Don’t Beware the Fives of March

Do you know what we have not done in a really long time? Not once this year? A Friday Five. There hasn’t been a single noteworthy damn thing that has happened all year. Ok. So maybe some interesting things have happened, but we haven’t found five of them in one week in forever. This week we have a few whoppers for you. Just what has been so great lately? check it out.

Charlie Sheen enters the battle of the insane ranters (by Mikey)
Unless you live under a rock, you probably heard about Charlie Sheen’s latest trip down the road to River Phoenix’s place. This week has been a whirlwind of outbursts about tiger blood and “winning” from the serial womanizer and woman abuser, yet Oliver Noble at took it to the super awesome hilarious level. His mash up of the rants of fellow women abusers Gibson, Sheen and Baldwin with an assist from Christian Bale is classic. Check it out.

The Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger (by Mikey)
Our friend Mel posted this hilarious inventive nature video with additional narration by Randall. Apparently the Honey Badger is either the most fearless animal in the world or the stupidest thing alive. When you combine that with Randall’s lispy, effete commentary you get magic. Sit back, relax and ride the Honey Badger.

Paula Deen Rides Things (by Mikey)
I love watching Paula Deen put butter on lard to make a cheese soup. If I ate the way she cooks, I would have arteries the same hardness as granite. Her enthusiasm for food is infectious. And this website, which Tam posted on facebook, captures that pandemic and puts it right out there on top of whatever she can sit her lard replete ass on. Favorites include: Paula on Falcor from The Neverending Story, Paula on a grey cat, and Paula on Pee Wee Herman. I hope you are able to catch your breath after that.

Cats that Look like Ron Swanson (by Mikey)
If you don’t watch Parks and Recreation, this tumblr blog will make you a fan. Nick Offerman’s portrayal of Ron Swanson on that show is quite possibly my favorite thing about it and his signature scowly stare is the stuff of legend. Check out these adorable fuzzy friends who will make you tune into NBC each week to see who Ron stares down next.

I admit it. I’m watching Idol and I can’t stop. Does it belong on the Friday Five?! Probably not! And quite frankly, I hate almost everyone on the show. The judges? They’re awful. Most of the contestants? Awful too! But for some reason I’m addicted to American Idol like it’s meth. I even missed an episode last week and feverishly seeked it out online so I could watch it. And I can gaurantee that I’ll watch it all the way until the end! I can’t stop! In the word of Charlie Sheen: “I’m on a drug. It’s called…” American Idol!!!

So there you have ’em, folks: Charlie Sheen vs Other Ranters, the infamous Honey Badger, Paula Deen on just about anything, Cats that look like Ron Swanson, and American Idol for some reason. What is on your list of amazing awesome things? Tell us in the comments so we can sleep peacefully this weekend.


9 thoughts on “Don’t Beware the Fives of March”

  1. The honeybadger thing is hilarious. Survivor is on my amazing awesome list – it’s been great this season.

  2. God those crazy people need help, or a bullet to the brain. Either will work.

    I love Randall and the honey badger (he has several narration videos I think) and Paula I think on the green trotting llama (which the kid looked up and he has a name) is my fave. I’ve never seen Parks and Rec but I did flick through that Tumblr and there is an eerie resemblance at times. Idol? Meh. I’m assuming you’ll tell me anything I need to know which is likely nothing.

  3. What’s been awesome for me this week is finishing up Seasons 2 and 3 of Avatar: The Last Airbender. One of the best damn shows I’ve seen. EVAH.


  4. “Woah, watch out!” says that bird. “It really doesn’t give a shit. It just takes what it wants.” I bet they are selfish lovers.

  5. Ron Swanson may be awesome (as are cats that look like him), but Donna is awesomer. Love her!

    Polt: Glad you’re enjoying Avatar: The Last Airbender!

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