Tag Archives: month

Have You Ever… Been Lazy?!

How lazy are you? Let’s find out!  You know the rules: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

Have You Ever…

1. Have you ever worn your pajamas all day?
2. Have you ever waited in a long line at the drive-thru because you were too lazy to get out of the car and go inside?
3. Have you ever hit the snooze button more than 3 times?
4. Have you ever not voted because you were too lazy to read up on the candidates/issues?
5. Have you ever taken the elevator to the second floor?
6. Have you ever driven around looking for a close parking space when it would have been faster to just park farther away and walk?
7. Have you ever watched an infomercial because you were too lazy to turn the channel or turn off the TV?
8. Have you ever picked something up with your feet so you wouldn’t have to bend down?
9. Have you ever owned a Clapper?
10. Have you ever taken a whore’s bath because you were too lazy to shower?
11. Have you ever copied someone else’s homework?
12. Have you ever been too lazy to comment on C&R?
13. Have you ever eaten standing over the kitchen sink?
14. Have you ever asked for an extension on your income tax?
15. Have you ever thrown something away because you were too lazy to find a recycling bin? (Adam will never know).
16. Have you ever worn a baseball cap/hat because you were too lazy to wash/fix your hair?
17. Have you ever passed the vacuum over something several times instead of just bending down and picking it up?
18. Have you ever left just one swallow of juice/milk in the container and then put it back in the fridge for someone else to deal with?
19. Have you ever made a child fetch something for you?
20. Have you ever carried too many grocery bags because you were too lazy to make two trips?
21. Have you ever waited for the rain to wash your car?
22. Have you ever done the “sniff test” on your clothing because you were too lazy to do your laundry?
23. Have you ever gone more than 3 months without exercising?
24. Have you ever wasted an entire day surfing the Internet?
25. Have you ever had someone guest post or posted a YouTube video because you were too lazy to come up with a real post?

Now tell is your total in the comments!


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Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3: Week 5

Our fourth week is complete! Today our contestants celebrate four weeks into the cockiest and rudest weight loss competition evahhhh! It’s Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3!

Our dieters have accomplished nearly a month dieting. Have you wondered what they miss the most?  This week we asked each contestant what from their plumper days they miss the most? Is it food? Laziness? Or something else? Here’s what they said:


Michelle M.
Other than the metabolism of my youth, the thing I miss most is junk food (chocolate and chips, mostly). I can hardly wait until it’s time to donate blood so I can have a guilt free snack afterwards. I hope they have mini powdered donuts…


Polt
Okay, so this week it’s “What Do I Miss Most?” Well I didn’t really give up anything for the challange, but last week, my doctor put me on a low to no carb diet. So what do I miss? FREAKING CARBS!!! I miss pizza, bread, chips, pasta, donuts, potatoes, corn, peas, fries, buns, rolls, subs…oh God, I swear there was moment Monday when I would have given my left nut for a hot buttered roll! As Shakespeare said, “A cruller, a danish, my KINGDOM for an eclair!”


TwoPi
I miss not thinking about whether to buy something my mouth wants to eat. I miss not reading the nutrition labels on packaged foods. I miss giving in to my spur-of-the-moment cravings when I’m doing the grocery shopping. (I do, however, like that slightly smug feeling when I manage to walk down the junk food aisle and don’t give in, don’t put anything in the cart.) I miss not feeling like I’m at war with myself over food.


Ryan

I don’t miss beer (I still drink it) so much as I miss being able to drink without thinking about the calories. At this point, I’ve given up drinking outside of a social context. Enjoying a beer at home just isn’t worth making room for the calories. I also miss snacking. Chips or nut mixes tend to be too much of a bother when you have to measure out portions. It would also be nice to have supper be determined by what I feel like eating more than what will balance out what I ate during the rest of the day.


Tam
I miss desserts. I got in a really bad habit in early 2012 of eating dessert far too often. All kinds, cake, cookies, pie, ice-cream, it didn’t seem like a meal unless we had dessert. Since my trip I have only had the occasional Girl Guide cookie (which I faithfully recorded). I have passed on donuts, ice-cream and other baked treats. Now when I’m craving something I usually end up having a pudding cup or a jello/fruit cup. Both around 100 calories. I like both, but they’re no triple threat chocolate cake. I was super good this last week and got a crappy number. Oh well, means next week will be high right?


Mikey
I miss nothing other than ice cream at the moment. Sure it’s only early spring, but I can always eat ice cream. It’s my favorite dessert of all time. And I haven’t had any in months. Poor Mikey!


Mr. Sombrero
I try not to deprive myself of delicious foods. I keep it in moderation and decrease the intake.
I did replace unhealthy snacks with nuts and fruits. The trick is to completely banish unhealthy foods from your surroundings so one does not fall into temptation in the time of crisis. I do find myself dreaming of Twix PB bars.


Adam
Nearly a month ago, I gave up two foods that are awful for you. Those foods? Mustard and pickles. I miss them so much!  Mustard and pickles are commonly known as the most fattening foods on the planet. By avoiding only these foods, I will slim down to the size of an Olsen twin.  I miss them greatly, but it’s worth it!


And now the week’s results:

Stay tuned each Thursday for the stunning weight-loss success stories of our eight contestants. Who will win this year’s competition? Find out on May 31st … just in time for bikini season!

Spring’s FINAL Piss Puddle Game!

It’s been quite a while since my last Piss Puddle game … and there’s actually a reason.  A month or so ago, Adam and I were shopping at our local fancy pet boutique (Walmart) and we decided that it was healthier for me and better for the environment to switch to a all-natural, corn-based kitty litter.  Sadly, my new litter does not leave very obvious piss puddles … so we assumed that the Piss Puddle game had run its course.  But then, Michelle M. kindly included my Piss Puddle on the Cocky & Rude bingo card.  What were we to do?  We couldn’t disappoint millions of Black Out Bingo players by never completing the card!

So together, we rooted around in the back of our supply cabinet and discovered that there was just enough of my old litter left over for one final puddle.  First Adam held me over my litter box and squeezed my hind-side.  As you would expect, I refused to piss.  Adam then shook me up and down until I scratched him and ran away.  Then he considered using his own urine … but he decided that it was “too uncivilized” — what a douche!  Finally I watched as he drew this final Piss Puddle with some water and a measuring cup.  What a stupid cheater!

You know the rules.  Tell me what you think this “Piss Puddle” looks like in the comments.  You better come up with something more creative than Adam was thinking when he drew that stupid dick-shaped puddle.