Welcome to Cocky & Rude Fight Club! The rules to the game are simple. Each week we’ll introduce our fighters. We’ll do the leg work and help you analyze their strengths and weaknesses. Then we’ll put the results to vote. You’ll pick which combatant will decimate their opponent in the knock-down, drag-out brawl of Cocky & Rude Fight Club! Let’s meet this week’s fighters…
Date of Birth: Raggedy Ann was created in 1915 as a doll and first appeared in a book in 1918. Her brother, Raggedy Andy first appeared in a book in 1920.
Place of Birth: the mind of Johnny Gruelle
Hair Color: bright red
Current Residence: The playroom
Relationship Status: siblings
Occupation: friendly dolls
Height & Weight: probably less than a pound each
Hobbies: singing, dancing, playing, adventuring, being nice
Favorite Yarn Color: bright red
Favorite Yarn Creation: each other!
Favorite Outfit: dress & apron; sailor suit & hat
Favorite Author: Johnny Gruelle
Favorite curse word: darn!
Raggedy Ann and her brother Raggedy Andy are fictional characters created by American writer Johnny Gruelle (1880–1938) in a series of books he wrote and illustrated for young children. The two siblings have appeared in countless books, a few television cartoons, and a feature film since 1918. Raggedy Ann and Andy are considered to be in the public domain, and there are countless versions of the dolls — both mass-produced and handmade in existence. In an unofficial C&R poll, we found that every grandmother in the United States owns at least one of the dolls. While you may think that these two unassuming dolls are weak and defenseless, you are wrong. Their secret weapons include a constant smile in the face of opposition, black dead button eyes, an army of countless clones (ready to hold your grandma hostage at the drop of a thimble), the willingness to cannibalize your clothes for body parts, opposable thumbs on mitten-style hands, and the utter lack of a soul.
AKA / Alias: Cabezalana
Date of Birth: 02 Apr 1969
Place of Birth: Newberry, SC
Hair Color: Brown
Current Residence: Kittery Point, ME
Relationship Status: Gay-married with furchildren
Occupation: Veterinarian and Bringer of Doom
Height & Weight: 5’11” & less than Kirstie Alley
Hobbies: Knitting, Dreaming of moving to Iceland
Favorite Yarn Color: Blue
Favorite Yarn Creation: My Icelandic lopapeysu
Favorite Outfit: Jeans & t-shirt, except when I wear my kilt
Favorite Author: David Sedaris
Favorite curse word: Fuck
Everyone’s favorite yarn-loving veterinarian from Maine is none other than Mel! C&R asked Mel for a few fun facts about himself, and here’s what he had to say: “I’m obsessed with eating enough fiber, I once pulled porcupine quills out of Stockard Channing’s dogs, I have never sent anyone a pic of my junk, I love spicy foods, drinking alcohol gives me a headache (which is why I only drink really good beer), buying lottery tickets at the 7-11 is one of the most lowbrow things I do, and I’ve been an ovolacto vegetarian for over 16 years.” His secret weapons include a kung-fu grip, quick tweeting fingers, a southern charm, razor sharp knitting needles and a seam-ripper, and top-notch culinary skills with a specialty in kickass salads.
Who will win in the battle of YARN PEOPLE vs. YARN LOVER? Will Raggedy Ann & Andy tag-team Mel and hold his elder relatives hostages? Or will Mel stab the smiling siblings with knitting needles and tear them apart? There’s only one rational way to decide which fighter will win this battle. We’re putting this no-holds-barred fight to a vote. The poll will be open for approximately 24 hours, and you may vote as many times as you want.That’s right — we’re not blocking repeat votes, so vote now and vote often for your favorite Cocky & Rude Fight Club opponent.
Check back on Sunday for the results!
Thanks to Mel & Michelle M. for your assistance with this post!