I was driving way too fast the other day, windows down, wind in my hair. Tic Toc came on the radio, and I started to sing Josherz-style (minus the video camera).
♬ Ain’t got a care in world but got plenty of beer / Ain’t got no money in my pocket but I’m already here / And now the dudes are lining up cause they hear we got swagger / But we kick em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger ♪
WAIT … WHAT? What did I just sing? I mean … look at this guy! Is that really what Ke$ha is looking for in a man? Seriously? Ewwwww!
Ya know who else ain’t sexy at all? Freak’n George Clooney. People’s sexiest man like 100 times, and I just don’t see it at all. You can have him, cuz I don’t want none.
And while I’m at it … what about the whole cast of that silly giltter-covered teen cult, Twilight. They’re all Fugs with a capital fuck’n FUGLY. And even that grumpy look’n turd, Kristen Stewart has a constant sourpuss expression on her fug-o face. Blechk times one thousand.
I just don’t get it. I really don’t! What do people see in these ugly monsters? I’d kick ’em all to the curb. Am I crazy? And who would you kick to the curb? Tell me immediately!