Tag Archives: homework

Have You Ever… Been Lazy?!

How lazy are you? Let’s find out!  You know the rules: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

Have You Ever…

1. Have you ever worn your pajamas all day?
2. Have you ever waited in a long line at the drive-thru because you were too lazy to get out of the car and go inside?
3. Have you ever hit the snooze button more than 3 times?
4. Have you ever not voted because you were too lazy to read up on the candidates/issues?
5. Have you ever taken the elevator to the second floor?
6. Have you ever driven around looking for a close parking space when it would have been faster to just park farther away and walk?
7. Have you ever watched an infomercial because you were too lazy to turn the channel or turn off the TV?
8. Have you ever picked something up with your feet so you wouldn’t have to bend down?
9. Have you ever owned a Clapper?
10. Have you ever taken a whore’s bath because you were too lazy to shower?
11. Have you ever copied someone else’s homework?
12. Have you ever been too lazy to comment on C&R?
13. Have you ever eaten standing over the kitchen sink?
14. Have you ever asked for an extension on your income tax?
15. Have you ever thrown something away because you were too lazy to find a recycling bin? (Adam will never know).
16. Have you ever worn a baseball cap/hat because you were too lazy to wash/fix your hair?
17. Have you ever passed the vacuum over something several times instead of just bending down and picking it up?
18. Have you ever left just one swallow of juice/milk in the container and then put it back in the fridge for someone else to deal with?
19. Have you ever made a child fetch something for you?
20. Have you ever carried too many grocery bags because you were too lazy to make two trips?
21. Have you ever waited for the rain to wash your car?
22. Have you ever done the “sniff test” on your clothing because you were too lazy to do your laundry?
23. Have you ever gone more than 3 months without exercising?
24. Have you ever wasted an entire day surfing the Internet?
25. Have you ever had someone guest post or posted a YouTube video because you were too lazy to come up with a real post?

Now tell is your total in the comments!


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Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3: Week 9

Our eighth week is complete! Today our contestants celebrate eight weeks into the cockiest and rudest weight loss competition evahhhh! It’s Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3!

People say that you should never sweat the small stuff.  But sometimes it’s the little things that drive us crazy.  This week we asked each of our contestants what one (or more) ‘little things’ are that bother them.  Maybe it’s their blobby fat that hangs over their waist band, or the way that diet food always seems to taste awful.  Here’s what they said:


Tam
When you say little things, I’ll take it literally. Why are little things so fattening? It’s only a few peanuts. They’re miniature M&Ms. It’s just dried cranberries. All of them JAMMED with calories (in addition to good things). All small food should have small calories. If you eat a huge burger, big calories. Tiny cookies, tiny calories. Why are these things not logical?


Mr. Sombrero
There are few things that bother Mr Sombrero. Number one is the scale. It hasn’t moved in weeks. What the frak scale?! I thought we were in this together?! Did Adam put you up to this? [no response] Whatever. Another thing that bothers Mr Sombrero is his full length mirror. I don’t like what I’m seeing. Yes I’m talking to you mirror. Don’t give me that fat look. You know what else bothers Mr S? That kid that lost his cupcakes. Yeah that Ryan kid. Showoff. I think I’ve seen some of his cupcakes hanging around my scale. And another thing, what is up with veggie farts. I mean seriously, enough is enough. And do they have to smell like hipster’s wool hat on a hot and humid urban August afternoon? Yeah these are some of my (least) favorite things…


Ryan
I’m getting tired of tracking everything. It’s the key to my success so far, but it gets really frustrating whenever I eat something outside of my normal routine. The uncertainty of how much food something contains can make planning the rest of the day pointless. This leads me to rely mostly on whether I feel hungry, but this leads to the temptation to let myself have what I want to eat even if I shouldn’t.


Michelle M.
One of the little things I hate is being a girl and trying to lose weight. It’s hard to stay on track when you automatically put on up to 5 pounds of water weight each month. You think you’re being good and the WHAM the numbers on the scale jump up. It’s so discouraging. And craving sugar and salty snacks doesn’t help. Stupid hormones.


TwoPi
What irritates me the most is having to pay attention to the bathroom scale once a week. Bad enough having to stand on the darned thing, which naturally gives out a little creaking noise, as in “Oh my GOHD how many of you ARE there?” Then there’s a number, which is never the number I remember from when I was in high school (roughly the last time in my life I stood on a bathroom scale on a regular basis). And finally, there’s the blasted comparison of this week’s number with last week’s number. Ugh. I feel like a schoolboy who just got called in front of the class and didn’t do his homework. Bleh.


Mikey
The little things I hate are the way my shirts fit and the way that my pants fit. I feel like ALL of my shirts are too small and I float around like the pink iceberg named Fat Betty. My pants however are loose enough that I need a belt, but my belt doesn’t have a hole at the right spot….so they are constantly sagging and showing my ample rear.


Adam
A little thing that I hate?  Clothes that don’t fit.  I’ve gained some weight in the last year — and now the shirts I wore last year aren’t fitting.  Why can’t someone design clothing that grows with you?  Or maybe I should just buy every available size of shirts that I like.  That way one of ’em will always fit!  Think of all the plaid!!!


Polt
So this week we’re talking about the little things we hate. Writing these blurbs each week can be a pain, but I’ll not mention that. And I thought I’d actually have to force myself to be taking walks, but I find I enjoy them, and frankly, feel a bit guilty when I don’t take one at least every other day. No, I think what irritates me the most about this diet thing, is the lack of variety in the food I’m eating. I’m eating all the meat and veggies I want (not that I want, or even eat all that many), but after awhile, I’ve just gotten sick of steak. I’d really like to have a sub and some chips, or a big plate of steaming hot pasta and meatballs, or a huge greasy slice of pizza…but I cant. Steak and salad for me…thank you very much. Ah well, in the end it’ll be worth it, right?


And now the week’s results:

Stay tuned each Thursday for the stunning weight-loss success stories of our eight contestants. Who will win this year’s competition? Find out on May 31st … just in time for bikini season!