Are you an Erotic Pioneer?

I have often wondered whether I was an erotic pioneer or not. It kept me up at night when I probably should have been pioneering erotically. Thankfully Joseph Kramer of The New School of Erotic Touch has the answers. His instructional videos are creating forwardly acting eroticians all over the world.

Still not convinced? Watch this promotional clip:

0:01 “Communal Orgasmic Yoga for Men” sold!

0:07 What is that guy doing? Is he trying to fellate that didgeridoo?

0:13 Uhhhhhmmmmmmmm?

0:18 You may be a sex teacher, sexual researcher, a sexual adventurer, a sexual pioneer and a sexual healer, but you are not having sex anywhere near me.  Especially with that mustache.

0:42 95% of men wouldn’t ever consider taking their clothes off with you! I would have to agree.

0:56 Wait? He was training to be a sex priest. This is confusing. I thought priests only promoted sex with little boys.

1:17 Ok…now this is more like it. And cut to the old guy in next shot. Really?! Come on!?!

1:36 And finally we get to the long awaited game of sexual patty cake.

1:44 Focus on the only person of color at this thing. Also…the white dudes are all kinda unattractive compared to him.

1:53 Another creepy mustache?  This guy is boring.

2:09 “I want to feel more orgasms. I want to be around people who are orgasming. And I would like to prolong orgasm and be in an orgasmic state all the time.” Don’t we all, my friend, don’t we all.  … just not with you.

And scene! What do you folks think? Are you going to check out Uranus: Self-Anal Massage for Men or Fire in the Valley: Female Genital Massage over at the New School of Erotic Massage? Or are you going to stick with your old school of erotic massage techniques?

Whatever the answer to these questions might be for you, I have a feeling that you just jumped up a few more points on the official Cocky & Rude Purity Test. Good Job, my erotic pioneer friend!


6 thoughts on “Are you an Erotic Pioneer?”

  1. That is most certainly not yoga. Furthermore, you whackjob, if you wanna have an orgy, have a fucking orgy. You don’t need to rename it and talk about Jesuits. I mean, WTF. Srsly.

  2. Fire in the Valley? Really? And ugh, they called it a rosebud. Sheesh. I’m just not sure dancing around naked outside waving your arms in the air is going to be orgasm inducing, well, not for me. It’s amazing how many people will pay money for shit like this and I have to give the guy credit for coming up with an idea that pays the rent and gives him stroke material for years.

  3. Tam, I don’t know, dancing around naked outside waving your arms CAN be orgasm-inducing, depending on who’s doing the dancing/arm waving. If he’s cute enough, I’ll just sit in a corner behind a shrub and have a pleasant little orgasm myself.

    NOT that I’ve ever done anything like this in Craigger’s backyard when he was filming the naked version of that A-Team video of his…nope, never done that at all.


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