Tag Archives: Beard

Have You Ever… Been Macho!?

The rules: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

Have you ever?!

1. Have you ever barbecued a big slab of meat?
2. Have you ever camped in the woods?
3. Have you ever climbed to the top of a mountain?
4. Have you ever bench pressed 200 pounds?
5. Have you ever ordered a scotch on the rocks?
6. Have you ever smoked a cigar?
7. Have you ever played rugby?
8. Have you ever repaired a car?
9. Have you ever used tools for home repairs?
10. Have you ever engaged in fisticuffs?
11. Have you ever eaten an entire habanero pepper?
12. Have you ever gone all in at a game of poker?
13. Have you ever grown a full beard?
14. Have you ever served in the military?
15. Have you ever practiced martial arts?
16. Have you ever driven a motorcycle?
17. Have you ever gone deep sea fishing?
18. Have you ever built a fire?
19. Have you ever rung the bell with a hammer at the fair’s strong man contest?
20. Have you ever had a hairy chest?
21. Have you ever gone skydiving?
22. Have you ever opened a bottle with your teeth?
23. Have you ever fired a gun?
24. Have you ever chopped wood?
25. Have you ever wrassled a bear?

Tell us your total in comments and lets find out… ¿quien es mas macho?


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It’s The Thursday Four!

My new haircut looks something like this.

Much like the ‘Friday Five’, the ‘Thursday Four’ is an exploration of great things.  …except there are four things instead of five.  …and it’s Thursday and not Friday.  …and it doesn’t really have the same ring as ‘Friday Five’.  OH WELL!  This week Michelle M. and I got together (figuratively, not literally) to present these four great things to you.  Read ’em and weep, suckers!

1. Grooming myself! (and having other people groom me.)  This week I trimmed my beard really short, AND got a haircut!  I look marvelous!  I’d post a photo, but I’ve gotten so fat that I hardly look like myself anymore.  (Hurray for BC&RL3!)  Either that or I’m just super lazy tonight.  ANYWAY — I love having a closely shorn head and face.  Is that weird? -Adam

Fuck you, Chris Christie!

2. Chris Christie vetoed gay marriage!  After I’ve finally gotten over the fact that he fired every teacher in NJ, I needed a new reason to hate that fat Republican fuck.  And he did not disappoint — last week he vetoed gay marriage!  Yay Chris Christie!  Now I have a reason hate you forever.  If I ever see you in person, I promise to spit on you.  People just don’t spit on each other enough these days.  Unless they need emergency lubrication — but that’s a whole ‘nother story. -Adam

3. Downton Abbey* – what a great show. Season two has just ended, but there will be a season three, and Shirley MacLaine will play Lady Cora’s mother. Yay! Here is a clip from Saturday Night Live if you haven’t been watching and would like a rundown on the show. – Michelle M.

They see me rollin', they hatin', patrollin' Tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty.

4. And look! There are Downton Abbey paper dolls, in case you’re going through DA withdrawal like me. I love the faces for the Chicken Lady, er, Dowager Countess, O’Brien’s evil soap and Mr. Pamuk. – Michelle M.

Runners up: The Good Wife*, reusable shopping bags, complaining, spending other people’s money, liquid wart remover,lazy posts, pregnant ladies, selling crap on eBay, adorably tiny bottles of diet soda, eating like a pig before BC&RL3, and hardcore gay pornography.

That’s our Thursday Four … what’s yours?

*Why isn’t this show on Our T.V. Night??

It’s The Cocky & Rude Match Game! (3.03)















It’s The Cocky & Rude Match Game! (3.02)

















It’s The Cocky & Rude Match Game! (3.01)















It’s The Friday Five!

I just looked at the calendar, and ya know what I found?  It’s Friday.  And here at C&R, that can only mean one thing.  We’re all going to sing Rebecca Black songs!  It’s time for the Friday Five:

1. The New TV Season!  Nearly all of the new shows this season are sucking some major shit… but Terra Nova was pretty good.  Did you watch it? (Yea, yea, it’s sci-fi on Fox so I give it about half a season before they cancel it.)  To make up for the lackluster crop of new shows, there’s plenty of great returning series that I’m excited about.  Breaking Bad has been breathtakingly amazing!  Plus It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Parks & Recreation, Fringe, Happy Endings, and Modern Family are all going strong.  And I still love Glee, no matter what you say!

2. Andy Rooney is stepping down from 60 Minutes at the tender age of 472.  Slacker!  I hate lazy people that decide to retire early.  They’re all so smug and rich.  Ugh!  Hate that!  And who is Andy Rooney, anyway?  I’m 31 … does anyone my age watch 60 Minutes?  After a little bit of research, I’ve discovered that he’s a crotchety old geezer with ridiculous eyebrows.  Jesus, man!  Trim your forehead bush!  Here’s some funny videos that make fun of Andy Rooney:

3. Taking personal days off of work is pretty great!  I’ve worked at the same company for about 50 years, and I don’t think I’ve ever just taken a personal day.  I’ve pre-scheduled  ‘personal time’ before, but I’ve never just called out of work without lying about an illness.  “Hey, it’s Adam … I’m going to take a personal day today.  Call me if you need me … I’ll see you tomorrow.”  It’s great!  You should try it!  I did it on Wednesday, so I could take a nap in the afternoon before training my way to NYC to have dinner with Mr. Sombrero and a friend.  By the way, my favorite (made up) sick day excuse: “Hey it’s Adam.  I’m going to take a sick day today.  I’ve been up all night … the diarrhea is just awful.  I must have food poisoning or something.  It’s all over the walls of my apartment.  I think it might even be on the ceiling.  Oh God!  I gotta go!  See ya tomorrow!”  I actually did that.  It received a few hearty chuckles.

4. Beards. I find beards on guys to be incredibly sexy.  And I mean facial hair — not a gay guy’s fake girlfriend that’s on him.  Just to clear that up.  Anyway — I’ve never really had a beard for more than a couple weeks before.  I always end up getting frustrated (because they’re either itchy or begin to act like a drool sponge when I’m sleeping) but I’m totally over my beard’s itchy/sponginess.  All you gotta do is wipe your face off when you wake up.  Use an absorbent material like a paper towel or your boyfriend’s sheet.  It works great!  Yea, so I’m rock’n a beard right now.  And I look goooood.

5. Apples are in season!  Woohoo!  With the beginning of autumn comes apple season.  Yay, cheap delicious fruit at the grocery store!  My three favorite apples are: 1. Jazz, 2. Honeycrisp and 3. Fuji.  Someone bake me some vegan apple crisp with a side of vegan apple pie!  Yum!  I hope that apartment that Tam’s renting in NYC next weekend has an oven … so she can bake for me!  Yay!

That’s it bitches!  My five favorites of the week are: TV, Andy Rooney, Taking Personal Days, Beards and Apples!  What a loverly assortment of favorite things.  I’m totally more creative than that queefing madwoman or that other chick that doesn’t read C&R.  Runners up this week: free food, reading, regularly cleaning your toilet, bursts of energy, fancy nail clippers, my Kindle, exclamation points, masturbating and hardcore gay porn.  Woohoo!

What’s your Friday Five?  Tell me in the comments!