Tag Archives: heart attack

Things That CREEP Me Out

Here are ten things that CREEP me the hell out:

Old timey dolls. What were people thinking in the olden days? Were they trying to scare their children to death? Who would want to wake up to see those evil little faces staring at you? The one above wants to swallow my soul.

Speaking of scaring children to death, jack in the boxes are another way to do it.
The anticipation of that thing popping out is enough to give me a heart attack.

Mayonnaise. SO GROSS! Barf!

Eyeballs. Specifically, touching or operating on them. The Lasik scene from Final Destination 5 almost did me in.

Bar soap*. Especially that slimy gunk between the bar of soap and the soap dish. Gag!

*More on this on a future post.

Mummies. I DON’T WANT TO SEE THAT! EVER! Put that thing back where you found it! (Plus, they carry curses).

Mold, eeeeeeeeeeeew!

Long toenails. Revolting! Clip that shiz before I lose my lunch!
(Also gross: long fingernails on men and those Lamisil toe fungus commercials).

Candle wax on birthday cake. And it gets on the best part – the frosting! I always worry that someone is going to blow too hard on the candles and spray that damn wax everywhere. If I’m in charge of candles, I put them all in one corner so the rest of the cake doesn’t get wax cooties.

Roaches. make. my. skin. Crawl.

So there you have it – ten things that I find utterly disgusting. Runners up were: hairy drain clogs,
hoarders, John Malkovich, porta potties and rotting, never brushed teeth.

What creeps you out? Let me know in comments!


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Have You Ever … Been A Healthy Man?!

National Men’s Health Week has just drawn to a close. This makes me wonder: How healthy is the C&Rmy? Are we ready to rise up against our greatest enemy and defeat him? Let’s find out how healthy of a man you are.

The rules are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

Have You Ever?!

1. Have you ever had to get a physical for a school sport?
2. Have you ever gotten a physical because you’re getting old?
3. Have you ever had high cholesterol?
4. Have you ever had a kidney stone?
5. Have you ever had a heart attack?
6. Have you ever had arthritis?
7. Have you ever predicted bad weather coming because of pain in your joints?
8. Have you ever been told by a doctor that it’s time to start losing weight?
9. Have you ever been asked by your doctor if you’re sexually active?
10. Have you ever had to pee in a cup?
11. Have you ever had to provide a stool sample?
12. Have you ever been handed someone else’s pee in a cup?
13. Have you ever had to handle someone else’s stool sample?
14. Have you ever turned your head an coughed while a doctor yanked on yer balls?
15. Have you ever seen a urologist?
16. Have you ever checked your own balls for lumps?
17. Have you ever checked someone else’s balls for lumps?
18. Have you ever had a urinary tract infection?
19. Have you ever had a prostate exam?
20. Have you ever thrown your back out during sexual relations?
21. Have you ever not been able to get it up during sexual relations?
22. Have you ever been with someone who was not able to get it up during sexual relations?
23. Have you ever taken a prescription for your erectile dysfunction?
24. Have you ever taken an erectile dysfunction pill just for the hell of it?
25. Have you ever been raped by a giant erectile dysfunction pill wearing a cape?

Now turn your head, cough, and tell us your total in the comments.


Have You Ever… In The Snow?!

Have you ever been a little less than wonderful in the winter wonderland?  Today’s snow-themed Have You Ever?! quiz is going to find out.  For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point.  When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments section.

Have you ever…

1. Have you ever gone sledding?
2. Have you ever gone ice skating?
3. Have you ever made a snow angel?
4. Have you ever fallen on ice?
5. Have you ever been in a snowball fight?
6. Have you ever thrown a ‘yellow’ snowball at someone?
7. Have you ever had frostbite?
8. Have you ever gone snowmobiling?
9. Have you ever regretted driving in the snow?
10. Have you ever been in a car that got stuck in the snow?
11. Have you ever been in a car accident because of the snow?
12. Have you ever discovered a lot of shrinkage after you or your man spent a lot of time outside in the cold?
13. Have you ever pretended to be sick or lied so someone would shovel the snow for you?
14. Have you ever faked a heart attack so you could stop shoveling?
15. Have you ever missed work or school because of the snow?
16. Have you ever blamed the snow and played hooky from school or work when you could have made it in?
17. Have you ever been naked by yourself outside in the snow?
18. Have you ever been naked with one or more other people in the snow?
19. Have you ever urinated or defecated outside in the snow?
20. Have you ever built an anatomically correct snow-person?
21. Have you ever gone swimming outdoors during the winter (like a member of the Polar Bear Club)?
22. Have you ever had sex in an igloo or ice hotel?
23. Have you ever had sex outdoors while it was snowing?
24. Have you ever fallen through thin ice and were in danger of losing your life?
25. Have you ever murdered someone by stabbing them with an icicle? (The perfect crime!)

Did u behave yourself? Tell us the truth! Post your score in the comments.