Tag Archives: novel

Stuff I daydream about.

Life is harsh. Sometimes the best thing to do is slip into a nice daydream. Here’s just some of the stuff I like to imagine while I’m stargazing, woolgathering or just plain avoiding reality.

My most frequent daydream is of winning the mega millions lottery.
But The Publisher’s Clearing House prize would do just fine. I’m not picky.

After I win my millions, Harry and I will travel. Some of the places I fantasize about going to are Fiji (or any tropical island, really), Santorini, Austria, Australia, The U.K., Copenhagen and Belgium (I hear they make a good french fry…).

I like to pretend that I’m a ballerina. And not just a ballerina, but a prima ballerina assoluta.

I also like to daydream that I’m a singer/songwriter with a multi-octave range.
Here I am performing at one of my sold out concerts.

One of my favorite sports is figure skating. I like to imagine what music I would skate to, what costumes I would wear and what it would feel like to win an Olympic gold medal (in my head I have also won the gold in equestrian events, diving, skiing and gymnastics).

Have you heard? I’m (supposed to be) writing a novel. Of course, I like to think it will be a #1 best selling book. It will, of course, be optioned for a movie. And I’ll have so much fun traveling around the country staying in 5 star hotels and doing book signings. Make sure you come out to see me when I come to a bookstore near you!

Naturally I’ll win a best screenplay Oscar when I adapt my book for film. I’ll receive a standing ovation for my humble and humorous, yet touching acceptance speech.

Once I win the Oscar, maybe they’ll give me a whack at writing that Wonder Woman movie I’ve been waiting for…

All my daydreams aren’t frivolous, though. Sometimes I pretend that I’ve come up with the cure for cancer, paralysis or any other number of illnesses/diseases. The Nobel prize, Time cover for Person of the Year, money and accolades will all be secondary to the knowledge that I am helping the human race.

Some of my daydreams are actually attainable. I often wish that my house was sparkling clean, my laundry and ironing is all done, the cupboards and refrigerator are filled with food, and I’m at my goal weight. Then I can completely relax while watching movies and reading a stack of books guilt-free.

So what do you like to daydream about? Flying to the moon? Scoring the game winning touchdown? Being the homecoming queen? Stealing Mr. Sombrero away from Adam? Let me know in comments!


My 2012 Resolutions

Now that 2011 is drawing to a close, it’s time to make resolutions for 2012! Now, I could make my usual resolutions – lose weight, exercise, finish that novel, go back to school… but why bother. Word is it’s the end of days! So I’m going to live large and make this year count. Here are my 2012 resolutions:

January – I’m going to Disney World!

February – I’m going to eat VATS of mashed potatoes and gravy.

March – I resolve to stay in bed, read books, watch DVDs and eat tons of junk food.

April – I’ve always wanted to drive across country, and this is the year I’m going to do it.
I’ll make sure to see all my bloggy friends in between trips to see the largest ball of twine,
carhenge and big holes in the ground.

May – I’m going to hang out in the sewers with Britney and keep on dancing til the world ends.

June – On second thought, who wants to hang out in a stinky sewer? Ever since watching
The Love Boat
, I’ve always wanted to go on a cruise. I plan to eat, drink, read,
lay out at the pool, and eat and drink some more.

July – I resolve to island hop, enjoy tropical drinks and work on my skin cancer.

August – La Tomatina! Buñol, Spain has a huge tomato fight every year. I am totally there.

September – I’m going to hang out in Santorini, Greece. Soaking up the sun and eating.

But now that I think about it, I have no idea how the world is going to end. Maybe it won’t
be complete devastation from a pandemic, solar flares, a black hole or asteroid collision.
Maybe it will be a robot uprising, the rapture, or even worse – Zombies!

Maybe I better rethink my resolutions in case I’m stuck on this miserable,
god forsaken, zombie-ridden planet.

October – I better get in fighting shape, so I resolve to lose weight and exercise. sigh.

November – Since I’ll be stockpiling weapons, I better learn how to use them.

December – Several trips to Costco will be in order so I can fill up my hidden
bunker by the lake in the mountains. Bring it on zombies.

So there you have it. My 2012 resolutions. What are your resolutions?
Are you ready for the zombie apocalypse? Let me know in the comments!

The Cocky Chronicles 1.08

Episode 1.01 | Episode 1.02 | Episode 1.03 | Episode 1.04 | Episode 1.05 | Episode 1.06 | Episode 1.07

For more adventures of Super Viagra & Vagina Girl, go to Puntabulous.com

10 Things To Do When The Power Goes Out

A few weeks ago there were a few power transformer fires and failures in my area of New Jersey.  As a result, myself and the residents of my neighborhood were faced with some time without our beloved electricity.  These outages meant that we didn’t have TV, Internet, lights, refrigerators … any of the modern conveniences that civilized human beings have grown accustomed to.  So what is there to do when the power goes out?  Here’s 10 helpful suggestions…

1. Wait it out. The power is bound to come back soon.  Try staring at a light bulb until it turns back on, repeatedly hitting the power button on your television’s remote control, or perhaps flipping a light switch up and down until to works.

2. Spend time with others. Instead of just waiting for the power to come back, why not spend time waiting with someone else?  Have a conversation, play a game, tell stories … pay some face-time now so you don’t have to waste precious Internet time when the power comes back.

3. Read. Sick of all the together-time?  Then how about some alone time?  Grab that novel that you’ve always wanted to read, or that stack of magazines that you haven’t gotten to yet.  Find a sunny window or bright candle and read.

4. Let the batteries run out. Sick of reading?  Then power up your cell phone, laptop computer or iPod and enjoy your electronics until the batteries run out.  You’ve probably got a few hours of juice left.

5. Organize and clean. This option is kind of a bummer, so you might as well just skip it.

6. Have Sex.  Why clean when you can make a mess and squirt your bodily fluids all over a willing participant?  You don’t need to have the lights on to have sex … sometimes it’s even better when you can’t see your partner.

7. Masturbate. If you’re not lucky enough to have sex with a mate or willing neighbor, then why not your hand?  Granted, you’ll have to use your imagination or old-fashioned pornography (magazines) to get excited…  Oh, and don’t forget — vibrators usually run on batteries.

8. Eat. When you’re done with sexitime (or self-sexitime), why not chow down on all that melting food in the fridge?  Start with the junk food in the freezer (ice cream), and work your way through your cold storage.  After all, it’s all just going to spoil anyway.

9. Get Drunk. Finished with the fridge?  Head to the liquor cabinet next.  The power has probably been out for hours now … so why not just drink the darkness away?

10. Go to sleep. You’re stuffed to the gills and completely drunk.  Just go to sleep.  Maybe the power will be back on when you wake up.  If not?  Then just repeat the process.