You may have heard of this cute little website called Meet-Up. On this website, net savvy people search for people in their area who have similar interests or who want to just get out and enjoy life with other people. I think most of these people have issues socializing and making friends so it shouldn’t surprise anyone to know that I joined a while ago to see if there was some cool group of people just for me out there. I have been consistently amused with my suggested meet-up groups. Frankly, they have been kind of scary.
Let’s start with the groups I got invited to just yesterday. First was called “Fortysomething Single Professionals/Writers/Intellectuals.” Seriously? I’m not even close to that decade in life. And how exactly did the website suggest that group to me with my random selection of interests being “Gay Rights,” “Trivia,” “Books,” and “Feminism.” Apparently Anne who organized the group is also somewhat of an intellectual snob. She actually indicated that attendees must have a Bachelor’s Degree to participate. No one has ever been a professional, a writer or an intellectual without the sacred B.A. After I recovered from the shock of being labeled old and boring, I got an invitation to join “Young Gay Science and Math Teachers.” How can a website suggest a 40+ group and then a “young” group on the same day? And how many people does this organizer think they are going to find? I know in NYC there are a lot of faggots, but how many are science and math teachers. None! They teach the gay subjects of art and home economics.
There are a few more shockers that came through the portal of random. I have also been invited to “Gay Church of Satan” (WTF?) and “NYC Singles Over 35 Musical Theater Lovers.” The first one is shocking because everyone knows that all gays worship Satan whether we go to church or not. And the second is shocking because any real afficionado of musicals would have used the proper spelling of theatre.
The previous groups were absolutely sublime compared to the more absurd groups with which I have been technologically matched. My extremely valuable and highly competitive membership has been requested for the “NYC Chinese Karaoke” group. I don’t know if they are aware, but my Mandarin sucks. Unless they have Gaga. Gaga is the same in all languages.
My absolute favorite group to which I was invited was “Luke DogWalker Play Group.” I eventually found out that this was not some canine version of Star Wars, but really a group of people who want to have their dogs play with other people’s dogs or something. I liked my version better.
I just can’t wait until I am invited to the group “Gay Men with Brown Hair who Blog about their Meet-Up invites” group.