Thanks to Craig for his assistance with this post!
Thanks to Craig for his assistance with this post!
So I started with my first analysis of the results here at Cocky & Rude and then I posted at my own blog about Gay Porn and Social Networking and now today we’ll touch on exposure to the flesh, sometimes with touching. Ahem.
I asked who had seen some dancing boys, either completely nekkid or with the naught bits covered. I was actually kind of surprised how many hadn’t, or how many hadn’t seen them completely in the buff. My first experience with male stripper was when I was 19. It was a friend’s Mom’s 50th birthday party. Yes, awkward. Anyway, this was way back in the day, ‘cause I’m old as dirt, and in Manitoba no less, and they were completely bare. Huh. Who’d have thought we were so progressive out there on the prairies.
Ok while I can appreciate the skin I just can’t get past the boys that can’t shake their booty – so I would rather watch boys that can dance rather than uncoordinated attempts. – Riley (point taken, have some rhythm white boys)
Some drool worthy in my college days. One gent who was apache had me really drooling. And those guys in NOLA. – SamK (Okay, Andrew in NOLA was pitiful but the others were ‘fine’)
Only once in the total buff, and he wasn’t that good-looking, which sort of spoiled the experience. I’ve seen lots of strippers or go-go dancers in g-strings/jock straps… – Janet (Why was Janet looking above his shoulders?)
I’ve seen both. I sort of prefer them to be not entirely naked. I’m way more about the arms and chest than the peen. – Anon (that’s a point – we all know penises are gross)
Okay, so maybe you’d seen one up there gyrating on the bar and having a good time. Maybe you’ve even touched a bare ass or two in passing. What about something more. Really getting down and dirty. Well, not surprisingly the numbers there are much lower. I’m thinking largely because that may be illegal in most places? Not sure. Anyway, most of us are willing to give it a try though and see if it’s worthwhile. The ladies in the circles I run in are nothing if not open minded.
Once, in passing, in Thailand, and it made me really sad 😦 – Anon (that doesn’t sound fun)
Maybe, oh hell yeah, let me at it? Have watched the men down on Bourbon Street with a gay co-worker. – SamK (How did I miss this in NOLA?)
At a gay club we hadn’t visited before – it was actually pretty good – needless to say we did go back again! But have also seen some pretty bad ones – Riley (Riley, the voice of experience.)
Only if no women are involved. – Ruby Netherlips (True that. I heard some oddly horrific/yet fascinating stories about Japan from a colleague)
Does the Folsom Street Fair count? 🙂 There were all sorts of lovely men doing lovely things to each other, and I have photos to prove it 😉 – Anon (I can’t believe she didn’t share the pics!)
Only reason I haven’t is I’d rather go in the company of a friend, and the opportunity hasn’t come around yet. But on that fine day…! – Willa Okati (author) (We’ll have to work on that Willa.)
A club isn’t my thing. Certainly wouldn’t mind seeing two guys having sex live, though, but outside of a club, not sure how that would come about, lol. – Anon (I believe cash would exchange hands. Maybe if we all chipped in?)
So there you have it. Monday on my blog I’ll have some final thought on WHY we like the all-boy porn. I was so impressed by everyone who answered by poll and shared their personal stories and reasons for their preferences. Not all anon as you note either.
Thanks to C&R for hosting some of my results and for inspiring the survey. It was great fun.
So when Adam and Michelle put out their whiny request saying they were “tired” and “too exhausted” to post this week (wah wah wah) and DESPERATELY wanted guest posts, I thought … what could I, the classy sophisticated woman that I am, write about for a guest post? Of course, the obvious answer was Mikey’s favorite: hardcore gay porn.
Now everyone knows that straight girls only like porn with romantic music and floaty curtains, and soft gentle non-threatening male actors, right? Heh. Yeah. Well, I can’t speak on behalf of all straight girls, only the ones in my little pervy corner of the universe, and that description? Not so much. I decided I would do a survey of a few of my friends who I know enjoy a little man-on-man action, or at least a picture of a nekkid bottom now and then. Well, they told two friends, and they told two friends and so on, and so on. You know the drill. I ended up with 110 responses. Ack! I needed to buy a Survey Monkey pay subscription to access them all.
So what is the story with these women? They’re just looking at artsy pictures right? Well, we’re looking at pictures, I’m not sure how many are “artsy”. Have you been to Tumblr lately? Ahem. 97.3% have a gander at the boys, many on a daily basis, or several times daily, or hourly. Do you know how fast a dashboard moves on that site? Ya gotta keep up or you’ll miss a good one.
Now surely they’re not WATCHING videos. I must be alone in that jungle of testosterone, right? Oh no, I’m not alone. Basically 83% of us girls surveyed like to watch some hot video action, although we are basically cheap and don’t want to pay for it.
Okay, but they’re all single and sad and desperate like me I’m sure. Hmmm. Maybe? 37.6% of us are footloose and fancy free and can watch whatever the hell we want on the internet. But 35.6% have husbands who don’t really care.
I got some interesting comments:
So there you have it. But you’re asking “why?” right? Most people do, even other straight girls. And no, none of us imagine one of the ‘stars’ coming to their senses and sweeping us off our feet. Some of us like to watch straight porn or girl-on-girl as well, but there are a lot of common reasons women don’t like watching porn with other women in it. We are not the target audience. It’s aimed at men and as a rule shows women that men (supposedly) find attractive. The men involved don’t really matter, because straight guys are staring at the women. Straight girls? We’re looking at Ron Jeremy. Ack. If that’s not a freaking turn-off what is? I like to look at attractive men and seriously, you aren’t going to find many in straight porn. So I’ll go where my eye can enjoy the view, doubly, or more.
Here are some of the comments from my survey respondents:
So there you have it folks. In general the reasons why some of us girls like gay porn are: we like men and the way men look; straight porn makes us feel icky or self-conscious; and … it’s just hot. *shrug*
I received so many interesting answers to my questions about porn stars on twitter, live sex shows, strippers and how “out” you are with your habit, that I will definitely be using much of this info for some posts on my own site. Too much great data not to mine for other posts. I admit my survey sample was skewed to those who already have an interest in the subject matter, but it wouldn’t have been nearly as fun otherwise.
I know porn is not for everyone, but if it’s your thing, happy watching.
Welcome to Cocky & Rude Fight Club: ROUND TWO! The rules to the game are simple. Each week we’ll re-introduce our fighters. We’ll give them each a chance to speak their mind. Then we’ll put the results to vote. You’ll pick which combatant will decimate their opponent in the knock-down, drag-out brawl of Cocky & Rude Fight Club! Let’s meet this week’s fighters…
Each week of Round Two, we’ll drop three Round One winners into the ring and see who remains standing after a 24-hour Cocky & Rude Fight Club vote. Today’s contestants are: Ty, Mush & Jere!
Our resident Jeopardy! genius, Ty, faced off against the wheelchair-bound genius, Stephen Hawking on July 7th. The theoretical physicist and cosmologist proved no match for man that tells federal judges what to do, when Ty trounced Hawking with 73% of the popular vote.
I didn’t watch professional wrestling as a kid, and I don’t watch professional basketball as an adult, so I’m not super familiar with the concept of trash talk. According to my extensive Internet research, I should threaten to kill my opponents and their loved ones, impugn their paternity, and imply that I have had sexual relations with their significant others. That seems a bit harsh. So instead, I will say what I said to my opponents on Jeopardy!: “Good luck, suckas!!” -Ty
The following week, Michelle “Mush” Morgan faced off against Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson in the epic battle of Mush vs. Rock. The Rock’s expert wrestling moves and experience hitting people with folding chairs proved useless against Mush’s fiery Mexican food farts and superior IT skills when she beat The Rock with a very close 53% of the popular vote.
Just ’cause you bitches are big, strong, strapping boys don’t mean that my old age and treachery won’t overcome! I will beat your asses! I will dominate! YOU ARE GOIN’ DOWN!!! -Mush
Jere battled the animated twosome, Tom & Jerry in his first C&R Fight Club battle. Did the cat and mouse’s giant hammers, mouse traps, stinky cheese and presumable invincibility and immortality slow Jere down in his battle? Nope! He dragged the cartoons to court, sued (and kicked) their asses with a win of 95% of the popular vote.
Those queens? Please. When I’m done cock-slapping them around this fight, they’re both gonna wish they had never seen me. Let us pray the pimp’s prayer for these bitches. Lord, please pray for the soul of these pussies and guide my pimp hand and make it strooong Lord! So that they might learn a ho’s place. Amen! -Jere
Who will win in the battle of Ty vs. Mush vs. Jere? There’s only one rational way to decide who will win this battle. We’re putting this no-holds-barred fight to a vote. The poll will be open for approximately 24 hours, and you may vote as many times as you want. That’s right — we’re not blocking repeat votes, so vote now and vote often for your favorite Cocky & Rude Fight Club opponent.
Check back on Sunday for the results!
Thanks to Michelle M., Ty, Mush & Jere for your assistance with this post!
I realized a few weeks ago that from a certain spot in my parking lot, I can see my landlord’s computer screen. I was so excited! I couldn’t wait to see what kind of porn (girls? boys? horses? fatties? fisting?) that he was into. But after a few weeks of spying, I’ve come to the realization that all he ever does is play solitaire. He’s exactly like my father, and most of the other old people (40+) that I know. The computer is simply a new way to play card games.
Old people, I’m here to help you. There are better things to do with your computer! The Internet is a wide and wondrous place. Here are some suggestions to get you started…
E-mail Your Friends & Family
Why? Because it’s cheaper than a toll call! (Old people usually don’t believe that free in-network mobile phone calls are actually free.) You’ll especially enjoy forwarding bad jokes, religious stories, hoaxes that you are convinced are real, and sharing photos with your family. Please note that old people usually don’t attach photos to an email correctly, so receivers will never see them.
Chat With Your Family
Instead of emailing, why not just IM them? There are a variety of options: Google Talk, AIM, Yahoo! Messenger, etc. Each one of them is easy to use and won’t time out when you only type about one word a minute. Where is the ‘s’ again? I’m sure your family is patient and won’t mind that you type so slow. Oh, and Skype is out of the question, because old people will never understand how to set up a microphone and web cam.
Catch Up On The News
You’re old, so you’re probably a Republican. The best news site for you is FoxNews.com! They offer a fair and balanced version of the news that’s usually not exactly true, but true enough to get you all riled up against those damn liberals! Your favorite person, Sarah Palin is even on the payroll! Check daily for the latest on how heath care reform will cause you to be instantly euthanized and up-to-the-minute information about how Barack Obama was not born in the United States.
Stay On Top Of The Weather
Old people love the weather. A chance of rain or snow is enough of a reason to stay home for days. And when you don’t have much left to live for, it’s important to know the temperature highs and lows for the day. Make sure to send daily emails to your kids and grandkids, reminding them to wear a coat today!
Porn, Porn & More Porn!
Old people’s penises and vajayjays are saggy and old. They wrinkle up like prunes (which on a side-note, are great for avoiding constipation!) and drag on the ground. Don’t get me started on wispy gray pubic hair. It’s just disgusting. Porn is a great way to remember how your body used to look. And what better place to find porn than on the Internet?
It’s Hookup Time!
And why stop at porn? The Internet is a great place for old people to find romance or just hook up with other old folks. And with the advent of Viagra and Cialis, old guys never have to worry about under-preforming and stage fright. eHarmony.com is great if you’re looking for romance (and they don’t let the queers in either!), but sites like AshleyMadison.com are great if you’re just looking to bang some old married people, and still make it home in time for Wheel of Fortune.
Print Out Some Coupons
The only thing better than sex is saving money. And with websites like Coupons.com, you don’t even have to worry about hobbling with your walker to end of the driveway to pick up the newspaper anymore. You can sit on your Duro-Med Rubber Inflatable Seat Cushion Ring and print coupons straight from the computer! As long as you can figure out how to use that damn printer!
Google Your Favorite Subjects
You’re old, so you’re probably all about history (because you were there when it happened). Why not Google your favorite topics? I suggest searching for topics like “World War I” or “Back when I had a pet dinosaur.” Or why not just use Google as an address bar? Wanna go to Facebook? Search for “Facebook.com” or why not try searching Google for “Google.com”? Old people LOVE to do that.
Map Your Family Tree
Old people love reconnecting and remembering their long lost relatives. Why not use a site like Ancestry.com to map a family tree? Or how about Classmates.com to find a few of your still-living classmates? Both sites cost money, and for some reason, old people are surprising willing to pay for these services. Just don’t be there a month later when the credit card bill shows up. They’ll have that foamy pad on the telephone speaker pressed hard against their hearing aid as they scream at the credit card company representative to take the charge of their bill.
Stalk Your Family On Facebook
Facebook, you say? That’s where I disapprovingly look at photos of my grandson Adam jamming vegetables down his pants. He thinks it’s funny. I think it’s disgusting! Old people love stalking their family on Facebook. They’d stalk their friends too, but they’re all dead.
Old people are great, and they love computers. With this helpful list, hopefully they can make the most out of their final few years on the planet. Do you have any suggestions of your own? Add to my list in the comments!