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It’s the 2011 Cocky Awards!

It’s the end of 2011, and than can only mean one thing: it’s time for the 2011 Cocky Awards! This year’s awards will be determined solely by your votes.  Each week, C&R will present you with a few categories.  Each week, you’ll place your vote before the polls close at approximately 12:00 Noon (EST) each Friday.  Then each weekend, we’ll revel the latest winners.

Earlier this week, you voted on two of the final categories of the 2011 Cocky Awards.  They were: Favorite 2011 C&R Blogger & 2011 Second Favorite Blog.
Here are the results!


The award for Favorite 2011 C&R Blogger goes to…
MICHELLE M.!


The award for 2011 Second Favorite Blog goes to…
POLT’S PALACE and
VICIOUS.UNREPENTANT.BITTER.OLD.QUEEN!



Congratulations to these Cocky Award winners of 2011:
MICHELLE M., POLT’S PALACE and
VICIOUS.UNREPENTANT.BITTER.OLD.QUEEN!

THE 2011 COCKY AWARD LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD
winner will be revealed on 1/1/12!
(And that’s the end of the 2011 Cocky Awards, so quit yer bitch’n)

It’s the 2011 Cocky Awards!

It’s the end of 2011, and than can only mean one thing: it’s time for the 2011 Cocky Awards! This year’s awards will be determined solely by your votes.  Each week, C&R will present you with a few categories.  Each week, you’ll place your vote before the polls close at approximately 12:00 Noon (EST) each Friday.  Then each weekend, we’ll revel the latest winners.

Earlier this week, you voted on the three categories of the 2011 Cocky Awards.  They were: Favorite 2011 C&R Commenter, Favorite 2011 C&R Series, and 2011 C&R Fan Favorite. Here are the results!


The award for Favorite 2011 C&R Commenter goes to…
MICHELLE M.


The award for Favorite 2011 C&R Series goes to…
C&R MATCH GAME!


The award for 2011 C&R Fan Favorite goes to…
POLT’S ASS!


Congratulations to these Cocky Award winners of 2011:
Michelle M., C&R Match Game
and Polt’s Ass!

The 2011 Cocky Awards continue next week!

It’s the 2011 Cocky Awards!

It’s the end of 2011, and than can only mean one thing: it’s time for the 2011 Cocky Awards! This year’s awards will be determined solely by your votes.  Each week, C&R will present you with a few categories.  Each week, you’ll place your vote before the polls close at approximately 12:00 Noon (EST) each Friday.  Then each weekend, we’ll revel the latest winners.  One vote per IP address.


THIS WEEK’S CATEGORIES ARE:

Favorite 2011 C&R Commenter

Favorite 2011 C&R Series

2011 C&R Fan Favorite



A friend for john?


In case you didn’t know, everyone’s favorite bunny has decided to get a pet.
Which of these animals will make the cut?

has had rabbits before. He wants a pet that will be a little more interactive.

Allergies.
Too big.

Too lame.

Too Richard Parker.

A disaster in the making.
Salmonella!

Boring.

Probably none of these – john seems to be leaning towards a dog. Instead of a parakeet.

Which is silly, because, as everyone knows, parakeets are as good as or even better than dogs.

Why parakeets are better than dogs:

Their poops are smaller and easier to clean up
You’ll never see them pulling a “Toby”

They are cheaper (food, toys, care) than a dog
You don’t need to walk them
They bathe themselves
They will vote for you in important C&R elections
They don’t slobber all over you when you kiss them
They won’t hump your leg
They don’t have bad breath
They sing along to the radio with you
They love youtube

They can fly
They can talk (even though it’s creepy)
They get along well with rabbits

If john does get a dog,
he needs to decide on a breed.

He recently asked for input on his facebook question of the day.
The kid suggested a greyhound – but are greyhounds and rabbits a good mix?


A lab probably isn’t a good idea either…

Tam suggested a Cavalier King Charles spaniel…

Or a pug – which is a breed john likes.

Justin didn’t weigh in, but I’m sure he would suggest a Siberian Husky.

David P. suggested a large dog,

while Polt would go for a lap dog. Maybe a poodle, like Mama Polt’s Angel.

I am partial to Shiba Inus.

Or collies. You never know when you might fall down a well.

josh said to get a nice dog.

In one of my favorite Kids In the Hall bits, Bruce McCulloch sings the praises of a terrier:

So many choices!

So, john, if you do end up with a dog, I’m sure the lucky pooch you choose will be a great addition to your life and will provide you with lots of love, joy and companionship. Just don’t put a bandanna on it.

C&R Fight Club Round 4: Michelle M. vs. The Kid vs. FDot

Welcome to Cocky & Rude Fight Club: ROUND THREE!  The rules to the game are simple.  Each week we’ll re-introduce our fighters.  We’ll give them each a chance to speak their mind.  Then we’ll put the results to vote.  You’ll pick which combatant will decimate their opponent in the knock-down, drag-out brawl of Cocky & Rude Fight Club! Let’s meet this week’s fighters…


Each week of Round Three, we’ll drop three Round Two winners into the ring and see who remains standing after a 24-hour Cocky & Rude Fight Club vote.  Today’s contestants are: Michelle M., “The Kid” and FDot.

In her C&R Fight Club Round 1 fight, the queen of of the Puntabugang, Michelle M. faced off against the queen of all media, Oprah Winfrey.  In what many thought would be a difficult match, Oprah queefed all the way to an easy knockout, when Michelle M. destroyed her with 87% of the popular vote.  In Round 2, Michelle M. faced off against two worthy opponents: Captain Kirk and Polt.  With firsts of fury, Michelle M. easily trounced the two with 66% of the popular vote.  Michelle M. has recently adopted a gluten-free diet… with this help or hurt her?  And with Cooper at her side, how will she stand up against “The Kid” and FDot?

These two don’t stand a chance. I mean, c’mon, I defeated Kirk. With one arm tied behind my back. There is no way that Fdot is ready to face me in the ring – he should just stay in the kitchen where he belongs. Those chocolate chip cookies aren’t going to make themselves. As for Kristin, face it, I’m older and I have more insurance.TOWANDA!!!!

In her C&R Fight Club Round 1 battle, Tam’s little princess, “The Kid” faced off again pop princess, Rebecca Black.  With the assistance of her trusty steed, Sprinkles the Pony, “The Kid” defeated Black with just 59% of the popular vote.  In Round 2, “The Kid” faced off against John and her own mother — and managed to defeat them both with 80% of the popular vote.  “The Kid” is known for her movie references, hammering the refresh button, and she’s not afraid to beat up her own mother.  But does she stand a chance against FDot and Michelle M.?

If you think adding a third person to this fight will phase me, think again. After being a thirteen man cage match in the underground back in ’97 there ain’t a chance that I’ll lose. I’m fierce and have put on over 10kilos of muscle from training with the highest class of security guards around. I’m strong, I’m tough and I’m god’s unwanted child. I plan on taking this ring by storm and not only will I tear up the competition I’ll tear out the ring, the crowd and anything that’s within the square kilometer. Just call me the Hulk because once I’m in the ring I’m ready to explode.

In his C&R Fight Club Round 1, ‘Fan Favorite‘ FDot faced off against ‘Fan Favorite’ Tom Hanks.  FDot proved that there can only be on favorite when he defeated Tom Hanks with 67% of the popular vote.  In Round 2, FDot faced off against a dynamic duo of opponents: Paul and VUBOQ.  With just 46% of the popular vote, FDot managed to defeat them both.  FDot is known for his powerful trash-talking ability and chocolate chip cookie bribery … but will that be enough to beat “The Kid” and Michelle M.?  We will soon see…

So this week I have to face off against Inch High, Private Eye and The Fetus.  No problem.  For starters, Inchy already has a platform here every Monday, so a win for her could only lead to weekly doses of gloating.  The Fetus should be disqualified as she’s not even of voting age yet. Besides, losing is good for a teenager, it builds character.  As an extra precaution, I include pictures to keep Inchy and The Fetus distracted from voting: the world’s most expensive martini, and texting!  I’d also remind the majority of the male population here that I’m single, easy, discreet and have no problem picking up the tab.

Who will win in the battle of  Michelle M. vs. “The Kid” vs. FDot?  There’s only one rational way to decide who will win this battle. We’re putting this no-holds-barred fight to a vote. The poll will be open for approximately 24 hours, and you may vote as many times as you want. That’s right — we’re not blocking repeat votes, so vote now and vote often for your favorite Cocky & Rude Fight Club opponent.

Check back on Sunday for the results!

Thanks to Michelle M., “The Kid” and FDot for your assistance with this post!

C&R Fight Club Round 2: Paul vs. VUBOQ vs. FDot!

Welcome to Cocky & Rude Fight Club: ROUND TWO!  The rules to the game are simple.  Each week we’ll re-introduce our fighters.  We’ll give them each a chance to speak their mind.  Then we’ll put the results to vote.  You’ll pick which combatant will decimate their opponent in the knock-down, drag-out brawl of Cocky & Rude Fight Club! Let’s meet this week’s fighters…


Each week of Round Two, we’ll drop three Round One winners into the ring and see who remains standing after a 24-hour Cocky & Rude Fight Club vote.  Today’s contestants are: Paul, VUBOQ & FDot.


Paul was our only contestant to face off against a destructive natural disaster.  Back on May 26th, Paul defeated a tornado in the C&R Fight Club battle of Swirl vs. Swirl with an impressive 93% of the popular vote.

Wow, this match up reminds me of the fight scene in Star Trek: Generations.  Three old guys, beating the crap out of each other in the rocky desert.  Since I am obviously the Malcolm McDowell in this battle, I will concede to my two opponents.  Now everyone had to decide who the “Kirk” is. -Paul

Can one man defeat Donnie Wahlberg, Danny Wood, Joey McIntyre, Jordan Knight, Jonathan Knight, Brian Littrell, Nick Carter, A. J. McLean, & Howie Dorough?  Of course he can!  In his C&R Fight Club bout, VUBOQ faced off against NKOTBSB (the New Kids on the Block / Backstreet Boys super group).  VUBOQ destroyed the nine boy-banders with 88% of the popular vote.

I’m really bad at trash talk.  So, um, I guess I’ll win because Paul and FDot seem really nice and I’m not really nice.  So there.  Take that. -VUBOQ

In the epic battle of Fan Favorite vs. Fan Favorite, we pitted Hollywood’s Tom Hanks against Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 2 Fan Favorite, FDot.  It was a struggle until the end, but FDot managed to beat the highest all time box office star with 67% of the popular vote.

Ok. Let’s see….. My competition is a guy who grew facial hair in an homage to Star Trek and a guy who consumes so much homemade hooch he addresses his blog posts to juvenile cats. Is there any need to trash talk? I just have to sit back and wait. Paul’s good counterpart will beam him back to the Terran Empire while VUBOQ’s operation will shortly be shut down by a joint task-force involving Uncle Jesse and Boss Hogg. As for myself, in case anyone has forgotten what my homemade chocolate chip cookies taste like, a win in Fight Club will surely allow me to refresh some people’s memories. That, and I’m awesome. -FDot


Who will win in the battle of  Paul vs. VUBOQ vs. FDot?  There’s only one rational way to decide who will win this battle. We’re putting this no-holds-barred fight to a vote. The poll will be open for approximately 24 hours, and you may vote as many times as you want. That’s right — we’re not blocking repeat votes, so vote now and vote often for your favorite Cocky & Rude Fight Club opponent.

Check back on Sunday for the results!

Thanks to Michelle M., Paul & VUBOQ for your assistance with this post!