Tag Archives: Internet

Biggest C&R Loser 2013

Biggest_CR_Loser_2013

Welcome to the 8th week of Biggest C&R Loser 2013! This year we’ll be keeping all of the results and placings secret until the end of the contest. We’ll also be pooling our cash to award the 2013 winner the largest prize we’ve ever awarded … a whopping $40!  This week’s theme is “TEMPTATION” – Everyone is tempted by something (food, laziness, sleep) when they should be eating healthy and exercising.  What tempts the contestants?  Let’s find out!


Polt

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So this week, it’s Temptation. My biggest temptation is: Gay Porn. ‘Well DUH!’ I can hear you all saying now, but I mean as it relates to this contest. See, if I give in to the temptation of the uncounted amount of gay porn on the Internet, then I spend time watching that and NOT out walking. And after watching gay porn, I’m generally in need of replenishing my…energies. So I eat. And usually it’s snacky-stuff, that’s not healthy for me. So if I could resist the gay porn, I could be exercising more and eating better. …..but yeah, we ALL know that ain’t gonna happen.


Tam

temptation

My temptations are books, I’m either reading one (Don’t ya love my snazzy red e-reader?) or writing one and Chapman’s oatmeal cookies and chocolate ice-cream sandwiches. But they were on sale. How could I not buy them? I’m just a lazy ass all around. I should be up doing something useful and energetic, but I’d rather surf the net and do reading-type stuff. Which would explain why there is no way in hell I am winning the $40.


TwoPi

twopi-feb21

I’ve mostly been eating what I want. I’ve gotten over my cravings for sweets (fairly easy) and for salty snack foods (harder). But what I’m so so SO tempted by is caffeinated coffee. My physician took me off caffeine last summer, and I’ve been successful staying off. But man, when I get behind on grading papers, get up early to get work done before the kids wake up, and I’m sipping my third cup of decaf wondering why it isn’t doing it for me…dang. I’ve been jonesing for caffeine pretty badly lately.


Adam

Lately I’ve been tempted to actually lose weight. I’ve been considering a visit to the gym. I’ve even thought about counting calories. Maybe I’ll actually succumb to the temptation!!


Michelle M.

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What tempts me? My inner child. Grown up me knows she should eat right and exercise, but my inner child is quite the little temptress. What she says pretty much goes.


Mikey

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My number one temptation is take out. Living in NYC it is sooooo easy to order anything to your door, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you will eat well. At least once a week I am tired enough to think about ordering…but my brain denies it.


Mr. Sombrero

americanbeauty

I get tempted so easily. Mostly by peanut butter and anything else that starts with the word, “Reese’s.” Late at night when I’m watching Chelsea Lately, I think that should be exercising. Instead, I just close my eyes and imagine that I am Mena Suvari in American Beauty, being showered with rose petals. Except that it’s me instead of Mena, and I’m being showered with jars of PB. And then I get hit in the head and wake up. Then it’s time for bed.

Picture 7


Nathan

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My biggest temptation is eating delicious quick unhealthy foods. I’m a sucker for pizza. Making healthy choices is more expensive and more work, and I’m just lazy I guess.


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Biggest C&R Loser 2013

Biggest_CR_Loser_2013

Welcome to the first week of Biggest C&R Loser 2013! This year we’ll be keeping all of the results and placings secret until the end of the contest. We’ll also be pooling our cash to award the 2013 winner the largest prize we’ve ever awarded … a whopping $40!  But before we get ahead of ourselves, let’s meet this year’s contestants and find out their motivation for participating:


Adam

Adam
I need to drop some weight before I require a Jazzy Power Scooter. And it’s get’n close.


Michelle M.

MichelleM
I am participating because my ass has recently acquired its own moon. I hope to drop at least 10 pounds.


Mikey

Mikey_bigbones
Why am I doing this? Since losing weight for my wedding…I am very fat. It sucks. My goal is to be lose between 20-35 pounds. It can be done.


Mr. Sombrero

MrSombrero
This year I plan on kicking all your asses and losing a crap-load of weight! Woohoo!


Nathan

Nathan
I’ve included a photo of me looking as rotund as possible so that no matter what, my end photo will look way better. It’s all about setting the bar low. Alright, well, I’ve decided to join the competition this year since it’s part of my New Year’s plans anyways, so now I should at least feel some pressure from my throngs of Internet fans. I hope to shed a few pounds this year so that I won’t have to buy new clothes (which I will have to do if I gain any more weight).


Polt

Polt
So, I’m supposed to tell you why I’m doing this and what I hope to accomplish. Okay, I’m doing it because I’ve participated in every one of these things in the past, it’s tradition! I mean, it wouldn’t be a C&R Biggest Loser contest without Polt not winning it, now would it? And what do I hope to accomplish? Well, winning the money would be pretty nifty, but we all know that ain’t gonna happen. I suppose what I hope to accomplish is to not come in last. The photo is one I used a few years ago, and since I’ve not changed much since then, it seems appropriate to use it again.


Tam

Tam
I’m back… again. I don’t think I’ve gained any weight since the last time we tried this, well, I had but I’d lost it again. I was doing pretty well until being home from work every day over Christmas. Having access 24/7 to food is not good. So I’m back on the wagon. My technique this time around? I’m not sure yet. I haven’t thought that far ahead, but I really want to get rid of the stuff I gained back a couple of years ago. Hopefully having to check in here every week will keep me more honest and stop me when I’m tempted to just eat something without thinking. Not that it’s worked in the past, but hey, I can hope.


TwoPi

TwoPi
Here I am again! I felt like I did okay in BC&RL3, where my goal was to steadily lose weight without giving up too much. I was mostly able to keep off the weight I lost last time (at least through mid-November), although I have ballooned a bit over the holidays. So I’m back, this time aiming to alter both diet and exercise routines as best I can. I’m hoping to feel healthier and have more mobility by June.


Have You Ever… Been Lazy?!

How lazy are you? Let’s find out!  You know the rules: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

Have You Ever…

1. Have you ever worn your pajamas all day?
2. Have you ever waited in a long line at the drive-thru because you were too lazy to get out of the car and go inside?
3. Have you ever hit the snooze button more than 3 times?
4. Have you ever not voted because you were too lazy to read up on the candidates/issues?
5. Have you ever taken the elevator to the second floor?
6. Have you ever driven around looking for a close parking space when it would have been faster to just park farther away and walk?
7. Have you ever watched an infomercial because you were too lazy to turn the channel or turn off the TV?
8. Have you ever picked something up with your feet so you wouldn’t have to bend down?
9. Have you ever owned a Clapper?
10. Have you ever taken a whore’s bath because you were too lazy to shower?
11. Have you ever copied someone else’s homework?
12. Have you ever been too lazy to comment on C&R?
13. Have you ever eaten standing over the kitchen sink?
14. Have you ever asked for an extension on your income tax?
15. Have you ever thrown something away because you were too lazy to find a recycling bin? (Adam will never know).
16. Have you ever worn a baseball cap/hat because you were too lazy to wash/fix your hair?
17. Have you ever passed the vacuum over something several times instead of just bending down and picking it up?
18. Have you ever left just one swallow of juice/milk in the container and then put it back in the fridge for someone else to deal with?
19. Have you ever made a child fetch something for you?
20. Have you ever carried too many grocery bags because you were too lazy to make two trips?
21. Have you ever waited for the rain to wash your car?
22. Have you ever done the “sniff test” on your clothing because you were too lazy to do your laundry?
23. Have you ever gone more than 3 months without exercising?
24. Have you ever wasted an entire day surfing the Internet?
25. Have you ever had someone guest post or posted a YouTube video because you were too lazy to come up with a real post?

Now tell is your total in the comments!


Find Out Who Has The Biggest Boy-Parts! (NSFW)

While innocently surfing the Internet, I stumbled upon some survey results from a few years ago.  It seems that the reputable source, Condomania.com has determined a unique rankings of average penis size in the 50 states.  Here’s Condomania’s results, ordered by largest to smallest penis:

By now you’ve scanned the list to see where you rank.  Are you lucky enough to be living in well-endowed New Hampshire?  Or maybe you’re living in Micropenisville, Wyoming?  Most of the C&R frequent commenters living in the following 8 states … and here’s how we measure up:

The results turned out quite well for the presumably well-hung Mikey, Craig, Ty, Josh, Jere and the rest of our New York commenters.  Unfortunately those of us in New Jersey (like myself) and Maine didn’t quite measure up.  But as those of us who are a bit less than well endowed often claim: it’s not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean.

A final note … New Yorkers shouldn’t whip out their junk and celebrate too quickly.  When Condomania.com ranked the 20 most populated U.S. cities by their average penis size, some new facts were revealed:

It’s good news for commenters like Harry, Ryan and VUBOQ, who live in or near San Diego and Washington D.C.  It looks like they may out-measure a few of our New York City friends after all.

So how do you measure up?  Are these lists accurate?  And what city and state will you be visiting on your next vacation?


Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3: Week 8

Our seventh week is complete! Today our contestants celebrate seven weeks into the cockiest and rudest weight loss competition evahhhh! It’s Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3!

Temptation is something that plagues every dieter.  Whether it’s food, laziness, or something else — sometimes it’s all you’re thinking about when you should be eating healthy and exercising.  What tempts our contestants?  We’re about to find out!


Michelle M.
It doesn’t take much to tempt me away from exercising. But the couch/television and internet are the worst offenders. “All I wanna do is stay home and eat chips” – little Mackenzie (my favorite) from Dance Moms.


Polt
So this week’s theme is Temptation: what’s tempting me. Well, I’ve not had many chips in the last month, and I used to have them with nearly every meal, so they’re kinda tempting. And what do chips go best with but a delicious sub? Yeah, I’d like to have one of those, thick roll piled high with meat, mayo, lettuce, onions….yum. But what’s REALLY tempting me? PASTA! I’d give my left nut for a big bowl of fettuccine, covered in sauce and loaded with meatballs. YUM! For me now, pasta is the face of evil, tempting me so, yet SO wrong for me!


TwoPi
“I always avoid temptation, unless I can’t resist it.” Looking for images related to this quote, I stumbled on the cover of the sheet music for “Ev’rybody Shimmies Now”, which I can’t help but hear being sung by the Beach Boys. Apparently the Shimmy was a popular dance in the 1920s. Sorry, I got distracted. What is the theme again? Oh. I guess I’m tempted by the idea of the Beach Boys recording Mae West songs.


Tam
So, my biggest weakness is the damn computer. I’m either reading, writing something, or surfing the net. Sigh. I should be going for a walk, doing my laundry, something that actually requires burning more calories than typing. As for food weaknesses, lately it’s been ice-cream. (Not the Starbucks but the picture was close. I hate Starbuck.) It’s not a good thing when Ben & Jerry’s is on sale. I can resist when it’s $7/container, but $4 … not so much. Doesn’t help that this week is water retention week. Stupid girl problems.


Ryan
This past week they’ve been having food trucks come to our offices. This has disrupted my diet not only because I’m probably eating more than I normally would for lunch but also because the difficulty of figuring out how much I ate discourages me from making sure what I have for the rest of the day fits within my calorie ranges.


Mr. Sombrero
Dear PB, you suck! I love you. That about sums it up.


Mikey
My temptation of the moment is pizza. I have given in to it twice this past week, which explains why I am fatter today than I was last week. 😦 Anyway…I vow (again!) to resist temptation again. OH and to get off my fat butt and work out.


Adam
All I want is a cookie — ALL I WANT IS A COOKIE!! Why are vegan cookies still so bad for you? I haven’t had cookies in forevz (at least 2 days) and I still cannot seem to lose any weight. It’s pathetic! I’m just awful!!


And now the week’s results:

Stay tuned each Thursday for the stunning weight-loss success stories of our eight contestants. Who will win this year’s competition? Find out on May 31st … just in time for bikini season!

Straight Girls & Gay Porn

So when Adam and Michelle put out their whiny request saying they were “tired” and “too exhausted” to post this week (wah wah wah) and DESPERATELY wanted guest posts, I thought … what could I, the classy sophisticated woman that I am, write about for a guest post? Of course, the obvious answer was Mikey’s favorite: hardcore gay porn.

Now everyone knows that straight girls only like porn with romantic music and floaty curtains, and soft gentle non-threatening male actors, right? Heh. Yeah. Well, I can’t speak on behalf of all straight girls, only the ones in my little pervy corner of the universe, and that description? Not so much. I decided I would do a survey of a few of my friends who I know enjoy a little man-on-man action, or at least a picture of a nekkid bottom now and then. Well, they told two friends, and they told two friends and so on, and so on. You know the drill. I ended up with 110 responses. Ack! I needed to buy a Survey Monkey pay subscription to access them all.

So what is the story with these women? They’re just looking at artsy pictures right? Well, we’re looking at pictures, I’m not sure how many are “artsy”. Have you been to Tumblr lately? Ahem. 97.3% have a gander at the boys, many on a daily basis, or several times daily, or hourly. Do you know how fast a dashboard moves on that site? Ya gotta keep up or you’ll miss a good one.

Now surely they’re not WATCHING videos. I must be alone in that jungle of testosterone, right? Oh no, I’m not alone. Basically 83% of us girls surveyed like to watch some hot video action, although we are basically cheap and don’t want to pay for it.

Okay, but they’re all single and sad and desperate like me I’m sure. Hmmm. Maybe? 37.6% of us are footloose and fancy free and can watch whatever the hell we want on the internet. But 35.6% have husbands who don’t really care.

I got some interesting comments:

So there you have it. But you’re asking “why?” right? Most people do, even other straight girls. And no, none of us imagine one of the ‘stars’ coming to their senses and sweeping us off our feet. Some of us like to watch straight porn or girl-on-girl as well, but there are a lot of common reasons women don’t like watching porn with other women in it. We are not the target audience. It’s aimed at men and as a rule shows women that men (supposedly) find attractive. The men involved don’t really matter, because straight guys are staring at the women. Straight girls? We’re looking at Ron Jeremy. Ack. If that’s not a freaking turn-off what is? I like to look at attractive men and seriously, you aren’t going to find many in straight porn. So I’ll go where my eye can enjoy the view, doubly, or more.

Here are some of the comments from my survey respondents:

So there you have it folks. In general the reasons why some of us girls like gay porn are: we like men and the way men look; straight porn makes us feel icky or self-conscious; and … it’s just hot. *shrug*

I received so many interesting answers to my questions about porn stars on twitter, live sex shows, strippers and how “out” you are with your habit, that I will definitely be using much of this info for some posts on my own site. Too much great data not to mine for other posts. I admit my survey sample was skewed to those who already have an interest in the subject matter, but it wouldn’t have been nearly as fun otherwise.

I know porn is not for everyone, but if it’s your thing, happy watching.


Check out Tam’s blog: Tam Reads, Writes & Rambles, read her reviews at Brief Encounters, or follow her on twitter.