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It’s National HIV Testing Day 2012 … Have You Ever Been Tested?!

Today is National HIV Testing Day 2012! NHTD was founded in 1995 to spread the message of ‘Take the Test, Take Control’ across the country. Have you ever been tested for HIV? Let’s find out.

The rules are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

Have You Ever…

1. Have you ever worn an AIDS Awareness pin or red ribbon?
2. Have you ever been tested or checked for an STD?
3. Have you ever been anonymously tested for HIV?
4. Have you ever been tested by your family doctor for HIV?
5. Have you ever encouraged a friend to be tested for HIV?
6. Have you ever gone with a friend to get tested for HIV?
7. Have you ever encouraged a sexual partner to be tested for HIV?
8. Have you ever gone with a sexual partner to get tested for HIV?
9. Have you ever had a partner ask you to get an HIV test?
10. Have you ever dated someone who tested positive for HIV?
11. Have you ever stopped dating someone because they tested positive for HIV?
12. Have you ever refused to have protected sexual relations with a partner until they were tested for HIV?
13. Have you ever refused to have unprotected sexual relations with a partner until they were tested for HIV?
14. Have you ever had protected sex with someone whose HIV status you didn’t know?
15. Have you ever had unprotected sex with someone whose HIV status you didn’t know?
16. Have you ever had sexual relations with someone you knew was HIV+?
17. Have you ever had sexual relations with someone you later found out was HIV+?
18. Have you ever been concerned that you had HIV based upon banal symptoms (common cold, or something)?
19. Have you ever had an HIV scare? (You thought that you might test positive)
20. Have you ever had a false positive HIV test?
21. Have you ever been tested positive for HIV?
22. Have you ever had a friend or family member who is HIV+?
23. Have you ever lost a friend or family member to an AIDS related illness?
24. Have you ever lost a (current or former) partner to an AIDS related illness?
25. Have you ever played Adventures in Sex City to learn more about sexual health?

Find out more about the National HIV Testing Day 2012 at NAPWA.org.

Thanks to Craig & Mikey for your help with this post!



Happy Birthday Michelle M.!

Today is a very special day … it’s Michelle M.’s Birthday!
From all of your friends, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!


A Limerick:

We all know her as Michelle M.
We think her to be quite the gem.
But I have been told
She’s getting quite old,
So it’s time to start calling her “ma’am.”

– Jere



Wishing you a mouth-watering birthday!
-David P.





-Tam


Happy Birthday to one of my favorite people ever, Cooper’s mom and Wonder Women fan….
Michelle M.!!!! I hope you have the most awesome Birthday ever because you deserve it!!
xoxo
– TJ and the doggies (Cooper’s Compadres)



Happy Birthday! From X-Heather and TwoPi


A Haiku About Michelle

The best in our books
Happy Birthday To Michelle
Hail Wonder Woman

– Kristen



Ode to Her Awesomeness
By Craig

What could one possibly say,
About the delectable Michelle M?
If she were a dessert,
She’d be la crème de la crème.

She lives in California,
All the way on the West Coast.
She’s the Cocky & Rude writer,
That us readers love the most.

She never met a head,
She couldn’t put on another body.
Don’t let her sweet looks fool you,
For her mouth is quite a potty.

With those flowing golden locks,
Like a superhero’s cape.
It begs that age old question,
Does the carpet match the drapes?

Her husband is a sexy beast,
Who likes pizza and canned beer.
There’s not a single gay around,
Who doesn’t wish that he was queer.

Wonder Woman is her idol,
And Cooper is her bird.
I don’t know who she loves most,
But Harry’s definitely in third.

So today is her birthday,
Hope she have lots of fun.
Happy Birthday Michelle M!
Congrats on turning twenty one!


Dear Michelle,
I heard it was your birthday so I wanted to send you a short note. I hope you have a wonderful day and that you don’t divorce your husband so you can marry a politician and then your ex marries a skinny little waif and then you can’t stop eating because you hate your life and you are fighting with your kids and your mother-in-law thinks you are useless and then you become the fattest woman in Westchester and then you can’t wear any of your clothes and then you feel so worried that you will eat up all your kids and then you will worry that Gene might be too small and gamey to be palatable and then your daughter hates you because you want to go skiing and she goes to her dad’s and get’s her period and then she comes back to you and whines and you are thinking “hurry up and have a baby so I can eat it.” Can I eat your cake?
Love, Fat Betty


HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
From Mikey & Ty


Happy birthday to the most creative, talented, elfin proportioned person I know!
Happy Birthday Michelle!
Have a great day and best wishes for the coming year! -John


Ok, I know that Harry and Craiggers are gonna get real jealous here, but I got only one question for Michelle M.:

I Wonder Woman, are you my kinda woman?
Wit a back like that you fly like jets
Are you my Wonder Woman?

te quiero,
mr. sombrero


Happy Birthday Michelle M.!!! I decided to celebrate your birthday by mixing
my two favorite things: you, and my favorite albums!!! -Enrico



HAPPY BIRTHDAY

MICHELLE!!!!


Have You Ever … Had Poor Etiquette?!

How are you celebrating National Etiquette Week (May 14th – May 18th)?  Have you been kind to everyone in your life … even those smelly strangers?  Is your life bursting at the seams with love, respect and good manners?  Or maybe you’re a awful, nasty c-bag to everyone in your life.  Either way, we’re about to find out!

The rules are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

Have You Ever?!

1. Have you ever been late?
2. Have you ever forgotten to introduce a date, friend or acquaintance to a group of new people?
3. Have you ever regifted a gift?
4. Have you ever forgotten to RSVP?
5. Have you ever taken the last bit of coffee and not made a new pot at work?
6. Have you ever commented negatively about someone on Facebook?
7. Have you ever farted in a public place?
8. Have you ever smoked a cigarette really close to non-smokers?
9. Have you ever cut in line?
10. Have you ever remained seated on public transportation when a disabled or elderly person was forced to stand?
11. Have you ever hogged a sidewalk so no one could pass you?
12. Have you ever clipped your nails (or otherwise groomed yourself) in public?
13. Have you ever engaged in excessive PDA?
14. Have you ever hit all the buttons in an elevator?
15. Have you ever let the doors close instead of holding an elevator for someone?
16. Have you ever skipped the tip at a restaurant?
17. Have you ever made a lot of noise in a quiet movie theater?
18. Have you ever left pubes, pee, poo or any other mess in or on a public toilet without cleaning it up?
19. Have you ever coughed or sneezed onto someone else?
20. Have you ever had a conversation with someone on speakerphone in a public place?
21. Have you ever used profanity in front of children in a public place?
22. Have you ever talked with your mouth full?
23. Have you ever behaved rudely at the gym? (not wiping off machines, monopolizing machines, etc.)
24. Have you ever not held the door for someone when entering or exiting a store?
25. Have you ever stared at someone’s boobs instead of their face when they were talking to you?

Tell us your total in the comments!


It’s The Cocky & Rude Match Game! (3.01)















Have You Ever … At A Grocery Store?!

If you’re like me, you’re always stopping by the local grocery store to pick up a few things. I’m probably there at least twice a week. They’re wonderful places that tout a huge selection of fresh produce, meats (if you’re into that sort of thing), dairy (ditto), packaged foods, health and beauty aids, and just about anything else that you can imagine. But what have you been up to at the grocery store? We’re about to find out.

You know the rules: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

Have You Ever?!

1. Have you ever worked at a grocery store?
2. Have you ever used the restroom at a grocery store?
3. Have you ever tasted food (grapes, bakery items, etc.) and not paid for it?
4. Have you ever accidentally swapped carts with another shopper?
5. Have you ever hit someone with your cart?
6. Have you ever just left your cart in the parking lot instead of returning it to a cart return or to the front of the store?
7. Have you ever realized that you didn’t have enough money to pay for your groceries at the check-out counter and had to select some items to leave out of your purchase?
8. Have you ever used an express line or self-checkout line with more than the allowed number of items?
9. Have you ever returned any items to a grocery store for a refund?
10. Have you ever purchased a big-ticket item (electronics, lawn furniture, etc.) from a grocery store?
11. Have you ever stolen something from a grocery store?
12. Have you ever broken something that required an employee to clean it up?
13. Have you ever purposefully broken or damaged merchandise at a grocery store?
14. Have you ever knocked over a display at a grocery store?
15. Have you ever consumed a meal inside a grocery store (whether or not they had a prepared food and seating area)?
16. Have you ever avoided someone that you know at a grocery store so you didn’t have to talk to them?
17. Have you ever purchased discounted merchandise at a grocery store that is nearly spoiled or expired?
18. Have you ever abandoned merchandise where it doesn’t belong at a grocery store?
19. Have you ever hid an embarrassing item (condoms, hemorrhoid cream, etc.) under other items in your cart?
20. Have you ever gotten a rain check at a grocery store?
21. Have you ever knowingly tried to use expired coupons at a grocery store?
22. Have you ever been the cause of a checkout line slow-down (Price check, unusual coupon, unreadable bar code, etc.)?
23. Have you ever yelled at a grocery store employee?
24. Have you ever asked a grocery store employee or another customer out on a date?
25. Have you ever had (any form of) sex in a grocery store?

It’s time to fess up! Tell us your total in the comments.