I'd kick 'em all to the curb.

I was driving way too fast the other day, windows down, wind in my hair.  Tic Toc came on the radio, and I started to sing Josherz-style (minus the video camera).


♬ Ain’t got a care in world but got plenty of beer / Ain’t got no money in my pocket but I’m already here / And now the dudes are lining up cause they hear we got swagger / But we kick em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger ♪

WAIT … WHAT?  What did I just sing?  I mean … look at this guy!  Is that really what Ke$ha is looking for in a man?  Seriously?  Ewwwww!

Ya know who else ain’t sexy at all?  Freak’n George Clooney.  People’s sexiest man like 100 times, and I just don’t see it at all.  You can have him, cuz I don’t want none.

And while I’m at it … what about the whole cast of that silly giltter-covered teen cult, Twilight.  They’re all Fugs with a capital fuck’n FUGLY.  And even that grumpy look’n turd, Kristen Stewart has a constant sourpuss expression on her fug-o face.  Blechk times one thousand.

I just don’t get it.  I really don’t!  What do people see in these ugly monsters?  I’d kick ’em all to the curb.  Am I crazy?  And who would you kick to the curb?  Tell me immediately!


8 thoughts on “I'd kick 'em all to the curb.”

  1. Good calls (although I do like the Clooney). Kristen Stewart. Yuck. She needs to go away.

    I would kick Brad Pitt to the curb.

  2. I like Clooney as well when he cleans up. I too would kick Brad Pitt to the curb these days, not a couple of years ago though. Wow.

    Ummm. I don’t know. None of the above guys work for me and I’m sure she only wants to do Mick because he’s a gazillionaire. Matthew McCdkfdkladgkjd whatever his name is. I don’t find him all that atrractive.

  3. Ugh, I hate that Mick Jagger line too! Drives me crazy!

    I would kick Taylor Lautner…to my bed. Regardless of the alpaca look, he is cuuuute. That pic of him looks mighty young though and makes me feel pervy. I hope its old. I like him more as the shirtless werewolf rather than Sharkboy.

  4. clooney has his sexy moments. Mick was handsome ages ago; now he looks very very craggy. both twilight boys are unattractive, but lautner is fug-tastic. I honestly do not see the obsession with him. I don’t care if he has abs of steel. His eyes, nose and mouth look like the were squished together….it is not attractive.

    Matthew McCdkfdkladgkjd is not attractive…but i like that he tends to be naked and smoke pot. It is just hilarious.

    Russell Crowe…is not attractive…physically or attitudinally

  5. I get compared to Clooney often (it is only the hair cut and color). My aunt told my mother she thought I looked like Brad Pitt (she’s old and wrong). Clooney has his moments as does Pitt, but my feeling about both is kind of meh.

    Lautner has a nice body, but he does look a bit puggish. The other one looks like he is in constant need of a shower.

    I never understood the fascination with Patrick Dempsy. I also don’t understand the attraction to Angelina Jolie.

  6. Ooh – I don’t get the Patrick Dempsey thing either. McDreamy my ass. He will always be totally geek Ronald Miller to me.

    Matthew McCdkfdkladgkjd has Tyrannosaurus arms.

  7. Adam, my love, you’re not looking at the right parts of Lautner. Get that shirt off of him and who even notices his face? With abs and shoulders and biceps and Orion’s belt and whatever else like his, why do you care if he even HAS a face?

    And lucky john, getting compared to Clooney. I got compared to John Candy. After he was dead.


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