don’t actually have to pretend — we know that we’re cute.

Have You Ever … Had Sex?!

Sex, copulation, coupling, fornication, mating, relations, banging, screwing, shagging, hanky panky, funny business, making whoopee … and fu¢k!ng. The Kinsey Institute says that “By their late teenage years, at least 3/4 of all men and women have had intercourse, and more than 2/3 of all sexually experienced teens have had 2 or more partners.”  And since most of us have done the deed by now … today we’re going to talk about where we’ve done it.  You know the rules: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

Have You Ever?!

1. Have you ever had sex?
2. Have you ever had sex in a bed?
3. Have you ever had sex in a hotel room?
4. Have you ever had sex on the floor?
5. Have you ever had sex in a kitchen?
6. Have you ever had sex in a closet?
7. Have you ever had sex in a bathroom?
8. Have you ever had sex in a basement?
9. Have you ever had sex in an attic?
10. Have you ever had sex in an office?
11. Have you ever had sex in a friend’s house?
12. Have you ever had sex in a store?
13. Have you ever had sex in a movie theater?
14. Have you ever had sex at an amusement park?
15. Have you ever had sex at a bar?
16. Have you ever had sex in a restaurant?
17. Have you ever had sex in a school?
18. Have you ever had sex in a swimming pool?
19. Have you ever had sex on a beach?
20. Have you ever had sex in a tent?
21. Have you ever had sex outside?
22. Have you ever had sex in a car?
23. Have you ever had sex on a boat?
24. Have you ever had sex on a bus?
25. Have you ever had sex in an airplane?
26. Have you ever had sex in a camper or RV?
27. Have you ever had sex on a train?
28. Have you ever had sex at a park?
29. Have you ever had sex in a parking lot?
30. Have you ever had sex in the sleeper cab of an 18-wheeler truck?

Tell us the truth.  Come all over the place clean.
Tell us your total in the comments!

A Dream of Running, Shouting, Masons & Death

I will preempt my dream-tale by swearing to you that I did not eat or drink alcohol within a couple hours of bedtime, nor did I watch Lost, Alice in Wonderland or any other Disney movies.  All I watched last night was Glee, and I went to bed shortly afterward.

My dream began in the very large parking lot of a Wawa convenience store (in real life, Wawas never have large parking lots).  I was hurrying to meet my father at a nearby location, but chose to park at Wawa and walk to him because it was easier and more convenient for me.  However, every time I put my car into the park position, I’d start to get out and my car would slowly roll.  I’d jump back in, make sure it was in park, and try again.  This happened a few times, but finally it felt like it would stay still when I used the emergency brake.  I hopped out of the car and started to jog towards where I’d meet my father.  When I was about 100 feet away, my car suddenly sped in reverse across the parking lot, nearly hitting some girl along the way, and slammed into a dumpster.

I ran to my car and was confronted by the girl.  She screamed and yelled at me, and I was annoyed that she was acting like such a bitch.  After all, my car hadn’t hit her, GET OVER IT!  She finished her bitchy scream-fest and left.  I tried to move my crumpled car, but it was jammed against the dumpster.  I decided that I’d get my dad to help me, so I left it behind to go find him.

I found him in a nearby parking deck (what’s with all the parking lots, and why couldn’t I just park there?) and as I approached him, I realized that his clothes were all tattered and hanging off of him.  He was unconcerned about his clothing and about my car, and hurried me inside of an old church-like building.

Inside, everything was covered in glossy, dark stained wood.  The place seemed old, important, and steeped in history.  My dad mumbled something that I don’t remember, and shoved me into a tiny closet or confession booth-like room.  I was confused, but trusted him.  Filling most of the small floor was a circular platform that began to rotate.  As I stood on it, I began to spin.  Through the crack around the door and around the spinning platform, there was a glowing light that became more intense as I spun faster.  After just a few seconds I stopped spinning and the light went away.

The door opened itself, and I walked out into a different room.  I was aware that I had traveled to Washington D.C.  The room was cluttered with iconography and artifacts from many different religions.  What drew my attention the most was a large checkered board in the center of the room that was covered with dozens of miniature deity figurines from every religion.

A woman startled me as she began to shout.  She was furious that I had used the “Masonic Transportation Device” because I was not a Mason.  By using it, I would throw off the configuration of the ancient device, and they would no longer be able to predict the destination of travelers.  I remember thinking that it worked like a Stargate, but just on Earth.  She was so angry and I feared that she would hurt me, so I ran from her.

Through the jungle (?) of Washington D.C. I ran, faster and faster.  As I ran, I decided that it was stupid to run from her.  I was bigger than her and I was sure that I could overpower her in a fight.  We both turned around and I started to chase her.  Suddenly I wanted nothing more but to kill her, so I grabbed a spear and hurled it into her eye.

It hit her, and she fell to the ground.  On her back, she died very quickly.  Suddenly she began to shrink, and the spear shrunk with her.  She became very small and transformed into a small frog.  The dead frog laid there before me with the tiny spear sticking out of its eye.  I looked down at it and felt disappointed and confused.

Then I woke up.