Tag Archives: abs

Biggest C&R Loser 2013

Biggest_CR_Loser_2013

Welcome to the second week of Biggest C&R Loser 2013! This year we’ll be keeping all of the results and placings secret until the end of the contest. We’ll also be pooling our cash to award the 2013 winner the largest prize we’ve ever awarded … a whopping $40!  This week’s theme is “GOAL & PRIZE” – Everything is easier if there’s a goal & prize in place.  Each of the contestants will tell us what their personal goal and/or prize is and how it will motivate them to lose weight.


Adam


When I win Biggest C&R Loser, I’m going to let Mr. Sombrero buy me an entirely new wardrobe! We’re going to go shopping at Abercrombie & Fitch and buy one of these weird-shaped sports balls. That’s all I’m ever going to wear!


Michelle M.

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My goal for this round of BCRL is to lose enough weight that I can throw away my fat jeans! Or burn them. Or both!


Mikey

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I am playing to fit into all of my clothes….and to make sure that when I go shopping for clothes I don’t have to constantly buy a size up. I hate that. 😦


Mr. Sombrero

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This time around I hope to get serious about my weight loss. I’ve gained a small ton in the past six months and have almost doubled in size since I met Adam. [hmmm?] And all for good reasons: health, general well being and a bunch of clothes that no longer fit.


Nathan

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My goal in this competition is to be healthier and look better. Hopefully like the guy in this photo. It’s important to aim high, so that even if I don’t quite make it, I still get quite far.


Polt

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What’s my goal and prize for doing this? Well the weight loss will be nice, but my main reason for doing this (other than the money) is my diabetes: I want to get my A1C to 7.0 or below (which makes me a controlled diabetic. Normal people are 6.0 or below). Last March, it was above 9, my doctor yelled at me and put me on a diet. I followed it and in three months, dropped to 7.1 in June. Because I slacked off, in September, it was 7.4. Now, over the holidays, I’m sure it’s gone up again. And this coming Monday i have a doctor’s appointment, where I’m sure she’ll yell at me again. But with her yelling and this contest, hopefully, I can get it back down around or below 7.0. That’s my goal. the prize? Having better health and not dying as soon.


Tam

Tam 15

Okay, I was really not mentally prepared for this whole process to start last week. I seemed to be still in the post-holiday sugar-craving mode. Enough. I need to track my food consumption more carefully. No more chocolate. My goal is 15lbs. I know that’s kind of wimpy, but if I don’t set my sights too high I might actually make it and more would be a bonus. Better to aim low and succeed I always say. Well, mostly. Whatever. Reward? I don’t know. Maybe new shoes. I’m always up for new shoes. (And no, I don’t really want pink sequinned sneakers, but something.)


TwoPi

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My “prize” is a cruise with my immediate family, hitting various ports along the Baltic. For me, the challenging part of this trip will be its physical demands. I have arthritis in my lumbar spine, and can’t (currently) be on my feet for prolonged periods of time. This will put a serious crimp in our site seeing at the ports of call. I’m working on physical therapy to try and regain some motion and strength, but one thing that would make all of that more effective is weight loss.


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It’s Your Friday Five!

This week I crowdsourced a fabulous new Friday Five for you to enjoy … check it out!

I can’t decide between Downton Abbey and Homeland so I’m picking both! So let’s just say that it’s shows everyone raves about that I’m finally seeing. Yay for being cutting edge and relevant! Downton Abbey is like Pride and Prejudice meets a juicy soap opera. Mmmm, juicy. And Homeland is so good and complicated I have no idea who I’m supposed to root for. Mmmm, rooty. Craig

For me , it’s a tie. 1), Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3 is now over, now more weekly blurbs or embarrassing weigh-in.  And 2) I FINALLY GOT THE PURPLE LINE IN THE BC&RL3  WEIGHT LOSS GRAPH!  I don’t care where I finished, getting the purple line means I won.  So there! 🙂Polt

My cool thing this week is seeing my first e-book cover with my name and the book title on it. Yes, I’ve had a couple of short stories, but the covers were generic, no names. This is the first time my name is on a specific cover. Yes, yes, there will be a few of us with the same cover for this particular series, but still – my name is right there, on his abs! Le sigh. He’s kind of pretty. So props to cover artist Reese Dante and I’m a bit thrilled to have a real cover. Fun stuff. (July 28 – buy it, make me rich!)Tam

Cute animal videos. I don’t even want to know how much time I waste watching this nonsense. If you have 17 seconds to waste, this is for you:Michelle M.

One amazing five this week has to be yesterday’s ruling about the constitutionality of parts of the odiously named Defense of Marriage Act.  The ruling doesn’t state that we lowly homos have the right to marry, but it does say that the Federal government doesn’t have the right to force the states to discriminate against us.  The ruling will undoubtedly head to the Supreme Court….and given the controversy, it will be one of the final things they rule on in the next court session.  Tune at the end of NEXT June for the results.  Until then do what I am going to do, drink a celebratory toast and get married.Mikey

That’s our Friday Five … What’s Yours?!


Sports are Stupid! Here’s 50 Things To Do Instead of Watching the Super Bowl…

1. Clip your toenails.
2. Organize your grocery store coupons.
3. Admire Polt’s ass.
4. Twiddle your thumbs.
5. Stare at the wall.

6. Watch the Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet.
7. Read a book.
8. Watch The Notebook to balance out the world.
9. Organize a box of Fruit Loops by color.
10. Call all your butch friends who are watching the Super Bowl, just to chat.

11. Roll pennies.
12. Watch paint dry.
13. Clean out your closet.
14. Stuff everything that you took out of your closet into another closet.
15. Alphabetize your DVDs.

16. Comb your back hair.
17. Go shopping.
18. Clean out your refrigerator.
19. Replace the batteries in your smoke detectors.
20. Clean the dead bugs out of your ceiling lamps.

21. Make sure that everything hanging in your home is perfectly level.
22. Tweeze your eyebrows.
23. Catch up on Glee.
24. Look up naked women on the Internet and ponder why vaginas are just so damn disgusting.
25. Actually read one of those m/m short stories that Tam is always reviewing.

26. Masturbate.
27. Watch grass grow.
28. Play solitaire.
29. Add hundreds of pointless life events to your Facebook timeline.
30. Organize your porn.

31. Prune your pubes.
32. Microwave random things until they explode.
33. Perfect a foreign accent.
34. Plot world domination.
35. Perform an interpretive dance of LMFAO‘s I’m Sexy and I Know It.

36. Bake and decorate a cake.
37. Plan your future wedding.
38. Go grocery shopping (the store will be EMPTY).
39. Re-read every C&R post and comment on all of them.
40. Actually visit Our T.V. Night (because no one ever does).

41. Build a sex machine.
42. Nap.
43. Compose a C&R guest post and email it to Adam.
44. Learn the beautiful art of flower arraigning.
45. Drink alcohol until you pass out.

46. Lick the black mold that’s growing on your bathroom wall.
47. Clean your house.
48. Exercise.
49. Go see a movie.
50. Dream up 50 more things that you could do instead of watching the Super Bowl.

Special thanks to Mikey and Craig for their assistance with this post.

C&R Fight Club Round 2: Ryan vs. Chris D. vs. Adam!

Welcome to Cocky & Rude Fight Club: ROUND TWO!  The rules to the game are simple.  Each week we’ll re-introduce our fighters.  We’ll give them each a chance to speak their mind.  Then we’ll put the results to vote.  You’ll pick which combatant will decimate their opponent in the knock-down, drag-out brawl of Cocky & Rude Fight Club! Let’s meet this week’s fighters…


Each week of Round Two, we’ll drop three Round One winners into the ring and see who remains standing after a 24-hour Cocky & Rude Fight Club vote.  Today’s contestants are: Ryan, Chris D. & Adam!


On July 28th, Ryan With A Cupcake (a.k.a. Ryan Sans Cupcake, look at those abs!) faced off against his mortal enemy: The Muffin Man.  In the battle of cupcake vs. muffin, Ryan managed to defeat his opponent with a staggering 99% of the popular vote.

Adam and Chris are going down. I’ve already crushed Adam in the Biggest Cock and Rudest Loser contest by losing more than twice as much weight as he did. As soon as the bell rings, he will piss his pants and then be too distracted trying to figure out what the puddle looks like to defend himself. Meanwhile, Chris is just too nice to win. He only won last time because Mr. Rogers out-niced his ass. Of course, the real reason to vote for me is to get me to show of the clothes I bought last weekend. -Ryan

The following week, the eternally nice Chris D. went up against the deceased nice, Mister Rogers.  But everyone’s favorite cardigan sweater-wearing nice guy was no match for Chris D.’s power of … life.  Chris D. defeated Mister Rogers with an impressive 88% of the popular vote.

I am going to beat Adam because if Adam wins, he will be dogged by rumors that this whole thing was rigged for decades.  Would you seriously want to do that to poor sweet Adam?  Vote for me, for Adam’s sake! Ryan could be a bit of a challenge.  He is more popular than me, he is probably cooler than me, and lately he’s looking quite fit… BUT I’m the underdog! And if there is one thing that we believe in, it is the ability of the quirky underdog to triumph over insurmountable odds!  So vote for me, because I am less popular, and less cool than Ryan! -Chris D.

Our final C&R Fight Club Round One match pitted Adam against the overweight, immature, spoiled, outspoken, lazy, foul-mouthed, mean-spirited, racist, sexist, anti-semitic, sociopathic, and narcissistic Eric Cartman.  In the end, all of those adjectives were no match for Adam, who defeated Eric Cartman with 84% of the popular vote. -Adam

Seriously?  This is my blog.  Do you think that Chris D. and Ryan can beat me?  Those two are nothing compared to me!  Do you hear me?  NOTHING!  My time is better spent illustrating tweets, photographing piss puddles and coming up with creative ways to use the photo of Polt’s ass in new and exciting ways.  Now vote me for.  NOW!


Who will win in the battle of  Ryan vs. Chris D. vs. Adam?  There’s only one rational way to decide who will win this battle. We’re putting this no-holds-barred fight to a vote. The poll will be open for approximately 24 hours, and you may vote as many times as you want. That’s right — we’re not blocking repeat votes, so vote now and vote often for your favorite Cocky & Rude Fight Club opponent.

Check back on Sunday for the results!

Thanks to Michelle M., Ryan & Chris D. for your assistance with this post!