Tag Archives: movie theater

Have You Ever … Had Poor Etiquette?!

How are you celebrating National Etiquette Week (May 14th – May 18th)?  Have you been kind to everyone in your life … even those smelly strangers?  Is your life bursting at the seams with love, respect and good manners?  Or maybe you’re a awful, nasty c-bag to everyone in your life.  Either way, we’re about to find out!

The rules are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

Have You Ever?!

1. Have you ever been late?
2. Have you ever forgotten to introduce a date, friend or acquaintance to a group of new people?
3. Have you ever regifted a gift?
4. Have you ever forgotten to RSVP?
5. Have you ever taken the last bit of coffee and not made a new pot at work?
6. Have you ever commented negatively about someone on Facebook?
7. Have you ever farted in a public place?
8. Have you ever smoked a cigarette really close to non-smokers?
9. Have you ever cut in line?
10. Have you ever remained seated on public transportation when a disabled or elderly person was forced to stand?
11. Have you ever hogged a sidewalk so no one could pass you?
12. Have you ever clipped your nails (or otherwise groomed yourself) in public?
13. Have you ever engaged in excessive PDA?
14. Have you ever hit all the buttons in an elevator?
15. Have you ever let the doors close instead of holding an elevator for someone?
16. Have you ever skipped the tip at a restaurant?
17. Have you ever made a lot of noise in a quiet movie theater?
18. Have you ever left pubes, pee, poo or any other mess in or on a public toilet without cleaning it up?
19. Have you ever coughed or sneezed onto someone else?
20. Have you ever had a conversation with someone on speakerphone in a public place?
21. Have you ever used profanity in front of children in a public place?
22. Have you ever talked with your mouth full?
23. Have you ever behaved rudely at the gym? (not wiping off machines, monopolizing machines, etc.)
24. Have you ever not held the door for someone when entering or exiting a store?
25. Have you ever stared at someone’s boobs instead of their face when they were talking to you?

Tell us your total in the comments!


Advertisements

NSFW: Have You Ever… ?!

Did you know that May is National Masturbation Month? I didn’t either … but Tam told me! Before you go celebrate … how about a quick Have You Ever Quiz?

The rules are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

Have You Ever… Masturbated?!

1. Have you ever masturbated?
2. Have you never masturbated?
3. Have you ever masturbated while looking at pornography?
4. Have you ever masturbated while looking at National Geographic magazine?
5. Have you ever masturbated in front of a computer?
6. Have you ever masturbated while watching the news?
7. Have you ever masturbated in a shower?
8. Have you ever masturbated in a bathroom?
9. Have you ever masturbated in a bed?
10. Have you ever masturbated in a bath tub?
11. Have you ever masturbated in a kitchen?
12. Have you ever masturbated in public restroom?
13. Have you ever masturbated in a car?
14. Have you ever masturbated into a sock (or other article of clothing)?
15. Have you ever masturbated into a toilet?
16. Have you ever masturbated into a tissue or paper towel?
17. Have you ever masturbated while using a sex toy?
18. Have you ever masturbated in a moving vehicle?
19. Have you ever masturbated while at work?
20. Have you ever masturbated in a movie theater?
21. Have you ever masturbated at a strip club (or similar location)?
22. Have you ever masturbated on camera?
23. Have you ever masturbated with or in front of another person?
24. Have you ever masturbated with or in front of 2+ people?
25. Have you ever masturbated in your neighbor’s shed?

Now finish spanking your monkey and tell us the total in the comments!


Have You Ever … Had Sex?!

Sex, copulation, coupling, fornication, mating, relations, banging, screwing, shagging, hanky panky, funny business, making whoopee … and fu¢k!ng. The Kinsey Institute says that “By their late teenage years, at least 3/4 of all men and women have had intercourse, and more than 2/3 of all sexually experienced teens have had 2 or more partners.”  And since most of us have done the deed by now … today we’re going to talk about where we’ve done it.  You know the rules: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

Have You Ever?!

1. Have you ever had sex?
2. Have you ever had sex in a bed?
3. Have you ever had sex in a hotel room?
4. Have you ever had sex on the floor?
5. Have you ever had sex in a kitchen?
6. Have you ever had sex in a closet?
7. Have you ever had sex in a bathroom?
8. Have you ever had sex in a basement?
9. Have you ever had sex in an attic?
10. Have you ever had sex in an office?
11. Have you ever had sex in a friend’s house?
12. Have you ever had sex in a store?
13. Have you ever had sex in a movie theater?
14. Have you ever had sex at an amusement park?
15. Have you ever had sex at a bar?
16. Have you ever had sex in a restaurant?
17. Have you ever had sex in a school?
18. Have you ever had sex in a swimming pool?
19. Have you ever had sex on a beach?
20. Have you ever had sex in a tent?
21. Have you ever had sex outside?
22. Have you ever had sex in a car?
23. Have you ever had sex on a boat?
24. Have you ever had sex on a bus?
25. Have you ever had sex in an airplane?
26. Have you ever had sex in a camper or RV?
27. Have you ever had sex on a train?
28. Have you ever had sex at a park?
29. Have you ever had sex in a parking lot?
30. Have you ever had sex in the sleeper cab of an 18-wheeler truck?

Tell us the truth.  Come all over the place clean.
Tell us your total in the comments!

Have You Ever… Annoyed Michelle M?!

We’ve long considered Michelle M. to be one of the nicest and most beloved inhabitants of the blogosphere.  But as we’ve recently found out, Michelle is a mighty force to be reckoned with.  You cross her, and you she might just beat the ever-loving shit out of you.  And it is for that reason (we want to protect you from her rage!) that we asked Michelle to come up with her own Have You Ever?! list of annoyances.  You know the rules: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

Have You Ever…

1. Have you ever been Kristen Stewart, Ashton Kutcher or Jennifer Love Hewitt?
2. Have you ever failed to return a shopping cart?
3. Have you ever sent Michelle a chain email?
4. Have you ever eaten a tub of garlicky hummus before getting into bed?
5. Have you ever left your dog out in the yard to bark all damn day?
6. Have you ever had a spoiled brat who is out of control/doesn’t listen to you?
7. Have you ever mispronounced jalapeño?
8. Unless you’re Craig, have you ever said “me and him” or “her and me”, etc.?
9. Have you ever been a die hard, crazy ass Republican?
10. Have you ever made noise at a movie theater?
11. Have you ever spit in public?
12. Have you ever loaded the dishwasher improperly?
13. Have you ever used too many asterisks in your comments?
14. Have you ever designed a stupid Wonder Woman costume?
15. Have you ever been a salesperson/customer service rep. who ignores Michelle FOREVER and doesn’t know how to say, “I’ll be with you in a moment.”?
16. Have you ever made Michelle do math?
17. Have you ever walked on the wrong side of the lake path?
18. Have you ever had bad breath while sitting next to Michelle on an airplane?
19. Have you ever left a mess in the staff break room?
20. Have you ever written a song that Michelle can’t get out of her head for days?
21. Have you ever changed the chicken noodle soup recipe at Panera?
22. Have you ever posted a duckface photo?
23. Have you ever given your kid a weird/pretentious name or a name with a ridiculous spelling?
24. Have you ever used a lawnmower or leaf-blower before 10am on a weekend?
25. Have you ever called Michelle Ma’am?

Add your name and score to Michelle’s hit list in the comments!

Have You Ever… At The Movies?!

It’s Oscar week — do you know what that means?  It’s time to go to the movies and see as many nominated movies as possible before Sunday!  And while you’re there, add a few points to your total on this week’s quiz.  Do something baaaaaad!  The rules are the same as they always are. For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments section.

Have You Ever?!

1. Have you ever gone to the movies?
2. Have you ever gone to a movie by yourself?
3. Have you ever gone to the movies on a date?
4. Have you ever fallen asleep at the movies?
5. Have you ever cried at a movie?
6. Have you ever answered your cell phone during a movie?
7. Have you ever purchased food at the movies?
8. Have you ever shared a soda at the movies?
9. Have you ever smuggled outside food into the movies?
10. Have you ever smuggled alcohol into the movies?
11. Have you ever gone to a movie when you were high?
12. Have you ever yelled at the screen during a movie?
13. Have you ever been shhhh’ed at the movies?
14. Have you ever shhhh’ed someone else at the movies?
15. Have you ever yelled at someone during a movie?
16. Have you ever gotten into a physical fight at a movie theater?
17. Have you ever been thrown out of a movie?
18. Have you ever walked out on a movie?
19. Have you ever snuck into a movie without paying?
20. Have you ever held hands at a movie?
21. Have you ever kissed someone during a movie?
22. Have you ever masturbated at a movie theater?
23. Have you ever given or received manual pleasure at a movie theater?
24. Have you ever given or received oral pleasure at a movie theater?
25. Have you ever had intercourse at a movie theater?

Lights!  Camera!  Comment!  Tell us your total!

There Should Be A Law!

Do you ever just get SO infuriated by something that you yell, “There should be a law!”  You don’t?  Well I do.  All sorts of things are constantly pissing me off.  Maybe I’m just a grumpy person, or maybe, just maybe, there really should be a law.

There should be a law that people need to shut up about crinkly Sun Chips bags. It was reported on Wednesday that Frito-Lay Sun Chips would no longer be using their environmentally-friendly decomposable bags because consumers didn’t like how noisy the bag material is.  WHAT?!  People really couldn’t deal with a bag that was better for the planet because it made a loud crinkly sound?  Customers actually stopped buying the chips because of the noise.  Sales tumbled.  The planet cries.

Speaking of which… There should be a law that people are required to recycle. Plastic?  Glass?  Paper?  Cardboard?  Metal?  It’s all recyclable.  So why are you throwing it into the trash?!  It’s ridiculously lazy.  All stores and restaurants should have recycling cans next to their trash cans.  And all homes should rinse, sort and recycle.  Recycling should not be a choice, it should a be a rule.  And there’s nothing that makes me angrier than when coworkers throw their paper in my trash can.  There’s a recycling bin FOUR FEET AWAY!

There should be a law that public toilets cannot flush so hard that they fling little droplets of toilet water onto the toilet seat. Seriously — it’s disgusting.  No one wants to walk into a bathroom stall and be faced with little drops of water all over the seat.  And you’re praying that it’s just water.  You grab a wad of toilet paper to wipe off the seat while desperately holding in the reason you’re there in the first place.  Flying spaghetti monster forbid that you have to go so badly that you don’t have time to clean the seat!  Then you’re doomed to walk around the rest of the day knowing that your bum cheeks are unclean.  It’s enough to drive you mad!

There should be a law that people actually have to turn off their phones in the movie theater. I don’t care if you’re expecting an important call.  If your life is important enough to interrupt my movie, then don’t go to the movies.  If your dad is in the hospital or if your surrogate is about to squirt out your baby… THEN DON’T GO TO THE MOVIES.  You were reminded about ten times to turn off your phone.  That doesn’t mean to turn the sound down.  That doesn’t mean to put it on vibrate (because we can all hear that too!).  It means that you should turn it off.  If your phone rings in the theater, you go to jail.  For a long time.  If you answer your phone at the movies?  Then you shot on sight.

So what’s bugging you?  Write some of your own laws in the comments!