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Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3: Week 8

Our seventh week is complete! Today our contestants celebrate seven weeks into the cockiest and rudest weight loss competition evahhhh! It’s Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3!

Temptation is something that plagues every dieter.  Whether it’s food, laziness, or something else — sometimes it’s all you’re thinking about when you should be eating healthy and exercising.  What tempts our contestants?  We’re about to find out!


Michelle M.
It doesn’t take much to tempt me away from exercising. But the couch/television and internet are the worst offenders. “All I wanna do is stay home and eat chips” – little Mackenzie (my favorite) from Dance Moms.


Polt
So this week’s theme is Temptation: what’s tempting me. Well, I’ve not had many chips in the last month, and I used to have them with nearly every meal, so they’re kinda tempting. And what do chips go best with but a delicious sub? Yeah, I’d like to have one of those, thick roll piled high with meat, mayo, lettuce, onions….yum. But what’s REALLY tempting me? PASTA! I’d give my left nut for a big bowl of fettuccine, covered in sauce and loaded with meatballs. YUM! For me now, pasta is the face of evil, tempting me so, yet SO wrong for me!


TwoPi
“I always avoid temptation, unless I can’t resist it.” Looking for images related to this quote, I stumbled on the cover of the sheet music for “Ev’rybody Shimmies Now”, which I can’t help but hear being sung by the Beach Boys. Apparently the Shimmy was a popular dance in the 1920s. Sorry, I got distracted. What is the theme again? Oh. I guess I’m tempted by the idea of the Beach Boys recording Mae West songs.


Tam
So, my biggest weakness is the damn computer. I’m either reading, writing something, or surfing the net. Sigh. I should be going for a walk, doing my laundry, something that actually requires burning more calories than typing. As for food weaknesses, lately it’s been ice-cream. (Not the Starbucks but the picture was close. I hate Starbuck.) It’s not a good thing when Ben & Jerry’s is on sale. I can resist when it’s $7/container, but $4 … not so much. Doesn’t help that this week is water retention week. Stupid girl problems.


Ryan
This past week they’ve been having food trucks come to our offices. This has disrupted my diet not only because I’m probably eating more than I normally would for lunch but also because the difficulty of figuring out how much I ate discourages me from making sure what I have for the rest of the day fits within my calorie ranges.


Mr. Sombrero
Dear PB, you suck! I love you. That about sums it up.


Mikey
My temptation of the moment is pizza. I have given in to it twice this past week, which explains why I am fatter today than I was last week. 😦 Anyway…I vow (again!) to resist temptation again. OH and to get off my fat butt and work out.


Adam
All I want is a cookie — ALL I WANT IS A COOKIE!! Why are vegan cookies still so bad for you? I haven’t had cookies in forevz (at least 2 days) and I still cannot seem to lose any weight. It’s pathetic! I’m just awful!!


And now the week’s results:

Stay tuned each Thursday for the stunning weight-loss success stories of our eight contestants. Who will win this year’s competition? Find out on May 31st … just in time for bikini season!

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SICK.

This past week I have been sick, sick, sick. I haven’t been this sick since I taught preschool (where I got sick on a weekly basis). The sickness started with chills, fatigue and nausea and a fever. Then the coughing started. So I went to the store, got some cold medicine, came home and conked out. Being sick stinks. Sure, you get to stay home and laze around, but you can’t really enjoy it if you’re coughing up a lung. There are some things that make it bearable, though. Here are a few of mine:

Canada Dry Ginger ale with ice (or 7up in a pinch, but not Schweppes, that stuff is nasty)

Clean sheets

Orange Popsicles (the ones made with real juice)

Granny Smith apple slices

my hot water bottle

Saltine Crackers

Homemade chicken noodle soup

A stack of library books

Television

Honey Lemon cough drops (cherry is disgusting)

I don’t have one of these, but it would certainly come in handy…

And a little TLC

Those are some of the things that make me feel better when I’m under the weather. What makes you feel better when you’re sick? Would you rather have someone take care of you, or do you like to be left alone? Let me know in comments!

It’s The Friday Five!

C&R’s last crowdsourced Friday Five was such a hit that I’ve decided to do it again.  Here’s your Friday Five!

From Polt: What did I love about this week?  Freshly laundered bedsheets, still warm from the dryer.  Slapping these little slices of heaven right on the bed and then sliding between them, rolling onto your side, pulling the sheet up to your nose and making yourself a little cocoon of warm, comfy, lavender-scented awesomeness is one of life’s greatest pleasures!  Next to a night with three Asians with hairthings spent on those sheets.  Yeah, that would be better.

From Tam: My new favourite thing is PC Caramelized Red Onion Chutney. At our house we hate mustard and we hate mayonnaise, so sometimes sandwiches are a little dry, but since I discovered this product … *swoon*. The description: With a fusion of English-style malt vinegar and Italian balsamic vinegar of Modena, along with brown sugar, herbs, spices, and slow-cooked caramelized onions, our zesty chutney adds a dash of vibrancy to your dishes. Imported from United Kingdom.  Doesn’t that sound yummy? I guess the imported thing explains the price, a bit steep, but worth every cent to liven up my sandwich. I see they use butter in it so it’s not vegan. Sorry Adam.

From Craig: M&Ms – Growing up in my parents house, Mom always kept bowls of red and green M&Ms scattered around the house around Christmas. (For our Canadian readers, M&Ms are like your Smarties but a million and a half times better.) I carried the tradition over to my new place for my first Christmas on my own and it was fantastic. Easy access to M&Ms at all times with no one but myself to eat them? Yes please! Even after the Christmas season ended, and all the red and green M&Ms had made their way through my toilet and into your drinking water, I’ve kept the tradition alive by keeping original M&Ms on my coffee table at all times. Not only are they extremely delicious, but they add a splash of color to my drab earth toney living room!

From Mikey: So there was this thing called the Super Bowl on Sunday.  You might have heard of it.  Well anyway, before the game aired NBC ran a commercial/promo wishing everyone a Happy Super Bowl.  Sure this sounds like typical network TV fare for the most watched event of the year.  What made this one amazing was the fact that someone (most likely Tina Fey) got a bunch of the stars of NBC’s shows together to sing and dance to “Brotherhood of Man” from How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying.  The result…magic.  And GAY magic, which only happens during Madonna Super Bowls.

From Michelle M.: A federal appeals court ruled against California’s voter-approved ban on same-sex marriage (Prop 8) on Tuesday. Finally.

This week’s runners up: the state of Washington, The premier of Smash, slow cookers, painting bottles, Dance Moms (last weeks competition took place at East Islip High School!), Happy Endings, Archie Panjabi, The River, cat breading and hardcore gay pornography.

My New BFF!


While some of you were digging out your umbrellas, battening down the hatches, and stocking up on bottled water, candles and Cheetos, Harry and I were on our way to see Kathy Griffin in concert!


I made a shirt for the occasion. This is my first foray into bedazzling. Yes, I know the “I” is crooked.


On our way to Costa Mesa.


It’s so great to be back in California! Colorado sucked.


We got into a little traffic on our way.


Yay! “Pop Music” by M.


Shout out to the Oldz (you know who you are).


I got hungry and needed a snack.


We had dinner at Gordon Biersch. Beer for Harry and a caramel martini for me. Yum!


I had the chicken curry lettuce cups (ok, but not very spicy – and the dish needed some lime).
Harry had a sausage party.


We had to pay for parking!! Don’t they know who we are?!! Sheesh.


On the way in we saw Team Griffin – or as Kathy calls them, “her gays”. It was cool to see them in person after seeing them with her on the My Life on the D-List, Same Name, and other shows.


We were second row, it was too awesome.


Kathy had tweeted that this was what she was going to wear, but really she wore black pants, a black shirt with a belt and flats. She is super tiny and has a Scarlett O’ Hara waist.

We went to the first show that night. They were taping both shows for a Bravo special to air in the middle of September. Kathy’s mom Maggie came out (with a glass of wine) to say a few words and introduce Kathy. She got a standing ovation and was adorable. Kathy was hilarious, of course. Some of her bits included the Kardashians, Cher, Anderson Cooper, The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Marcus Bachman and Casey Anthony.

Harry (best husband ever) won a contest on Kathy’s blog to meet her between shows! So we hustled around to the back of the theater and then waited in a room backstage with 16 other people for a meet and greet. She only had a few minutes, so she wasn’t signing autographs. She was there just long enough to give hugs and take pictures. She was warm, engaging and super sweet to everyone.


I told her my cheeks still hurt from smiling and she said, “Thanks, that means I’m doing my job.”
She liked my shirt. As you can see we are totally bff!


She had done a bit about how she walks down the street and eyef*cks all the guys, so I asked her to eyef*ck Harry – and she did! I also asked her if she watched Dance Moms, and she said, “Of course.” I should have said something better, but I was an excited mess. Then she was ushered back out the door. It was all a blur and over way too soon. Kathy’s one of those people I would love to sit down and have a long chat with. I LOVE her.


Before the long drive home, Harry and I stopped at The Yardhouse and shared a brownie with ice cream (Diet? What diet?).

Other than briefly shaking James Taylor’s hand before one of his concerts, this was my first celebrity encounter. I couldn’t have asked for a better one!

So – did I not have the best night ever? What would you have said to Kathy? What celebrity would you love to meet? Let me know in the comments!