Tag Archives: madonna

McKayla and I are not impressed.

If you waste as much time on the internet as I do, you’ve probably seen the McKayla is not impressed meme. Perhaps you even submitted a post to the blog. I have submitted several (What can I say? This is the kind of stuff I obsess over). My Peanuts one even made it. Yay!

But what happened to all my other submissions? Some ideas I’ve had, I’ve seen posted by other people days after I submitted them (great minds think alike). Maybe there’s a backlog, or maybe they didn’t go through, or maybe they’re saving them up for a grand finale, or maybe they’re just lame… Anyway, I’m tired of waiting for them to show up (or not show up). So here they are:


It’s a C&R Dance Party!

Forget the CD Exchange (if I don’t participate, it doesn’t exist) let’s have a music exchange right here at Cocky & Rude!  Each time we have a C&R Dance Party, I’ll name a theme for the day and you’ll post your responses in the form of a YouTube video in the comments.  And don’t forget to dance!

Today’s Theme Is: A Song That Makes You Wanna Dance!
Link us to a YouTube video in the comments and tell us why you picked it.
Feel free to answer more than once!

I don’t claim to be a HUGE Madonna fan, but I’ve been listening to her tunes since I was a little kid. I remember sitting in the back of my mom’s car during INCREDIBLY long car rides (approx. 45 minutes) to my grandparent’s house. She’d blare Madonna music, and I’d scream when she took her hands off of the steering wheel to dance along with Vogue. For me, it’s safety first, Madonna second. And now, 20-something years later, I can’t stop dancing to Vogue either. My mom had* good taste (but don’t tell her I said that).

*Yes, “had” — now she listens to Keith Urban and Carrie Underwood. Blechk!

(And by the way, if your video doesn’t post in the comments correctly, FEAR NOT! 
I’ll fix it as soon as I get a chance)

Oscar Contest Results-O-Rama!

Did you watch the Oscar awards on Sunday?  The whole show?  And you managed to stay awake?!  AMAZING!!  You deserve an award.  But too bad!  There’s only one award that we’re handing out today… the award for the 2nd Annual Cocky & Rude Oscar Contest!  This year’s winner correctly predicted 20 of the 24 Academy Award categories.  AND NOW … without further ado … (after all, why wait until the end of the post when the winner is someone who has never commented on C&R before?), the winner is: Bart Randall from Los Angeles, California!  Yippee!  Hurray!  Woohoo!!!  Congratulations!

Already in the mail and jetting its way to California is an assortment of seven movie theater-style candies, two packs of microwave popcorn and a brand new DVD of Lindsay Lohan in Walt Disney’s Herbie Fully Loaded!  Wow, what a great prize!

So how did I tabulate the results?  In a giant messy spreadsheet!  Check it out!

Here’s the full roundup of the results:

My favorite two category results were Best Cinematography and Best Actor in a Supporting Role.  Why, you ask?

It’s because 100% of the people that entered the 2nd Annual Cocky & Rude Oscar Contest chose the Best Cinematography winner incorrectly.  You’re all dummies!  (And so am I!)  In the Best Supporting Actor category, nearly everyone picked the correct winner (which was Christopher Plummer for Beginners) — EXCEPT Tam and Polt.  Ha!  They stink!  Lolz!

Each year we invite contest participants to predict the Best and Worst Dressed Academy Award celebrity attendee.  Since these categories are subjective, they do not count towards final scores.

This Year’s Best Dressed Predictions:

Meryl Streep, Viola Davis and Michelle Williams all tied for Best Dressed with three votes each.  Emma Stone was next with two votes, and then everyone else tied with one vote each.

This Year’s Worst Dressed Predictions:

Meryl Streep won Worst Dressed with three votes.  Glenn Close, Michelle Williams, Rooney Mara and Sacha Baron Cohen tied for second place with two votes each.  Everyone else tied with one vote each.

Congratulations to Meryl Streep and Michelle Williams for being our (predicted) Best AND Worst Dressed celebrities!  And Congratulations to Bart Randall for winning the 2nd Annual Cocky & Rude Oscar Contest! So what did you think of this year’s Oscar Awards?  Any surprises?  Who was the best & worst dressed of the night?  What did you think of Jennifer Lopez’s nip, Angelina Jolie’s emaciated leg, Billy Crystal’s break out from the old folks home, and the rest of Sunday night’s silliness?  Any thoughts for next year?  Who should host?  Do you even care about the Oscars?  Let’s discuss in the comments!!

It’s The Friday Five!

C&R’s last crowdsourced Friday Five was such a hit that I’ve decided to do it again.  Here’s your Friday Five!

From Polt: What did I love about this week?  Freshly laundered bedsheets, still warm from the dryer.  Slapping these little slices of heaven right on the bed and then sliding between them, rolling onto your side, pulling the sheet up to your nose and making yourself a little cocoon of warm, comfy, lavender-scented awesomeness is one of life’s greatest pleasures!  Next to a night with three Asians with hairthings spent on those sheets.  Yeah, that would be better.

From Tam: My new favourite thing is PC Caramelized Red Onion Chutney. At our house we hate mustard and we hate mayonnaise, so sometimes sandwiches are a little dry, but since I discovered this product … *swoon*. The description: With a fusion of English-style malt vinegar and Italian balsamic vinegar of Modena, along with brown sugar, herbs, spices, and slow-cooked caramelized onions, our zesty chutney adds a dash of vibrancy to your dishes. Imported from United Kingdom.  Doesn’t that sound yummy? I guess the imported thing explains the price, a bit steep, but worth every cent to liven up my sandwich. I see they use butter in it so it’s not vegan. Sorry Adam.

From Craig: M&Ms – Growing up in my parents house, Mom always kept bowls of red and green M&Ms scattered around the house around Christmas. (For our Canadian readers, M&Ms are like your Smarties but a million and a half times better.) I carried the tradition over to my new place for my first Christmas on my own and it was fantastic. Easy access to M&Ms at all times with no one but myself to eat them? Yes please! Even after the Christmas season ended, and all the red and green M&Ms had made their way through my toilet and into your drinking water, I’ve kept the tradition alive by keeping original M&Ms on my coffee table at all times. Not only are they extremely delicious, but they add a splash of color to my drab earth toney living room!

From Mikey: So there was this thing called the Super Bowl on Sunday.  You might have heard of it.  Well anyway, before the game aired NBC ran a commercial/promo wishing everyone a Happy Super Bowl.  Sure this sounds like typical network TV fare for the most watched event of the year.  What made this one amazing was the fact that someone (most likely Tina Fey) got a bunch of the stars of NBC’s shows together to sing and dance to “Brotherhood of Man” from How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying.  The result…magic.  And GAY magic, which only happens during Madonna Super Bowls.

From Michelle M.: A federal appeals court ruled against California’s voter-approved ban on same-sex marriage (Prop 8) on Tuesday. Finally.

This week’s runners up: the state of Washington, The premier of Smash, slow cookers, painting bottles, Dance Moms (last weeks competition took place at East Islip High School!), Happy Endings, Archie Panjabi, The River, cat breading and hardcore gay pornography.

Make that Three

Remember that post you just read about how I hadn’t found five things worthy of the five this week? Well as life goes…I found something just this morning that blows the everything out of the water. Let’s take a trip back in time to 1991. The 80s were over but the crazy fashions were still alive and kicking in some kids hearts. This is when we meet the hero of this video as his 9 year-old heart dances his ass off to Madonna’s Vogue. I hope I get the chance to meet this now grown man some day.

A Brief Study In Unibrowology

Perhaps even more discriminated upon than gingers, those with unibrows are a brave sort.  The bearer of a single brow is almost always strong in constitution and self esteem.  With so many brow separation techniques available in today’s society (waxing, tweezing, shaving, electrolysis, etc.), to wear a unibrow is a choice, or even a statement.  Today we will look at sixteen who wear the unibrows proudly.

Clockwise from the upper left is Bert from Sesame Street, Sam “Samuel” the Eagle from The Muppet Show, Groundskeeper Willie McDougal from The Simpsons and Baby Gerald (Maggie Simpson’s arch rival) from The Simpsons.  In this first group, we find two creatures of puppet persuasion and two animated characters.  Notice that an upward turned unibrow makes the character appear happy and jovial.  The downward turned unibrow makes the character appear stern or angry.

Clockwise from the upper left is television and radio personality Adam Carolla, movie star Josh Hartnett, the standard ‘Red Bird‘ from the popular mobile video game Angry Birds, and William John Paul “Liam” Gallagher, lead singer of the band, Oasis.  Each of these pop culture icons proudly displays their unibrow to countless adoring fans.  But unlike Gallagher and Red Bird, Carolla and Hartnett have been knowm to prune their brows for film and television projects.

Clockwise from the upper left is famous Mexican painter, Frida Kahlo de Rivera, Top Chef: Masters season 3 contestant Hugh Acheson, Massachusetts Senator John Forbes Kerry and Former United States embarrassment President, George Walker Bush.  Each of these unibrowed individuals have achieved great success in their chosen careers.  Frida Kahlo was a famous self portrait painter.  John Kerry may have failed at his bid for presidency, but he is the senior Senator of Massachusetts.  Even Acheson, who was the first contestant eliminated from Top Chef: Masters season 3, can thank the power of his unibrow, because he was reinstated into the contest when another chef left the game for personal reasons.  None is more successful than George W. Bush, who ran companies into the ground and did poorly in school — but went on to hold the highest office in the United States.

Clockwise from the upper left is Willow Shields, who was recently cast as Primrose Everdeen in the movie adaptation of The Hunger Games, Madonna’s daughter Lourdes LeonIt’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia character Maggie McPoyle, and Unibrau, who starred as Frau Farbissina’s girlfriend in the Austin Powers movies.  Perhaps the bravest of the sixteen, these four unibrowed lovelies stand tall and strong.  Shields will be laughing at all of these comments when she banks her first Hunger Games paycheck.  Lourdes bravely stands beside her mother’s arms and knows that with those things around, no one will ever have time to make fun of her unibrow.  Maggie McPoyle is an inbred, deaf mute, who is not afraid to make out with anyone in sight (even if it’s her own brother.  And Unibrau is a evil argyle-wearing lesbian.  No one dares fuck with her (except maybe Frau Farbissina).

They’re angry, stern, famous, unapologetic, powerful, proud and they just might be inbred.  They’re the unibrowed among us.

Have you been known to sport the single brow?  Do you have a favorite unibrowed icon that we’ve failed to mention?  Tell us all about it in the comments!