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True Confessions

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10 Reasons Why Penises Are Gross!

Let’s face it.  Vaginas aren’t the only sex organs that are gross.  Penises are also pretty dang disgusting!  And after such a fantastic response from my 10 Reasons Why Vaginas Are Gross post last month, it’s only fair to turn the tables.  Here’s 10 reasons why penises are also gross:

1. They dangle between your legs and look like the bastard cousin of an elephant trunk!

2. They often hang a bit to one side.

3. They shrink when it’s cold!

4. They get bigger and rigid when they’re happy … what’s the deal with that?

5. When they get really happy, they squirt!

6. Pee comes out of them!

7. Some of them are wearing turtlenecks, and some of them
look like funny-looking mushrooms.

8. If they’re not properly washed, they can be smelly and covered with smegma!
And don’t get me started on sweaty balls!  Eww!

9. WTF is the deal with balls?  They’re hairy and weird looking!

10. They dangle in the toilet when take take a poo!

Oh who am I kidding?  This list was hard to come up with because penises are great!  I take it all back!