C&R Fight Club Final Round: Michelle M. vs. Ryan

Welcome to FINAL ROUND of Cocky & Rude Fight Club!  The rules to the game are simple.    First I’ll re-introduce our fighters.  We’ll give them each a chance to speak their mind.  Then we’ll put the results to vote.  You’ll pick which combatant will decimate their opponent in the knock-down, drag-out brawl of Cocky & Rude Fight Club! Let’s meet the final two contestants:


Round 1: Michelle M. defeats Oprah Winfrey
Round 2: Michelle M. defeats Captain Kirk and Polt
Round 3: Michelle M. defeats “The Kid” and FDot

The fact that Ryan is younger, taller and in better shape than I am means nothing. Nothing!  Ryan is pure evil. Seriously. The only way someone could achieve the willpower to lose weight and buff up their bod so quickly and thoroughly is by going to the Dark side. All I need is a few sips of Pepsi and I will go Yoda* on his ass. I can polish off a cupcake faster than the Millennium Falcon can jump to lightspeed. The Force is with me. Little, ancient wrinkled me.

*CGI Yoda, not muppet Yoda.



Round 1: Ryan defeats The Muffin Man
Round 2: Ryan defeats Adam and Chris D.
Round 3: Ryan defeats Mr. Sombrero and Ty

Finally! Now Adam will stop nagging me. I congratulate Michelle on her success so far, but it has sadly come to an end. To console her, I have this totally not deadly* cantaloupe for her.

I have a few advantages that will lead me to victory. First, the demographics of this site skew heavily toward those who prefer looking at fit guys in tight shirts over girls wearing anything (or nothing). Second, in the event that this shifts from a popularity contest to a Nerf sword duel, I believe that my childhood has believe my childhood has prepared me for success. Finally, the cantaloupe.

*Description of cantaloupe as not deadly does not imply any guarantee that the cantaloupe is not deadly.


WHO WILL BE THE C&R FIGHT CLUB ULTIMATE CHAMPION?? There’s only one rational way to decide who will win this battle. We’re putting this no-holds-barred fight to a vote. The poll will be open for approximately 24 hours, and you may vote as many times as you want. That’s right — we’re not blocking repeat votes, so vote now and vote often for your favorite Cocky & Rude Fight Club opponent.

Check back on Sunday for the results!

Thanks to Michelle M. and Ryan for your assistance with this post!


28 thoughts on “C&R Fight Club Final Round: Michelle M. vs. Ryan”

  1. First – I honor the demographics of this site by not posting a picture of myself wearing a tight tshirt or nothing at all. Second, my middle name is “Nerf sword duel champion of the universe.” Finally, I eat listeria for breakfast. Sprinkled on my cupcake.

  2. I wish I could just sit in the house here in New Orleans and vote until I blow PollDaddy’s mind but … yeah, not so much.

    Maybe the best trash talker win,

  3. I had to vote for Michelle because she’s going to help me photoshop my Puntabugang calendar shot. And by “help” i mean “do”. Right, Michelle?

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