Tag Archives: cold

Biggest C&R Loser 2013


Welcome to the 4th week of Biggest C&R Loser 2013! This year we’ll be keeping all of the results and placings secret until the end of the contest. We’ll also be pooling our cash to award the 2013 winner the largest prize we’ve ever awarded … a whopping $40!  This week’s theme is “EXERCISE” — How have our contestants changed their exercise habits?  What are they doing to stay in shape? Are any of them even trying? Here’s what they had to say:

Michelle M.


Well, so far I haven’t been exercising at all. I have been thinking about getting Zumba. Someone was selling it fairly cheap on Craigslist, but it was snapped up before I could buy it. I’m still on the look-out for it. In the meantime I’ve been thinking about walking around the neighborhood lake…



Have I exercised any differently since this started? Well I’m writing these blurbs each week…so that is different. Other than that I have not really changed what I’m doing exercise wise. I know this has to change, but if there is something I hate more than exercise I haven’t found it.

Mr. Sombrero

photo 2

I haven’t had much success with athletic activities recently. But in two weeks fitness classes start at work again. So I’m looking forward to squeeze in some calisthenics and yoga time. In the meantime, I’ll exercise by eye rolling every time Amanda Bynes does something stupid.




I haven’t really been exercising at all. It’s ridiculously cold outside (below -40 tonight!) and I’ve mainly been changing my eating habits.


This week’s I’m to talk about my exercise…or lack thereof. I’m actually trying to get back to walking every 2-3 days instead of every 4-5 days like it has been. But really with as cold as it’s been, I don’t see myself walking much at all until it warms up. This will be me during the cold snap:


Now, if only I had a purple sofa to eat my popcorn on.



Yeah. That pic pretty much sums it up. Today I will blame it on the frigid -40 temps, but that doesn’t explain last week when it was above freezing. Bah. It was a crappy week for me contest-wise. So let’s just move on people, nothing to see here. *beached whale*



Exercise? It is on my to-do list. I’m currently working on physical therapy, then will start on the exercise bike, and once I’ve built up some stamina the plan is to hit the Y. But I haven’t been a total slug, I’ve been going to the YMCA regularly! Mostly just to watch my kid’s swim class, though.



It’s effing cold outside and I haven’t exercised at all. Scratch that … I’ve been chewing a lot. Nom nom nom!


Where Should Nathan Go On Vacation?

Late last week, Nathan contacted me with a post idea. It seems that he has a week off in July and has no clue what to do and where to go on vacation. Here are my ten suggestions:

Stay in Canada! Canada is a beautiful wasteland of ice and snow. Who wouldn’t want to spend some free time exploring an iceberg, making snowmen, adding unnecessary u’s to words, and napping inside of an igloo! The temperature never goes above freezing in Canada!  Slap on your formal wear and have a ball!

Why not spend a week in wonderful Baghdad, Iraq! The largest city in Iraq is home to political unrest, massive troop withdrawals and startling civil rights violations. Who wouldn’t want to visit Baghdad? I hear that they have the best gay clubs in all of the Middle East!

How about a week in North Korea? Spend your time with the new supreme leader, Kim Jong-un! Try your hand at designing weapons of mass destruction, try on a huge selection of Kim Jong-il‘s high heeled shoes, and threaten to start World War III! And that’s all just in the first day!

How about a tour of Chernobyl, Ukraine? Tour the disintegrating nuclear sarcophagus, sample the local radioactive cuisine, and dance the night away with all the local mutants! You’ll leave Chernobyl with a “healthy” green glow that all your friends will be jealous of!

How about a lovely hike near Moab, Utah? While you’re there, make sure to get your arm stuck under a rock … and spend the next 127 hours practicing your survival skills!

Why not spend a week in sunny Afghanistan? Tour the expansive deserts (but watch out for IEDs!) or spend a few days hiding in a cave. For an extra few hundred bucks you can attend a actual terrorist training camp!

Spend a week exploring Antarctica! Antarctica, on average, is the coldest, driest, and windiest continent, and has the highest average elevation of all the continents. I can’t think of a better place to slap on some eyeliner and PAR-TAY!

What, you haven’t heard of Centralia, Pennsylvania? All properties in the borough were claimed under eminent domain by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania in 1992 (and all buildings therein were condemned), and Centralia’s ZIP code was revoked by the Post Office in 2002. Why? Because the mines below the surface are expected to be on fire for the next 250 years! Get yer tan on in Centralia!

None of those vacations are ticking your fancy? Then how about fabulous Somalia? Since the outbreak of the Somali Civil War in 1991 there has been no central government control over most of the country’s territory. But that can’t stop the bustling tourism business! Spend a day working as an actual Somali slumlord or reenact scenes Black Hawk Down!

If all else fails, you can always spend a week in the pink! Fat Betty’s anus is a warm and inviting … but be warned, when it’s poo-time, you’ll feel like you’re standing in the middle of the busiest highway in North America. She eats a lot, and yes, she poops a lot.

Those are my 10 best suggestions! Do you have a favorite, or maybe you have some ideas of your own? Help Nathan in the comments!

It’s Michelle & Adam’s Friday Five!

Guess what?  It’s Friday!  Yippie Skippy!  This week Michelle and I decided to each contribute 2.5 Friday favorites to everyone’s favorite Cocky & Rude Friday feature: It’s The Friday Five!

1) American Horror Story. (Michelle) Why are there flies on those apples…? My favorite show of the new season!  The storyline keeps moving along with neat little twists. Last night’s was fantastic – too bad I had already read about it on the internet :(. Jessica Lange plays my favorite character. She does a wonderful job playing someone you love to hate and hate to love. Tate and Moira are other characters that tread the line between sympathetic and despicable. Guest spots by Mena Suvari, Zachary Quinto and Eric Stonestreet keep the show fresh. And there’s just the right amount of gruesome to satisfy this horror fan. If you’re not watching, you should be.

2) Hot chocolate. (Michelle) Hurray! It’s hot chocolate season. I like to throw a couple Hershey’s kisses in mine to make it extra chocolatey. And a splash of peppermint schnapps doesn’t hurt either.

3) This. (Michelle)

3.5) This. (Adam) (Even though everyone has already seen it because I shared it on Facebook.) (And even though it’s missing an apostrophe.)  It’s so funny!

4) The Hunger Games trilogy. (Adam) Mikey raved about it … so I decided to give it a chance.  Ever since I graduated from college (with a bachelor’s degree in English) I’ve strayed away from that whole ‘reading’ thing.  I few books here and there, but overall I’m a book burnout.  I started reading the first book in Montreal and (according to my Kindle) I’m now 61% of the way through the third.  It’s a lot of fun (even though it’s a young adult series) and I can’t wait for the movie!  Have you seen the trailer yet?  It looks sooooo good!

5) Chinese Food. (Adam) I recently discovered that my local Chinese Restaurant’s recipes for vegetable lo mein and  spring rolls are vegan (or so they claim), and now I can’t get enough!  Noodles, broccoli, weird looking mushrooms that they probably found growing in the sludge next to the dumpster, assorted other mystery vegetables … omg!  Spring rolls stuffed with random nondescript and often colorless vegetables all coated in a crispy deep-fried shell?  PLUS they claim that it’s all “healthy” Chinese food!  Who cares if they’re lying?  Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom!!

Runners Up This Week: staying in bed until 5 minutes before you’re supposed to leave for work (because the bed is warm and the apartment is cold) and then running around like a maniac to get ready, snuggling with Spring until she attacks, getting surprise gifts in the mail from Michelle M., getting calendars in the mail from Polt, Beavis & Butt-Head, and of course: hardcore gay pornography.

Tam’s Twitter Adventures!

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C&R Fight Club: THE MUFFIN MAN vs. RYAN!

Welcome to Cocky & Rude Fight Club!  The rules to the game are simple.  Each week we’ll introduce our fighters.  We’ll do the leg work and help you analyze their strengths and weaknesses.  Then we’ll put the results to vote.  You’ll pick which combatant will decimate their opponent in the knock-down, drag-out brawl of Cocky & Rude Fight Club! Let’s meet this week’s fighters…


AKA / Alias / Nicknames: Mister Muffin
Date of Birth: 1820
Place of Birth: England
Nationality: British
Hair Color: dark, balding
Current Residence: Drury Lane
Relationship Status: unknown
Occupations (current and/or past): Baker, Man
Height & Weight: unknown
Favorite song: The Muffin Man
Favorite Food: muffins
Favorite Muffin Flavor: all
Favorite Cupcake Flavor: none
Known for: baking muffins, living on Drury Lane
Catch Phrases: “Do you know the Muffin Man?”
Claim to Fame: living on Drury Lane
Favorite curse word: Drury

Do [or “Oh, do”] you know the muffin man, The muffin man, the muffin man, Do you know the muffin man, Who lives in Drury Lane?  Yes [or “Oh, yes”], I know the muffin man, The muffin man, the muffin man, Yes, I know the muffin man, Who lives in Drury Lane.  The Muffin Man’s secret weapons include: an endless supply of muffin, ovens set to 350°, cast iron muffin pans, and a mustache.


AKA / Alias / Nicknames: Cupcake, Ryan With A Cupcake
Date of Birth: 12/15/1981
Place of Birth: Rochester, MN
Nationality: United States
Hair Color: Brown
Current Residence: La Jolla, CA
Relationship Status: Single
Occupations (current and/or past): Student
Height & Weight: 6’5″ & 81% of January 1st Ryan
Favorite Song: The Downtown Fiction – Thanks for Nothing
Favorite Food: Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream
Favorite Muffin Flavor: Apple Cinnamon
Favorite Cupcake Flavor: Red Velvet
Known for: Geeking out over physics/science, buying things Craig likes (except Transformers), picture of an insane robot dog
Favorite curse word: Bollocks

Hailing from sunny California, Ryan spends his days geeking out over science that mere mortals (like us) will never ever begin to comprehend.  He describes his accent as “Canadian according to a Mexican and not noticeable according to someone who was transiently in Minnesota.”  Ryan was born in Minnesota, spent a brief portion of his childhood living in the land of cheese, and later moved to California to avoid the extreme heat and cold of the Midwest.  He considers himself a cat person (although he does own a cat).  Ryan’s secret weapons include an extensive knowledge of physics, an endless supply of cupcakes and cupcake icing, and an insane robot dog.

Who will win in the battle of  MUFFIN vs. CUPCAKE?  Will the Muffin Man beat Ryan over the head with a cast iron muffin pan?  Or will Ryan defeat the Muffin Man with the powers of science?  There’s only one rational way to decide which fighter will win this battle. We’re putting this no-holds-barred fight to a vote. The poll will be open for approximately 24 hours, and you may vote as many times as you want. That’s right — we’re not blocking repeat votes, so vote now and vote often for your favorite Cocky & Rude Fight Club opponent.

Check back on Sunday for the results!

Thanks to both Ryan & Michelle M. for your assistance with this post!

The Friggin' Five

It is finally friggin’ Friday and I finally have five friggin’ things to celebrate this week. Why is everything “friggin'” this week? I’ll tell you why when I’m friggin’ done writing the friggin’ post.

Up friggin’ first is the official start to awards season. Some people think the holiday season starts after Thanksgiving, but not for me. The real holiday season doesn’t start for me until they start announcing all the annual awards. With both the Golden Globes and the Screen Actors Guild awards being announced this week, I am feel like a little boy on Christmas morning again. I love seeing the nominated movies and making my pics. Just you wait for the Oscars!

What more can you friggin’ want than that? Well how about an incredibly hilarious and inventive mash-up of Doctor Who and Star Wars? A co-worker shared this clip with me earlier this week and I was so geeked out that I couldn’t even speak. Watch and learn.

Now that you have seen the geekiest thing to ever hit the planet, let’s talk about the friggin’ weather. I friggin’ love the cold and I am super excited about the impending snow. There is nothing better than getting all wrapped up in a hat, scarf, gloves and wool coat to head out into the brisk wintery weather. Who is with me?

Wow…that was friggin’ awkward. Something else awkward is the friggin’ awful film abomination of Yogi Bear. I don’t even need to see it to know how painful it must be sit through. Whoever thought of doing that should be taken outside and tanned. The person who made this parody of that movie deserves to win a friggin’ award. That makes the Yogi Bear alternative ending one of the five this week.

That ended friggin’ well, because it put us all out of our misery. Our friggin’ final of the friggin’ five is a bit of a confession on my part. I love Christmas music. There. I wrote it. All day long I have been listening to it and it just makes me smile. My favorite albums are Charlie Brown, Ella Wishes You A Swingin’ Christmas and Bing Crosby’s Merry Christmas. I know that this makes me the subject of much shame, but that is the friggin’ truth.

You friggin’ made it. Now you get to know why this was the friggin’ five. It was the friggin’ five because I like the word friggin’. Just deal. Have a great weekend friends, but first share your five with the rest of us or we will feel friggin’ left out.

Just Another Manic Monday

Halloween is over! That means the real holidays begin!!

Isn’t everyone really excited for pie season? Pumpkin? Apple? Pear? Peach…well not peach, but you know what I mean! I know that Adam is really excited about them.

Babies are the most adorable thing since forever! I was at a party with a baby on Saturday night and he made me get in touch with my crazy nesting instincts. If anyone wants to make a baby, please let me know.

Don’t you love the fact that it is cold again outside? I love the fall! I know I’ve mentioned it on the blog before, but fall is amazing. Leaves changing colors and falling off trees and the air is lovely, cold and brisk.

Aren’t you glad that baseball is almost over? I know we still have to put up with football, but the stupid stick and ball thing is done. I can safely say that I don’t care who wins just that they shut up about it.

Are you all watching Modern Family? It is the funniest show I’ve seen in forever. How did I not watch it last year? How can then they make me laugh at every word? I now know that I am going as a gargul next year for Halloween.

Weren’t you all really disappointed with Glee‘s attempt at Rocky Horror? Heavy Sweating, really? Ick.

Do you have your ballot figured out for Tuesday’s election? My prediction is that the Democrats lose the House but barely keep the Senate. Sooo in short, Obama will have an excuse for not getting anything done now.

My feet are cold. Literally not metaphorically. I wish they would be warmer.

Don’t you miss our “have you ever” posts? Adam is really slacking off on thinking up some pervy questions to ask you.

Well those are some of the really random thoughts that are running through my brain today. What thoughts are making your Monday manic?