Just Go Away This Year

In case you didn’t notice, a new year started recently. Times like this we often reflect on what will happen and what changes we hope to make in the new year. I also like to think of it as an opportunity to make some wishes for celebrities I would like to hear absolutely nothing about in 2011.

Lindsay Lohan – Ms. Lohan has become a total joke. She once had promising music and acting careers, but now she just spends her time shuffling from rehab to jail to drinking binge to fighting with Rainbow Poo. I have had enough. She also has really awful hair. Can we lock her up in some real jail and throw away the key?

Taylor Lautner – This talentless hack is best known for taking his shirt off and pretending he is dating that other Taylor, when we all really know he is a big ‘mo. He can’t act and his attractiveness is incredibly overrated. I think the sun should go down on this fruitcake.

Any female with the name Kardashian -Who are these women anyway? Why are they even a topic of discussion? I guess my lack of interests in mammary glands makes me an unlikely target for their charms, but frankly the same could be said for female strippers and hookers. They just need to go back into whatever kloset they came out of.

Katy Perry – While we are talking about untalented women who act like sex workers, I would like Katy Perry to disappear. Her brand of generic vapid pop should have died with the career of Britney Spears, but alas record producers can always sell breasts that sing off key. Let’s hope that 2011 finds her moving to a deserted island with her skeezy husband.

The Situation – Stupid, chest baring women aren’t the only idiots I want to see disappear this year. Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino is in a cast of crazy characters who don’t deserve any more screen time or brain cells devoted to them. When did it become acceptable and celebrated to be so positively inane? Please go back to the shore, tie on your cement sneakers and walk into the Atlantic.

What celebrities do you want to see take a long walk off the proverbial short pier this year? Tell us in the comments so we can make fun of them on Rainbow Poo.


10 thoughts on “Just Go Away This Year”

  1. Yeah, well maybe the whole problem with Katy’s “brand of generic vapid pop [dying] with the career of Britney Spears” is that Britney’s career isn’t dead…

    Her most recent album debuted at #1 and spawned a #1 single (“Womanizer”), a #3 single (“Circus”) and a third Top 20 single (“If U Seek Amy”)…
    Her next single “3” DEBUTED at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100, the first song by a non-American Idol contestant to do so in 11 years, and the 15th song ever to do it period.

    And considering her last #1 before “Womanizer” was “…Baby One More Time”, she’s actually at a peak in her career!! Yay! Amazing what you find when you do some research.

    Also, I admit Britney is not a good live performer. But Katy? Watch her MTV Unplugged or her singing one of her ballads (“Not Like the Movies”) on her recent tour and you’ll see she’s actually great live.

  2. Kate Gosselin and any other woman who, through the perversions of science, gave birth to a softball line-up. Sorry your husband cheated on you Kate, but your stomach has got to look like a balloon 2 days after the party and your vag must look something like this:

  3. Yeah, any Palin could just stay up in their cabin in the woods and hunt moose and stay off TV.

    That Speidi couple, her of the enormous plastic surgery and he of the nothingness. They’ve kind of faded away but crop up every now and then.

    The Biebs. Take a break Justin before you become overexposed more than you already are.

  4. 1. The Real Housevies of Anywhere
    2. LOL Cats
    3. Every version of Cee Lo Green’s Fuck You (Eff You, Forget You) that isn’t Fuck You.
    4. My current job.
    5. The logo for Oprah’s OWN Network. UGLY!

    I didn’t follow the rules, most of those aren’t celebrities.

  5. Very rude.

    And “untalented women who act like sex workers” don’t get Grammy ALBUM OF THE YEAR nominations, four number one singles, a number one album and the respect and love of millions of fans (like myself) who have listened to “Firework” on repeat when they felt like giving up. Sorry to be so touchy here, but grrrlfriend seriously helped me out of some really sad situations this year and I don’t sit by while my popstars get slammed. Vapid? Watch the “Firework” video.

    And yeah, Britney Spears’ career died? When? Was this before or after she scored a #1 hit with “Womanizer” a DECADE after her first hit? She’s a legend and if you paid attention to the pop culture landscape, you’d know that there is OVERWHELMING buzz over her new album and new single.

  6. True, Taylor Launter can’t act, but there are worse things to be known for than taking off one’s shirt (see the references to Kate Gossilin above). I, however, am unsure that its possible to overrate his attractiveness. To me anyway. And by the by, if the sun’s not interesting in doing it, *I* sure would go down on him. (he’s legal now, right? right?)


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