The world keeps moving around us and forces us to see crap we just wish we could take back. You can’t get the two hours back you lose when you go to a movie and it absolutely sucks and you certainly can’t get the $13 back either. Sometimes people and things keep changing even if we want them to stop. Change is generally good for us, but sometimes I just want to turn back the clock. Here are a few of the things I wish I didn’t see recently.
Justin Bieber’s New Hairdo
Say it ain’t so, Biebs?! After all that time and energy young men and lesbians have put into attaining your gorgeous floppy, flicky look, you go and change it. We have been misled by this young man. I thought he was a fine upstanding man of good Canadian breeding. Now we know that he doesn’t care about the countless teens who worshiped his locks. Rainbow Poo himself even donned a Bieber-top as part of his adventures on this very blog. The World has changed.
My 7 Year Old Niece at a shooting range.
I almost vomited yesterday when I checked my facebook to find that my brother had not only purchased a weapon for his 7 year old daughter, but also took her to a shooting range to get in some target practice. Do people not realize that guns are instruments of death? There sole purpose is to maim and kill. Is this a skill that any child needs to learn? Am I secretly related to insane people who are going to start a militia in New Jersey? I’m just plain disgusted. I won’t be able to look at them the same way again.
Large Women Wearing Very Little
I try to avoid being any of the “ists” and generally I like to include sizist along with that. I’ve been know to carry a few extra tires around town myself, but I also put in a solid effort to make sure those tires are covered and insured. Yet there are some people who just don’t think like me. Some women out there are so proud of their large and in charge status that they wear next nothing. And I wish to have those images burned from my brain. That is all I can say about that.
That Gross Lesbo Porn I once saw
While I’m going down misogyny lane, I must add something else I wish I had never seen. While a youngster in college I attended a party thrown by some friends that featured adult videos of many varieties showing on several screens. One of them featured two women putting chocolate cake into each other’s vaj-jays and then literally eating out. It was like a car crash you couldn’t pull your eyes away from. I’m also quite certain they got some nasty yeast infections from that.
Am I naive to think I can wipe these images from my mind? What is the answer to my quandry? Will I find my eternal sunshine someday? Tell me your favorite things to forget in the comments. Oh and…sorry about that last one. I know you are going to struggle to get over those images now.