C&R Fight Club: OPRAH vs. MICHELLE M.

Welcome to a brand new feature game at Cocky & Rude!  The rules to the game are simple.  Each week we’ll introduce our fighters.  We’ll do the leg work and help you analyze their strengths and weaknesses.  Then we’ll put the results to vote.  You’ll pick which combatant will decimate their opponent in the knock-down, drag-out brawl of Cocky & Rude Fight Club! Let’s meet this week’s fighters…

Oprah Winfrey

Born: Orpah Gail Winfrey
Date of Birth: January 29, 1954
Age: 57
Residence: Chicago, Illinois
Marital Status: Partnered with both Stedman Graham and Gayle King
Occupation: Talk show host, media proprietor, actress
Weight: Fluctuates wildly

Oprah Winfrey is an American television host, actress, producer, and philanthropist, best known for her self-titled, multi-award winning talk show, which has become the highest-rated program of its kind in history.  Now considered by many to be the world’s most powerful woman, Oprah comes from humble beginnings.  Now at age 57, Oprah boasts a media and production company, a satellite radio station, a magazine, a successful film career (including an Academy Award nomination), a popular online presence and a brand new television network.

Michelle M.

Born: Michelle S.
Alias: Wonder Woman
Date of Birth: June 5 (year unknown)
Age: Ageless
Residence: San Diego, CA
Marital Status: Married to Harry M.
Occupation: Blog commenter extraordinaire, Adobe Photoshop Master
Weight: Hardly anything

Hailing from San Diego, California, Michelle M. is know throughout the blogosphere for her humorous comments and Photoshop masterpieces.  Michelle has worked at a few different preschools over the years, but ultimately left each one when they threatened to overturn her ever-present smile.  She enjoys alcoholic beverages — especially wine and cocktails with umbrellas, and despises most white foods, especially cheese.  While many of her online friends have begged her to create her own blog, Twitter account, Tumblr page, or some other form of web presence, Michelle M. prefers to ‘keep them wanting more.’

AND NOW IT’S TIME TO FIGHT! Who will win in the battle of Media Mogul versus Wonder Woman? Will Michelle go down for the count or will she deliver a knock-out punch? Will Oprah reign supreme, or is her time in the spotlight finally over? That’s for you to decide! We’re putting this no-holds-barred fight to a vote. The poll will be open for approximately 24 hours, and you may vote as many times as you want. That’s right — we’re not blocking repeat votes, so vote now and vote often for your favorite Cocky & Rude Fight Club opponent!

We’ll let you know which fighter wins the first round of Cocky & Rude Fight Club on Sunday at noon!


22 thoughts on “C&R Fight Club: OPRAH vs. MICHELLE M.”

  1. So Oprah could crush Michelle with her weight or hire a hit squad to take her out, but Michelle could seriously cut a bitch with her sharp wit. I vote Michelle!

  2. Oh my heart wants Michelle M. to win, but logic tells me a fat black woman is always gonna win against a lil pixie-ish slip of a white girl.

    Perhaps I’ll vote twice, once by heart and once by logic?

    When i first saw this on twitter, all I saw was Oprah vs Michelle…and I figured out meant Michele Obama. now THAT my friends, would be a fight worth seeing! 🙂


  3. Michelle Obama would totally kick Oprah’s ass.

    Like Polt, I had difficulty overturning my logic to think the Oprah’s sheer size wouldn’t dominate Michelle. Then I remembered that Michelle is Wonder Woman, one of the strongest characters in the DC Universe and decided that she would win.

  4. Okay, Michelle is small but she’s scrappy and she can probably move a hell of a lot faster than big lumbering Oprah. Once she gets behind her, or in front of her with a bucket of fried chicken, it will all be over. I have faith in Michelle, she’s sneaky and smart, so she’ll do fine.

  5. I’ve never understood stereotypical black people foods. Who doesn’t love fried chicken and orange soda? Who turns down watermelon at a party? “No thanks, I don’t like watermelon.” Never happens! How did they get assigned as black stereotypes? I think they should be human stereotypes. Except for Adam since he isn’t human and doesn’t eat anything.

  6. I think in Oprah’s case she just loves food. I have heard someone turn down watermelon. He was white. *gasp* Thus racial stereotyping must be true.

    I think Mary Kate and Ashley only weigh about 8 more lbs than they did then.

  7. I will OWN Oprah*. She will not see what’s coming – I fight dirty and I will TAKE HER RICH ASS DOWN with my ninja moves. After I mop the floor with the O, I will wash the windows with Gayle. Then I’ll make Stedman my bitch and find a good home for her dogs. I will move into her Montecito mansion where I shall host a party for the Puntabugang and give all those who voted for me a million dollars. EVERYONE GETS A MILLION DOLLARS!! I will buy the Olsen twins who will entertain us with their horrible dancing whilst we feast on fried chicken and orange soda. Except for Polt, who will be drinking Pepsi.

    *I love the Oprah.

  8. Woohoo. You go girl.

    I did notice everyone who commented in that new article were black. Are there no white people in Rochester? Actually I know there are. Why weren’t TwoPi and Heather interviewed?

  9. The Great Chicken Famine of 2009 will long remain a scar on our community.

    As for the demographics of their interviews, it looks like they filmed in one of the rougher neighborhoods in Rahchacha. Had they gone to the Penfield location, they’d have gotten a long line of pale soccer moms in minivans.

    BTW, I hate watermelon. On my 8th birthday, I asked for 1/2 of a watermelon for breakfast. Mom said no, so I cried that she didn’t love me. She gave in… and I’ve never been so sick in all my life.

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