Oh the things I’ve done … while shivering.

You never realize how reliant on something you are, until it’s gone. Due to the recent storm (I hate weather), I was without electricity from Saturday at 6pm until Tuesday around noon. I’m still without cable and Internet (which accounts for the infrequent and oddly timed C&R posts). Here’s a list of the things I’ve done while suffering electricity withdraw:

  • Organize entire house
  • Dust entire house
  • Create an unflushable stew of disgustingness in my toilet
  • Freeze under 6 blankets
  • Eat lots of unhealthy takeout food
  • Mooch electricity off of my mother
  • Watch over 60 episodes of The Big Bang Theory on my laptop (in 3-hour battery-depleting chunks)
  • Drive around in my car to keep warm
  • Cuddle with Spring
  • Bury Spring under blankets
  • Clean the litter box (don’t worry, I didn’t photograph it first)
  • Scrub refrigerator (It’s empty now that I’ve thrown most of the food out and moved the rest of it to my Mom’s house)
  • Swept the living room carpet (with a broom)
  • Read numerous magazines
  • Wrote a few incomplete Have You Ever posts
  • Folded and put away laundry (instead of living out of a laundry basket)
  • Continued flipping light switches on and off every time I entered rooms
  • Scrubbed the kitchen counter
  • Organized the food pantry
  • Filled the dishwater with dishes
  • Bought a big pack of water from BJ’s Wholesale Club
  • Noticed how dirty my laptop keyboard is
  • Cleaned laptop keyboard
  • Lit candles
  • Stumbled around the house looking for flashlights
  • Spent two nights shivering in the cold
  • Spent one night sleeping on the floor of my Mom’s house
  • wrote a blog post to elicit pity from readers
  • and lots of other stuff

Now that electricity has finally returned, I’m beginning to brainstorm my next blog post, tentatively titled, “Boring list of things I did last night without cable television and Internet access.”


23 thoughts on “Oh the things I’ve done … while shivering.”

    1. Sadly I suspect the answer to that is clear, Mikey — by the time Adam hit puberty, the internet (or at least AOL) existed, and so did online porn. Boys used to be able to masturbate by means of pure imagination. Alas I suspect that is a lost art. 😉

      PhD theses have probably been churned out on the topic.

      Yes, this *IS* a curmudgeonly “in MYYYY day” post. When I’m (even more) geriatric, I’ll be able to swing my cane at younger gay men and berate them on their lazy-ass masturbation inspiration. That’ll be fun 🙂

    2. Actually, I was so cold that my dick sucked into my body and became a temporary vagina. I was too disgusted by it to masturbate. But thanks for asking!

      1. Dude, I’ve had sewer blockage twice since I bought the house, just pee in a bucket and throw it outside, and for the….poopies, go to your mom’s house. No big deal.

        OR, you should piss in the Spring’s litter box and have us guess what the puddle looks like!


        1. Dude, I have power back now. I flushed 3 times before I even opened the toilet seat to take a look. No biggy. And why piss in a bucket when you can just go pee outside?

          1. Cause I live in town and have no front yard and a miniscule back one with a public alleyway running right next to my house. There’s not place in private I could go outside. However, for me to be emptying a bucket into the alley, well, that’s no big deal. Dude.

  1. Ummm, wow, I missed an interesting (?) string of comments. Welcome to the vagina club.

    I should have the electricity go off at my house, maybe I’d clean my house … or not.

  2. Oh for the love of god people, every man that reads this post has been in at least one vagina. They aren’t a bad thing, at all.

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