Tag Archives: help

Stuff I daydream about.

Life is harsh. Sometimes the best thing to do is slip into a nice daydream. Here’s just some of the stuff I like to imagine while I’m stargazing, woolgathering or just plain avoiding reality.

My most frequent daydream is of winning the mega millions lottery.
But The Publisher’s Clearing House prize would do just fine. I’m not picky.

After I win my millions, Harry and I will travel. Some of the places I fantasize about going to are Fiji (or any tropical island, really), Santorini, Austria, Australia, The U.K., Copenhagen and Belgium (I hear they make a good french fry…).

I like to pretend that I’m a ballerina. And not just a ballerina, but a prima ballerina assoluta.

I also like to daydream that I’m a singer/songwriter with a multi-octave range.
Here I am performing at one of my sold out concerts.

One of my favorite sports is figure skating. I like to imagine what music I would skate to, what costumes I would wear and what it would feel like to win an Olympic gold medal (in my head I have also won the gold in equestrian events, diving, skiing and gymnastics).

Have you heard? I’m (supposed to be) writing a novel. Of course, I like to think it will be a #1 best selling book. It will, of course, be optioned for a movie. And I’ll have so much fun traveling around the country staying in 5 star hotels and doing book signings. Make sure you come out to see me when I come to a bookstore near you!

Naturally I’ll win a best screenplay Oscar when I adapt my book for film. I’ll receive a standing ovation for my humble and humorous, yet touching acceptance speech.

Once I win the Oscar, maybe they’ll give me a whack at writing that Wonder Woman movie I’ve been waiting for…

All my daydreams aren’t frivolous, though. Sometimes I pretend that I’ve come up with the cure for cancer, paralysis or any other number of illnesses/diseases. The Nobel prize, Time cover for Person of the Year, money and accolades will all be secondary to the knowledge that I am helping the human race.

Some of my daydreams are actually attainable. I often wish that my house was sparkling clean, my laundry and ironing is all done, the cupboards and refrigerator are filled with food, and I’m at my goal weight. Then I can completely relax while watching movies and reading a stack of books guilt-free.

So what do you like to daydream about? Flying to the moon? Scoring the game winning touchdown? Being the homecoming queen? Stealing Mr. Sombrero away from Adam? Let me know in comments!


Advertisements

The Adventures of 8-bit Adam





















Where Should Nathan Go On Vacation?

Late last week, Nathan contacted me with a post idea. It seems that he has a week off in July and has no clue what to do and where to go on vacation. Here are my ten suggestions:

Stay in Canada! Canada is a beautiful wasteland of ice and snow. Who wouldn’t want to spend some free time exploring an iceberg, making snowmen, adding unnecessary u’s to words, and napping inside of an igloo! The temperature never goes above freezing in Canada!  Slap on your formal wear and have a ball!

Why not spend a week in wonderful Baghdad, Iraq! The largest city in Iraq is home to political unrest, massive troop withdrawals and startling civil rights violations. Who wouldn’t want to visit Baghdad? I hear that they have the best gay clubs in all of the Middle East!

How about a week in North Korea? Spend your time with the new supreme leader, Kim Jong-un! Try your hand at designing weapons of mass destruction, try on a huge selection of Kim Jong-il‘s high heeled shoes, and threaten to start World War III! And that’s all just in the first day!

How about a tour of Chernobyl, Ukraine? Tour the disintegrating nuclear sarcophagus, sample the local radioactive cuisine, and dance the night away with all the local mutants! You’ll leave Chernobyl with a “healthy” green glow that all your friends will be jealous of!

How about a lovely hike near Moab, Utah? While you’re there, make sure to get your arm stuck under a rock … and spend the next 127 hours practicing your survival skills!

Why not spend a week in sunny Afghanistan? Tour the expansive deserts (but watch out for IEDs!) or spend a few days hiding in a cave. For an extra few hundred bucks you can attend a actual terrorist training camp!

Spend a week exploring Antarctica! Antarctica, on average, is the coldest, driest, and windiest continent, and has the highest average elevation of all the continents. I can’t think of a better place to slap on some eyeliner and PAR-TAY!

What, you haven’t heard of Centralia, Pennsylvania? All properties in the borough were claimed under eminent domain by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania in 1992 (and all buildings therein were condemned), and Centralia’s ZIP code was revoked by the Post Office in 2002. Why? Because the mines below the surface are expected to be on fire for the next 250 years! Get yer tan on in Centralia!

None of those vacations are ticking your fancy? Then how about fabulous Somalia? Since the outbreak of the Somali Civil War in 1991 there has been no central government control over most of the country’s territory. But that can’t stop the bustling tourism business! Spend a day working as an actual Somali slumlord or reenact scenes Black Hawk Down!

If all else fails, you can always spend a week in the pink! Fat Betty’s anus is a warm and inviting … but be warned, when it’s poo-time, you’ll feel like you’re standing in the middle of the busiest highway in North America. She eats a lot, and yes, she poops a lot.

Those are my 10 best suggestions! Do you have a favorite, or maybe you have some ideas of your own? Help Nathan in the comments!

A Cocky & Rude Christmas Carol 1.05

episode 1.01 | episode 1.02 | episode 1.03 | episode 1.04








The Cocky Chronicles 1.10

Episode 1.01 | Episode 1.02 | Episode 1.03 | Episode 1.04 | Episode 1.05
Episode 1.06 | Episode 1.07 | Episode 1.08 | Episode 1.09

For more adventures of Super Viagra & Vagina Girl, go to Puntabulous.com

The Puntabupets Results Are In!

The results are in! The name that garnered the most votes was:

ADAM!!

Here is the vote breakdown:

Even the parakeet had a say in what his name would be:

But after seeing the clips of silver fox Anderson Cooper giggling like a little schoolgirl,
I had to go with the name Cooper. What did you think this was, a democracy?
Plus, Cooper is as blue as Anderson’s eyes.

So, Pixel and Typo, what do you think of the name Cooper?

Puntabupets


*How may can you name?

Over the years I’ve enjoyed hearing about the puntabupets (man, you people sure like cats). Although some are no longer with us, they have provided happiness, comfort and companionship. In the past few months I’ve been flirting with the idea of pet ownership. But which pet should I have? I want all the benefits of pet ownership, but none of the work. That pretty much leaves out dogs, cats, rabbits, hamsters, guinea pigs, etc. I need something easy to care for. Like a fish. So Harry and I went to the pet store to bring home our new aquatic friend. Here he is, my new BFF!

Isn’t he a cutie?

But the little guy needs a name. So I’m asking you all to help out.

Here are some names that we came up with, but I am open to suggestions.

        Check back tomorrow for the results!