You Can Take A Boy Outa The City…

On Saturday, Mikey took a train West (across NJ) to visit Adam in his native habitat.  It’s a green land of farms and suburbs — perfect for a little exploration and state hopping.  Their first stop?  Ralph Stover State Park in Pennsylvania.

Here’s Mikey smiling like a fool with his stylish cutoff shorts (nevernude?!) and the purple water bottle that swung from his hips (which don’t lie).

Bored with nature, Mikey decided to make to create a new sport.  It’s called Ballerina Rock Climbing, and only gay men are allowed to participate.  Sorry straighties!

Pictured here is a very blurry Adam attempting to be manly and climbing a cliff face.  Minutes into his climb, he got his left arm stuck, and screamed for help.  Mikey refused to help (there might be spiders up there!), so Adam was forced to (once again!) cut off his arm.

Moments after NOT helping Adam, Mikey took a mighty tumble and filthied himself.  Karma?  I’m thinking yes…

When it was discovered that Mikey was bleeding, Adam screamed like a girl.  Then, instead of offering to tear off his shirt and make some sort of tourniquet, Adam happily reached for his camera and started snapping photos.  “Who cares if you’re bleeding, it’s for the blog!”

At one point during the hike, the boys discovered a giant, smelly, dead alien.  They both held our noses and ran away.  Eww!

They also found some random bones.  Here’s a photo of Mikey saying, “I like bones!”

Mikey was very wimpy and hydrated often.  He drank that entire purple bottle full of water!

Adam was very mean and impatient.  Every time that Mikey wanted to take a break, Adam would tap his foot and look at his watch.  Rude!

During one of many breaks, Adam found a tree that looked lonely, so he fu¢ked it.

Here’s Mikey showing off his oddly cut-off jean shorts which feature a sizable crotch patch.  He’s a classy boy.  (How does someone tear their pants *right* there!?)

Towards the end of the hike, Mikey had had enough.  He shackled Adam to a large boulder and left him there to die.  But as he walked away, he began to reconsider.  Without Adam, he’d have to post every day on C&R… so out of extreme laziness, Mikey released Adam and they were on their way.

What exciting adventures did Adam and Mikey have during the rest of the day?  You won’t have to imagine for long!  Check back tomorrow for the rest of Adam & Mikey’s Saturday adventure.


13 thoughts on “You Can Take A Boy Outa The City…”

  1. How does someone tear their pants *right* there!?

    I believe that is the friction of his enormous junk wearing a hole in the pants. It’s what I’ve heard, not that I have photographic evidence, but some would not be remiss.

    I love ballerina rock climbing. I’m so sad I can’t participate. Hope his leg is no longer bleeding. Looks like a fun day except for the aliens, blood, spiders and cut off arms.

  2. It’s so funny that the add up in the corner is “Meet Rock Climing Singles” with some blonde honey perched against a rock wall. I love how they match them up. Well, except for the girl part.

  3. Tam figured it out!!! woot!

    It was a really fun day. It is a shame that Adam didn’t get a picture of the snake he saw. He started screaming like a girl and pointing at the ground saying “look a snake! a snake!” And I looked and it was a bike chain. I guess I just can’t compete with his superior knowledge of nature

  4. I know that’s how the crotch gets worn out in my pants. My patch solution, though? Buy an old silk tie at Goodwill, cut the end off, and sew it invisibly to the inside of the crotch. That way it looks like you’re flashing fancy silk boxers. Hawt!

    And now all I can think of is the epithet “ginger treefu©ker”.

  5. Yo, dude, don’t mock the purple, even if it iS a water bottle.

    And I can’t count the number of times my family and friends have heard me said, “I don’t care it…(insert situation here), it’s for THE BLOG!”

    SO this trip involved aliens, blood, severed limbs, chainings to boulders, and discussions of ripped crotches? man, who KNEW you guys were so butch?


  6. I think your arabesque demonstrates an amazing sense of balance and agility. I’m sad that I can’t play ballerina rock climbing, though. It’s the only kind of rock climbing I’d ever want to do! Those people who go to those places that have walls with fake rock protrusions they can climb on? They freak me out.

  7. I avoid the whole wearing out a hole and just wear crotchless pants. Not chaps, those chafe.

    How many arms does Adam have? Mikey has a nice smile. Adam, I thought the goal was to be a “star fucker” not a tree fucker?

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